Thursday, February 2, 2017

Izzy, Reporting for Blog Duty Today

Izzy The Wonder Dog Here.
Mom is swamped so I am taking over for her. In case you forgot this is my pretty little face. Yes, I'm wet here. I'm always wet. I go in water almost every day. Don't you?



Boy did we have a fun night last night.
First allow me to explain what my mom bought me.
You see in the early mornings when we are walking no one can see us.
Mom wears a navy coat and I have a dark brown coat.
So at 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning when we are walking in the neighborhood we apparently are difficult to see.

One morning mom had me on the leash, which she doesn't do all the time thank goodness. That morning as we were rounding the corner a car almost came up the curb going to so fast to throw the newspaper. Not only did he startled us but the driver was startled to see us at 4:30 in the morning too. He rolled down his window and apologized profusely. Mom just nodded and muttered something and we walked home.

This happened again a couple of weeks later. This time mom had some choice words for this newspaper man to not drive so fast and try not running people off the sidewalk. He kept saying that she and her dark dog were hard to see. What are we doing out at that early hour anyway? Hey we were on the sidewalk, he shouldn't be there with a car.  I wanted to take a bite out of him but mom pulled me away. I've never bitten anyone before but this guy just seemed to have it coming and I was ready to try this biting thing right then if she hadn't made me move away.  I could go full Cujo on his ass. I know everyone thinks I am a mild mannered girl, but this dim wit almost killed my mom. I may not like her as much as my Dad but she is still a part of my pack. Besides she makes me cooked carrots every day for treats. She is good for something.

Well, these two incidents apparently got my mom all worked up. She kept saying she was not buying a fluorescent coat but perhaps she needs something like the joggers use that blink or light up. That started her search.


So now I have to wear this stupid collar at night and in the morning when I go out. It looks like this one below. The LED light is either solid or it blinks two ways. Your choice. I hate the blinker and I made that known in no uncertain terms. I put my paw down. No to the blinking lights. I'm not a disco for heaven's sake. So the solid light it is.  Oh, how I must train these humans.
This is what I look like at night wearing a LED collar only mine is green like the picture above. Can't see my pal below can you? Yep, that was my Mom's issue with me being hurt. She is very over protective but like I said, she spoils me so I tolerate her.
Now, this brings me to last night. Dad, Mom and I went for our evening walk.
On went the collar over my regular collar. I like to go into the woods near our home to do my business and most times Dad and Mom will wait for me outside of the woods. I hear them chatting so I know they are there and I can do what I need to do.

I am looking for that perfect spot to leave my poo and I hear some young females screaming on the other side of the wooded area of my parents. 
I stop. Dad begins to walk towards them to ask if they were okay.
One of them begins to point to something in the woods and is hysterical.
She is screaming, "Oh my God there is something glowing in the woods - LOOK!"
The other one grabs her phone at the same time and asks, "Should I call the sheriff or my dad? Oh my God, OMG, what is it?!"  
Now I can't poop with all this screaming. What is wrong with these girls? 
I walk further into the woods. Now she is screaming, "Its moving, hurry!!"

My Dad and Mom are now near them and I hear Dad say, "It is just our dog, it's not an alien, calm down girls."  Mom has now gone right up to them and told them about my new collar. They were teens and so scared Mom said. She said they watch too many scary movies. They calmed down, embarrassed and made a semi-laugh. They walked into their house saying good night.
Finally, they stopped screaming and I could poop in peace.
I found my perfect spot and then ran out of the woods to my Dad and Mom who were really laughing at these girls now. My mom said she didn't want to laugh in their face, they were sincerely frightened but she was sure laughing with Dad now.

I was hoping that this would mean I didn't have to wear this dumb thing.
But that seemed to convince them even more that I needed it. 
Apparently, me walking in the woods and making noise on the leaves would have had those girls even more hysterical if they could not see the beast they were hearing. Even saying that made my Dad laugh.  
I am such a wimp, so calling me the beast is pretty funny.
Dad hasn't laughed like this since the wind made the flag make a flapping noise and I jumped and ran behind him.

Now the dumb man who throws newspapers on people's cars, sidewalks and anywhere other than their stoop waves to me and mom in the morning and we notice he isn't driving like a drunk madman anymore.
Looks like I will have to wear this damn thing for awhile now.
On a positive note, perhaps I can scare Oscar, I hate that damn cat! Hmm.....

9 comments:

Julie H said...

lol! Scott bought me some flashing thing for running. I swear more people tried to run me over when I was wearing that damn thing then they did when I wore all black at night lol.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Julie - oh great. so I have that to look forward to. I guess they think this is a video game. :-)

bikinfool said...

Too damn funny!

Mike said...

You should have played to situation a yelled RUN! It's coming this way!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Mike they would have crapped their pants! :-)

Blogoratti said...

This made me smile...warm greetings!

Ami said...

Izzy.. tell your mom to wear something reflective. Please.
You can't be the only visible one of the bunch...

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Blogoratti - Hello! You always make me smile - so we're even!!

Ami - I do wear a reflective thing-a-ma-jig on my wrist of my coat. So you can see us both now :-)

Mike said...

Typing try number 2...
You should have played to the situation and yelled RUN! It's coming this way!
Then yelled while running, "Is he coming this way?! IZZY?!"