Thursday, April 30, 2015

Thursday

My cousin sent me this ecard this morning and wrote, "This made me think of you Peg - miss you"
Nice.

In yesterday's mail I got a postcard. I can't even begin to articulate how excited I was.
Remember when people sent postcards?  I turned that baby around and read the bottom first to see who sent it. It said, "JOE"  
I'm thinking, Joe who? So I read it like a normal person would have done first.

It was a funny thank you for my order of new shirts for an employee from CustomInk where we buy our company shirts, jackets and hats. What a great marketing idea. An email and I wouldn't have paid much attention. This got my attention.  I think I want to get more snail mail that has nothing to do with money being owed. I want a letter or a postcard for the hell of it. How fun!
Why did we stop writing cards and letters? I'm going away in a few weeks. I may look for postcards and send them. Maybe others will get a kick out of it like I just did.

Last evening my cell was ringing off the hook. 6 insurance companies were calling me. I was chatting with friends so I rejected the calls. Later I listened to the voice mails. They all wanted to insure my 2015 Lexus. I don't have a 2015 Lexus. So I called one of them and said that he called me 3 times. We are not looking for insurance. It seems that after talking to them all they were given my cell phone and Rick's name and the make of the car and said we were looking for insurance. When pranksters have this much time on their hands I wish they would do good. Feed the poor, help the homeless, anything! I got a few more this morning. I blocked all the numbers and I did call this company and told them the same. They said they have been getting a rash of these type situations of late. She apologized to me and said we would be taken off their list. But just in case, I blocked her number as well. How I love call blocking!

Glad to see Bernie Sanders is throwing his hat into the ring. We need options, and I like the guy but must do more homework.

And I leave you with my favorite sound in the entire world. A toddler giggling.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

I'm a Walking Zombie

In the past two weeks, the following has been going on in our household.
Pneumonia, dislocated right hip, and a dog who can't stop scooting.

Rick is almost over the pneumonia when he dislocated his hip.  
As I have stated here before Rick is Mr. Cranky Pants when he is not feeling well.
The dog and I like to hide. But he needed me, so Florence Nightingale couldn't hide.

I haven't slept in 2 weeks. I am not ill. First it was all his hacking and coughing. 
Then it was his moaning because he couldn't sleep with the hip issue. 
The other night both were going on simultaneously.
It was 2am Sunday.  He began coughing again.  WHAT?  I thought this was about gone.  
Then he moved a funny way that caused him severe pain. So he let out a moan that made Izzy come over to his side of the bed.  I said, "Well there is a lot of excitement in our bedroom at 2am, however, I am not enjoying it like one would think."  
He laughed and told me not to make him laugh it hurt, and off on a coughing jag he went.

Now of course Izzy decides she has to pee. Really? You can't hold it? 
She goes to the front door. Damn it.
So I throw on clothes and walk her. It was freezing to boot. 
And don't you know I see neighbors?  Why the hell aren't they in bed?  One was walking her dog. I was a hot mess, no bra, hair all over the place, wearing Rick's shirt over leggings and a coat. But then I realized she looked as bad as me. We both mumbled something about why do we love these dogs again and went on our merry way. Then as I was coming around a corner a man was just walking. Who does that at 2am?  Izzy growled so he crossed the road. Thank goodness. If he knew that she would cower and hide behind me he wouldn't have looked so scared. I like that he thought she was mean. He left us alone.

By the time I got back home Rick is in so much pain, I can't stand to look at him. I feel so badly and there is nothing I can do to help. I want to be a royal pain in the ass and say, "you should have gone to urgent care when I told you two days ago because now it's worse."  But I don't. 
He has an appointment with his orthopedic surgeon but not until next Wednesday. 
Apparently this isn't an emergency. It has now gotten so bad that he can't walk. 
A dislocated hip is not only painful but makes walking impossible. Rick being over 6'1 and me being 5'1" makes me carrying him very difficult. But by God I tried. He was best on all fours. 

He made it downstairs to the big sofa. He laid there moaning. He won't eat, he just moans. 
When he had to go to the bathroom he got on all 4's again to "walk" down the hall. 
Unfortunately him being on all 4's makes the dog think he is going to be playing with her. 
At one point, she was all over him and it at least made us both laugh for a moment and forget his pain.  I suggested perhaps he pee in a bottle. He said that he could do this. Okay fine, you stubborn old coot.  He wanted no help in the bathroom and I, of course, wondered how the hell he was going to stand.
I handed him the broom handle and shut the door.  I heard a loud bang/thud and I ran to the door and asked if he was okay. He laughed and said, "I just dropped the broom handle and it hit the bowl of the sink.  I am okay and you can come in and pick it up for me if you wouldn't mind."  
Oh, the honeymoon is so over. 

At 8:30am we headed to Urgent Care because it opens at 9am. 
I said we should go to the hospital, but he said he didn't want to wait that long.
Now how the hell was he going to get in the car?  
He couldn't walk out of the house in the mud on all 4's.
We got the broom handle for him to help himself lean on while also leaning on me. 
God let me tell you how much 240lbs feels like when it's dead weight!  I am really not strong enough and think I may need to do more strengthing for our old age if I need to carry this fella.

We made it to the car, ever so slowly, but we did it. When we got to Urgent Care I got a wheelchair and wheeled him in.  I only bumped him into the door jam and a wall each once. 
In my defense, I can't see over him when he is sitting so I would lean to my side and at that same moment he moved the same way. I bumped into the door jam, he let out a yelp and I do what I always do, I laughed after saying I was sorry.  He said, "Are you trying to kill me?"  I told him if I were I'd have pushed this chair over a cliff this morning. He made a noise. He has no humor that Mr. Cranky Pants when he is not feeling well. I have a low tolerance for his grumpiness, but I do sympathize for the amount of pain this guy is in.

He got a shot in each ass cheek. They gave him a valium and for the love of God we don't know why, we asked  - twice.  But my husband, whose motto is, better living through chemistry, takes it anyways.
They also sent him home with pain relievers and a steroid pack. He came home that day and slept for 6 hrs. He so needed that since we have not been sleeping. Unfortunately, I didn't get that opportunity. I wish they had given me some of those drugs.

He is now walking today - like he has cerebral palsy but walking. He insisted he go to work today to help Gary with this huge job. I gave Gary strict instructions not to let the old man do much. Let him think he was doing something but don't let him lift or do anything that isn't on all 4's as he would be doing a tub. Gary will take care of him because Gary could hurt him. He is so much bigger than Rick and for that I am so grateful. 

Ricks's hip is still not in place completely. As he said, he heard a POP and it felt horrible then better, but it's still not quite right. Only 1 more week until his doctor can see him. By then Rick will probably be fine. But it keeps happening and we need to see if there is a solution for this other than yoga. A new hip perhaps for the old coot.

Izzy has some issue with her bum & girl parts. She went to the vet they thought her anal glands needed to be expressed. They did that and it didn't change. They saw how red her back side and front were so we were given cream to rub on her female parts and her butt. All she wants to do it go outside to the sidewalk or street to scoot. Apparently the pavement does a better job than the grass, my rugs or floors. So at 3 am this morning we are in the middle of the street. I am watching  her scoot and I feel so badly for her.  It keeps her up and in turn we wake up from her digging and attempting to scratch herself. 

I am at my desk on my 3rd cup of coffee and it's only 9:30a. No sleep since 3am. 
When everyone around me gets well I think I will collapse into a puddle. 
You may not hear from me for awhile so that I can sleep.

Friday, April 24, 2015

FED UP!

This weather is enough to drive one mad.
My boobs can't take it any longer.

We went from freezing cold to boob sweating weather in one day.
What the hell?.

We are now back to erect nipple weather. 
What is going on? It's April 24th. It's supposed to be in the 70's now. Not 34. 

I hate sweaty boobs, but I'll take them over walking my dog in gloves, fleece and hat again.
I was a good girl on Earth Day, can't Mother Nature take that into consideration?

That bitch.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Good To Be Home

I was in Altoona this Saturday/Sunday. I am most thankful I live here where I live.
My goodness, I would rather have root canal surgery without drugs than live there.
Oh my goodness. The whole place is like Wal-Mart land. Take that however you wish.

As I mentioned in a previous post we had to go there to meet a high school friend of Rick's.
Both are from a smaller town west or east of where we were. This was the big city.
The gentleman's wife asked Rick to surprise him for his birthday. 

I knew what this was and wasn't going to be, so I was prepared as much as I could be.

We arrived at our hotel. HUGE hotel and no elevator. It was like a maze. We laughed so hard at one point because we couldn't find our way back to our room.  We were on the 2nd floor and we went up and down the stairs a few times. We got the giggles big time. At one point I told Rick that we may want to leave a trail of  crumbs to find our way back. 
It was 3:30 in the afternoon, no alcohol was even involved yet.  We had to ask the 2 women cleaning a room how to get back to our room. They laughed and told us everyone gets lost there.  We didn't figure it out the whole time we were there. Pathetic aren't we?

We were to meet them at 5:30p in the bar of the hotel. We were then going to dinner.
Because Fred didn't know we were coming we made a plan.
Rick was going to text him and say Happy Birthday. Then tell him to turn around and he'd be standing behind him. But my husband can't text or use the phone for shit. He totally screwed it up. I am sitting at the bar and I see these people walk in and assume it is them. I've seen photos of Fred before. Rick saw them and turned to the wall. He texts him - but his home phone, not his cell. See what I mean about Rick and his phone?  
Finally, Rick just walked behind his chair and said, "Hey I hear it's your birthday."  He turned around and looked at Rick and it took a minute to recognize him.  They had their hugs and then I was introduced.

Fred was 60. His wife is 53. No matter what I tell you about how she was dressed I am going to sound mean. So I'm a bitch. Deal with it.

If she had pubic hair we would have seen it, her acid washed jean skirt with a frayed hem was that short.  No exaggeration. Rick said that evening when back in our room, What the hell was she wearing?  If Rick noticed it was a hot mess.
She continued the 1980 theme by wearing pantyhose with this outfit of barely a skirt and sandals. Why no pictures you ask? Because I left my phone/purse in my room damn it.

She was neither attractive or had the ability to wear this. (told you I was a bitch)
She had a low cut tight nylon shirt that showed her tattoos on her boobs.
Lovely, classy looking woman. 
This was not a hot 30-year-old. This was a damn 53-year-old who as Rick likes to say looked ridden hard and put away wet.  Think Jerry Springer show. I was so hoping my first impression was wrong and she was going to be a nice woman.

She talked all night and the next day. Not once was I asked what I did, where I'm from, no small talk or interest of any kind. Didn't even ask the dreaded question, do you have kids?
When she went to the bathroom Rick leaned over and said, "You okay. You're so quiet"  There was no time to talk, she never shut up. I heard about her mentally challenged sister, her son who no longer talks to her due to another sister so she doesn't see her grandson. I heard about her job (waitress) her first marriage. Her hysterectomy and more, oh much, much more intimate details.  I know more than I ever wanted to know. Fred and Rick chatted and I so wanted to join their conversations. 

I was bat shit bored with nodding my head, smiling while listening to this woman.  I drank cabernet before dinner and had a glass during dinner. I said absolutely nothing, not one word uttered throughout dinner except to my waiter when I told him what I was ordering.
Once Rick even tried to get me in the conversation and said, 'Peg used to do this or that and she just kept talking. Never acknowledge that he even spoke. She bulldosed us through the night.

Then I  made the huge mistake after dinner switching to gin. I know better but didn't do better. I didn't feel well at all when I got back to my hotel room. I didn't get sick, but I hung on to the toilet just in case. I haven't done that in 25 yrs. 4 drinks and because I switched liquors I got sick. Dumb ole Margaret

It was an awful weekend for me, but my husband was happy to see his old pal.
That is what was important. But when they asked us to stay at their home next time for the reunion I said I wasn't sure we were coming. I don't want to go back to this godforsaken place. And I certainly don't wish to stay at their home. I may have to remind Rick that he didn't go home with me to my reunion. At least my hometown doesn't look like a picture on the internet of everyone who shops at Wal-mart, you know the pictures. The positive of a town like this? Everyone is the size of a barn and I felt small.

I'm done being a bitchy snob now. I am back in the land of people with teeth. I actually had a very busy morning and enjoyed it more than my whole weekend. Sad when work is more fun than your off days.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Friday Funny


I'm heading north for the weekend. Ooh, this ought to be a doozy.  I'm sure it will be blog fodder.
See you Monday. 

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Taxes

Whew, tax season is over.

Honestly, this makes Rick a real bear. I am not a fan of living with this bear that takes over my husband's body for weeks. Especially when he is constantly saying, Margaret I didn't see XYZ in the folder, please get this for me.   Oh yea, I love how he bellows these things at me. 
Or my absolute favorite is an email sent to me giving me a list of things he needs. 
Apparently the file cabinet and/or the computer is just too hot to touch for him and only I can fetch these things and not burn my hands. Another good one are the emails I receive from him for months. I get all the documentation in order before this all begins. 
I have color coded folders for him. I am sure an accountant would be thrilled to have all these things so damn organized. Oh, but The Bear is not pleased or can't find them.
So what happens? I get more emails saying he needs this or that.
I then walk into the dining room - or ground zero, and show him that he has them already.
The last email I got I immediately went into ground zero, picked up the correct folder, pulled out what he was looking for and walked away saying nothing. 
He is an utter spaz and insists he didn't see it or I just hide it. Yep, that's what I did. I hid it so I had to have this conversation.  I mutter to myself, "I like him, I really do like him, remember that Margaret, don't hurt him"

I keep telling him to send this all to a "guy", let the guy's wife have all this grumpiness.
But nooo, every year he does all 3 divisions and is Mr. Cranky Pants.  My dining room table looks like papers and folders have vomited everywhere for months.

I am thankful beyond belief that it is over. I also do really appreciate that he does this for us but seriously now that business is back to normal, pay someone to do this Rick!!

I booked a massage for my husband this afternoon to bring his shoulders back down to below his ears where they belong. I didn't tell him you see, just booked one for a surprise for all the stress he has been dealing with in that dining room with his laptop.

This morning as I handed him his paper work for the day, he looked over all he was doing. Before he got to the last one, he said, "I love having such a light day." 
Then he turned to the last work order of the day and he saw that it was an hour massage. 
He was like a kid on Christmas morning. He was so cute.  
He looked at the work order, up at me, and then said, "For real? Today? I really have only estimates and a massage? Ah,You really take good care of me."  
Yup, that's what we do. 
I told him I gave all jobs to Gary and made his day easy on purpose after the weeks of taxes and long work days.  He does deserve this.  

Yesterday afternoon after Rick sent in the taxes online I asked, "When do they take the money out of our account?" (we owed money again) 
Rick said, " I don't remember if it's after they go over our return or how it works, to be honest, I'm sure sooner than later though. It is the IRS you know." 

This morning when I came into the office I looked at our account online. 
I like to see if the credit card charges from the day before were correctly deposited. (in the past there have been big issues) Sure enough, the IRS took out our money last night. WOW. That was fast wasn't it?  I bet if I was getting a refund it wouldn't have been that lightening fast now would it?

Taxes over! Let summer begin. 

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Genealogy

Anyone do any genealogy?
Got any tips for this novice who is going bonkers?

I have been attempting to do our family tree.
Sadly most are gone and those alive don't seem to remember or know much more than I do.

In doing the Ellis Island thing online through ancestry.com I found so many discrepancies.
For example, the spelling was wrong so I assumed it was the family I wanted with just some misspellings, so I went that direction. Nope, it wasn't my family. Then in the census I assume it's the wrong family due to the spelling error but then I see the ages of the children and the name is close so is that the family? Maybe. 
It is all so damn confusing. 

I just wish I could have the powers that be on the television show, "Who Do You Think You Are?" do this for me. But since I am not a celebrity I don't get the free help, information or the free trips.
I am so frustrated at this point in time that I am calling it quits on all of it.. 

I imagine back in the day with all these immigrants & the poor English I should be thankful I have found what I have found. But it has sent me in circles, so unless I win the lottery and can pay a boat load of money, I won't be doing my family tree.

If anyone has done this with success I would love any tips you can provide. Otherwise, I think I have to be done.

Friday, April 10, 2015

Oops, I did it again.

It happened again.Just like it did here.

Last night I was at the kitchen island dicing, slicing, and preparing dinner.

Rick was also at the kitchen island working on his tablet.
The local news was on in the background.
A commercial for INOVA hospital was playing.
I heard them say, for your neck, spine and back hair.

I laughed. Rick said, "What are you laughing about?"

I replied, "Didn't you hear what they just said?"
Rick: "Apparently not."
Me:  "I'll rewind it for you so you can hear this. I don't know what the hell they do with back hair at the hospital, but that struck me funny. Maybe it's laser hair removal or something."

Of course, Rick is laughing without even hearing the commercial by what I just said.

I rewind for us to listen. I again hear, "Inova Neck, Spine and Back Hair"
Rick looks at me and says, "Why the hell is that so funny?"
"Well, because what are they doing with back hair?"

Oh my, goodness he is now laughing so hard he could barely speak.

He said, "Is it that you're really a blond or you are really that hard of hearing that you hear that twice?"
"Well, I think it may be the latter the way you're laughing at me. What did they really say then?"

He slowly mouths while doing American Sign Language, Neck, Spine and Back Care.


Yep, that makes more sense.



Thursday, April 9, 2015

My Weekly Random Items.

Tuesday after work I went to have a relaxing pedicure.
My dog sat at the front door with her deflated football in her mouth until I returned.
I pulled up in front of my house and as I walked to the door I saw her. Her tail wagging and she was grunting and groaning as she does when she misses us. I was just with her for 23 of the last 24 hrs so this makes me laugh. But I love every minute of it. She wiggles her butt and her tail rapidly and she is lovin' on me and I can't even get in the house. Don't you wish everyone greeted you like that every day?


My chubba wubba waiting on me.

I have a big issue with the lack of phone and social skills in the world today. My father blames this all on technology. That could be a part of it, mostly I think it was how you were raised. 
Grown ass men call and can't articulate a thought. I wonder what the hell they do for a living that they can't do this? How do you have a job where you can't speak with people and make a point? It's much worse with men than women but they aren't off the hook either. 
So let's recap what a person should know to do when calling a business.
1. Say hello.
2. Explain what you are looking for, looking to be done etc.
3. Then shut up and let the person answer your questions.(men can not do this number 3 at all)
4. When you are done, say thank you and good bye. Social skills.

Sounds easy enough doesn't it?  I get one call a day when those things happen.
Yesterday it was a full day of idiots.One after another. 
I swore there was a sign somewhere to call me and to act stupid.
I had someone call that went like this.

Person on the phone who was a full grown up adult male: "Hey."
Me: " Hello can I help you."
Caller: "I don't know."
Me: What are you looking for sir?"
Caller: "2 things"
Long silence.
Me: "Would you like to share with me what those 2 things are so I may help you?" I chuckle.
Caller:" my bathroom and my kitchen." he is not laughing
Me: "Are you looking to have your tub and tile refinished in your bath?"
Caller: "No."
Me:  "Okay let's start with the bathroom. What are you looking to do?"
Caller: "I'm not sure"
MY HEAD EXPLODES.
Me:  "Do you just want your tub to be refinished?"
Caller: "I think so."
OMG.
Me:  Why did you call? What are the issues  that you think need repaired so I can help you sir?"
Caller: Well I don't know that is why I called you.
OMG!
Me: do you want the tub refinished? Do your tiles need refinished? or do you even WANT them refnished?
Caller: No.
Me: NO to all of that or just the tiles?
Caller:  the tiles.
OMG CAN YOU FUCKING PUT A SENTENCE TOGETHER YOU NUMBNUT?
Me: Okay is this a standard 5' tub or a claw foot? jacuzzi tub? soaking tub?
Caller - I think it's standard.
I go through what makes a standard and quote a price and go through all the shit of warranty, time frame etc.
Me: What did you need for your kitchen, new countertops? 
Caller: I don't know for sure, maybe my wife should call.
O.M.G ya think?
Me: That would be great, have her call me and I can walk her through everything and if we are doing count tops we can set up a time that a person can come out show samples and go over everything with her.That would be a free estimate.
Caller: Does that cost us something?
Me: The estimate is free.(argh!)
Caller: But you will charge me to refinish my bathtub right?
I'm thinking, is he stupid, is he trying to be funny?
Me:  Oh we will still charge you to refinish your bathtub.
Caller: okay 
And he just hung up. No thank you, no "see ya" just hung up.

Now when I tell these things to Rick upon hanging up he swears the insane or mentally challenge call me. Nope, just your typical DC Metro customer. Those that are highly paid and highly educated but are so socially inept it is scary. This actually happened when Rick was here, he was looking at me with his head cocked and I made the international sign to write down what I was saying so could blog it. That is how sick I am.  I thought you could enjoy some of my daily pain.

Is it wrong that I want to drink every day after work?
Is it wrong that after work I never want to answer my personal phone?


Friday, April 3, 2015

Hip Hip Hooray!

As I mentioned to you the other day my hip is giving me some grief.

I have had this pain for awhile now. I'd say about 6 months. Each month just a tad bit worse.
I haven't said anything to Rick because, jeez, every day there is another issue so why bother. We have better things to laugh and talk about than our old people aches and pains.
Besides Rick has enough of his own.

But now it has gone into my groin area, the pain that is. The pain is now always waking me up at night, not sometimes anymore, always.
Thursday night I got up and went downstairs for some ibuprofen. I turned on the TV and thought perhaps sitting in Rick's recliner would be more comfortable. Nope. Not at all. 
Sitting is bothersome altogether. 
I poured myself a big ole glass of ice water. Watched some TV that I had recorded and leaned against my kitchen island watching television until I just couldn't take it any longer and I then laid on the sofa. Laying doesn't feel good either but I was tired of standing and I was wide awake damn it. 

I broke down and called an orthopedic surgeon today because I just know this isn't going to be nothing.  If I have to have a replacement hip that is it. I might as well wear a sign that says, "I'm an old lady"  I can't even get a senior discount yet, this shouldn't be happening.

I had a OMG gorgeous orthopedic surgeon when I had my torn rotator cuff repaired.
Oh my goodness. Rick insisted I was hurting myself on purpose because he was hummina- hummina good looking. So you all know that is who I called, right? 
Nothing like being in pain and this gorgeous hunk a hunk a burning love walks in and makes you forget all about it.

But my luck was such that I was told he doesn't work on hips so I had to see someone else in their practice. I saw this doctors photo on the website. He is not a Dr. McDreamy like my rotator cuff man. He is an older man like myself in his 50's. I don't want that.  
I want my big tall,tan, blond, muscular doctor again who has the best smile and hiney. 
Yea, I looked. He walked away, what's a girl to do? 

I may have to hurt my other shoulder.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Bad Signs

Eyes getting so bad you need stronger glasses - check

Can't hear a lick, need hearing aid - check

Hip pain getting progressively worse and now can't sleep - check

If I were a horse they'd shoot me.



Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Hyacinths

I have never planted hyacinths.
At first I thought, perhaps they arrived because the seeds blew over the fence. 
Did a neighbor have hyacinths?

I know for a fact the single man to my left does not. But I asked to be certain. He laughed and said he had never had them on his patio.  I asked the people to my right. Nope, they have never had hyacinths on their patio.

So how did they get there?
We planted tulips and only 2 are coming up in between hyacinths. 
We planted the tulip bulbs 5 years ago.