Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Tuesday Ramblings

I like to watch the television show Fashion Star.
I'm girly like that.

A couple of weeks ago my husband was playing online poker so we were in the same room while I watched this show. We aren't normally. He is usually watching a show where there is no dialogue only things that blow up or where people yell at one another.
I don't like that type of thing. (hells kitchen and that screaming chef. jeez!)

I didn't realize that he was looking at the TV screen every now and then from his laptop.
But he was to my surprise. When they did the actual cat walk there was a hopeful designer who was showing peplums. The hopeful designers were to design that week for all people, meaning those women that wear a size bigger than a 12 or plus size, and those that don't.
Their designs were to flatter all sizes of men and women.
When this hopeful designer had a dress with a peplum walk the cat walk Rick said aloud, "That peplum is in the wrong place on the hip, that is so going to hit a woman in the wrong area?"

I looked over at him with my mouth agape in utter shock. Who was this man?
He saw the look on my face and said, "Ah, Shit. Can I have my balls back?"
I burst out laughing. But here's the thing - he was 100% correct! It was in an odd place.
And then at the point of the show when the real designers tell them their opinion all of them said exactly what Rick said. Oh that made us both laugh.

So now I have taken to calling him Sally.
"Take your skirt off Sally."
"Hand me your man card Sally."
You know stuff like that.... just because I can.
Well and because he busts my balls every chance he gets and it's time for "touche babycakes!!"  Don't you agree?

My husband has shared with some people my blog address.
Because of that I have been unable to share what I really would like to share.
I hate that.
He has learned his lesson.

I called my doctor and got a recommendation yesterday for someone to see regarding my hearing, or lack of hearing. Wouldn't it be funny if I was just fine and Rick could stop teasing me?  Yea, I know it's not gonna happen but a girl can dream.

I am going to a luncheon on Thursday at a local country club.
A woman I met in my neighborhood invited me and I am so excited.
There is a fashion show from Lord and Taylors and of course lunch etc.
I am looking forward to meeting great women.
All my friends are all over the country and not so many here.
So I am looking forward to this. Besides I can dress nicely.
Working from home does not move me to dress well most days so this gives me a reason to play dress up and wear heels for the day.

I have some stalkers on the blog. I love them! 
I love them because they come quite regularly and I wanted them to know I appreciate them as much as my blogger buddies who comment.
Because they do not comment I don't know them.
 But they are some of my faithful and I see the city or country they are from on my stats and site meter and I love it.
I wish I knew them or they would comment so I could know them better. 
I do like them hanging around none the less. So 'Sarnia; keep on coming.
You are a city I had never heard of but from my favorite country.
If I don't see you in my stats I worry. So keep on coming by but if you want to introduce yourself I would love it.  If not publically you can always just email me privately. 
 I think the person who is on from Illinois is a gal named Bob...tee hee.
That is a joke of course and if it is the person I think it is she'll get it.
What no comments from you either to let me know you're still around?
Ah, that's okay ladies.....or perhaps gentlemen, I love you coming around anyway you want to.  It tickles me.

Rick has me on this "plan" of his that if he keeps taking pictures of me I will get more comfortable with my pictures.   I will not.
Where the hell was this idea when we were 30? Not 57.  Honestly.
He keeps grabbing my camera and shooting. I keep deleting.
Thankfully almost all of them are blurry. I told him to put the setting on the point and click  if he wants to use my camera or  else use his phone. Silly man. 
I will always think I look horrific no matter how many pictures he takes.
But I am playing along....for now at least.
I know I need to get over it but....
As he told me this weekend, he has no pictures of me and it makes him sad.
Oh contraire, I told him. He has a damn photo on his phone of me in my new bra.
I found this out one day while playing around with his phone. I didn't even know!!
He claims he thought it was a pretty bra so he snapped a picture unbeknownst to me.
Oh No, not my face in the photo, just my boobs in my new bra.  
When I asked him to remove it he said no one knows it's me because there is no face just boobs.  He's a damn fool!!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Laugher, Shopping, Eating and Wine.

Yes all in that order. That is what I did all weekend.
(and drive, she flew into BWI and that's a hike)

My sister was visiting so I had a 2nd person here to remind me that I am in desperate need of a hearing aid.  A lot of laughter ensues after one of my earing mishaps but it sucks. She was so sweet too because I answered her with what I thought she said but lordy it wasn't even close to what she said. 
As we were driving along the highway she saw a car she liked.
She said, "I really like the Ford Edge's"
I responded, "I have some Halls throat lozenges. I have a sore throat too."
Then after a few minutes of her rolling my answer around in her pretty little head she asked me what the hell I was talking about.
I said, "Didn't you just say you had an itchy throat?"

She begins to howl with laughter and tells me, louder of course, what she really said and now we can't stop laughing. Oh my, I do have to face this earing shit. I don't want to but it's not going to be funny for much longer.

Boy the 3 of us sure did laugh a lot and I don't care what anyone says it is just good for you to laugh! Just like red wine. See if you drink red wine and you laugh a lot you will probably live a long healthy life. Or at the very least enjoy your life.
At least that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

My sister, Rick and I all have the same sense of humor and we tend to laugh at everything. Even when a bit morbid. We are gigglers she and I. And we sure did a lot of it too.

 Rick being the perv he is to my little sister.
 He looks drunk here but he's not.... yet.
 I am so happy that this blurry one you know I did not take.
I'm trying to be mad here in the 2nd photo below so the damn fool I'm married to will stop pointing that camera at me. I HATE HAVING MY PICTURE TAKEN!! I look intoxicated in that one with my glasses all crooked. I am not.....yet.
 Jen and I took a walk after our breakfast Sunday morning and I brought the camera. Trying to go for a close up and blur the background as I read in my class handouts.
And heaven's to betsy I got it!  Wonders never cease.
That damn teacher would be proud.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Photography Class

Oh Photography Class. I had such hope.

My first day of class I was so excited. I couldn't wait to learn. I feared being out of the classroom for a while would be difficult but I was up for the challenge. As I walked into the classroom there were 16 other shiney faces who were as happy to be there as me.

The instructor was a teacher at this high school for the mentally challenged. She joked that since she teaches special ed we didn't have to worry about not getting things. ha ha we all laughed.

We students were always on time. However the instructor either lost her way to the classroom or felt she had better things to do because she was never on time.
I find it so incredibly rude and insensitive to be late consistently. It shows a lack of consideration and respect for others. (I should have seen that sign loud and clear!)
Class was to begin at 6 and go until 9p.
It never began on time or ended at 9, always earlier.

When our instructor did arrive she would be hurried and seem frantic.
It became a dance we did to help her get things going. We were all adults we understood working 2 jobs, juggling work and life etc. From the 2nd class on we saw her drill and we picked up her slack so we could get started and not waste the first 45 minutes with her running like a chicken with it's head cut off.

The instructor would run into the classroom and dropped all the papers to the handouts on the front table. A young man and myself sorted them the first time and put them in piles. Then everyone would come up to the table and get that weeks handouts so class could begin. Each week another couple of students would do the same. We just automatically began doing this without discussion and it worked fine and we didn't need to lose time while she darted around.

When class began it consisted of her asking us if we picked up our handouts on the table for this weeks topic. She then had this series of handouts on the over head projector and she read it aloud to us. Then we went home and were to do what we just read.
Not what we just learned but what we just read. That is a big difference. 
I wanted to learn in class. You see to me you need to see this work and then read the theory and only then you can do the homework. But no one said anything and I figured it was just me who felt this way.

We then went home and did the homework assignment that was on the last page of the theory handouts. It was a struggle because I was never sure if this is what it was to look like. If it was blurry was that the effect she wanted? We didn't know.

The following week would open the same way with the handouts. But then she took our homework that we put on a flashdrive and she would go over each persons photos.

"Peggy why would you take this photo you can barely see the child's face?"

"I was trying to show movement because it stated in the handout to use xyz setting and to capture the movement I needed to do abc.  Now I realize the sun was behind his head so while I got one I didn't get the other."

"Well it didn't work."

"Yes, I see that. Do you think if the sun wasn't behind him it would have worked otherwise as far as showing movement and composition?"

"Didn't you read the work?"

"Yes, and honestly Nora it would help me if you could show us a photo using the setting you required us to use and how it should look? I seem to need that"

"No, you should be doing that."


That was no big deal for me. I got what she was saying, didn't like it but I got it.
I got off easy.

The next person who's homework she went over she made cry.

She told her that her pictures were horrible and if she didn't understand to read it again. The student then asked her if she could show us examples to know what we are going for.I was sitting next to her. A grown professional woman in her late 40's who was so frustrated she teared up. I felt so badly for her. I was feeling this way too.I whispered to her to not let her get to you.
She never came back to class after the 4th class.

There was a very quiet tiny woman who sat in front of me.
She too was going for showing movement as well as composition.
This woman never said peep to any of us.
This day while going over all her homework photo's she was given the 3rd degree.
This tiny quiet woman said, 'you don't teach us or show us what it should look like how are we to know? you just make us read. i can read at home!'

Oh no she didn't.
The quiet in the room was amazing.
I wanted to jump up and hug this woman. She said it loudly and with anger.
This 80lb little woman who never said anything said what we all have been thinking.
The instructor mumbled something and took out this woman's flash drive without going over the rest of her homework. Totally ignoring her.
She then went on to the next person.

The following week there were a few less people yet again.
Each week we would lose another person or 2 or 3.
I continued to go but I was so damn frustrated.
I asked a lot of questions and I truly know that bugged the shit out of her.
What I did learn from the class is that I need both seeing and doing to learn unfortunately.
I paid for the class and damn it she was going to teach me something. But she would be annoyed if you asked to many questions.

Just one week I would have liked it if she showed us some photo's of what we'd be learning.
Going back to movement for a moment. It would have been great to actually see some photo's that accomplish this. Then tell me the theory on how to achieve it. Then explain how to use composition with it. Ah, then I can go home and do my homework and practice doing the same thing and understanding why I am doing what I am doing. I also would learn then what would happen if I didn't do such and such. Frustrating is my word for this class.

Does what I am asking for make sense to you?

By the time I went to my last class the student total went from 17 to 7.
I was so frustrated this particular night I left my last class I decided to continue to read my books and do this on my own. There were 4 classes left. 
I felt I was wasting my time going to this class.
I would rush to get there on time in horrific traffic at that hour of the day.
She would never be on time, but heaven forbid should you walk in after her she would be livid! No excuse to be tardy she'd say.

She was a terrible teacher and then there was never a night where we actually stayed until 9. She always wanted to go home. One evening she said that we were going to leave at 8p - she didn't get started until 6:45p.  Not even enough time to get to our homework review which honestly helped me more working with the students than anything she could help us with. Unless of course she was making women cry.

I plan to take another class but not with her.
I will wait until after this wedding I just don't have the extra time right now.
I did fill out my evaluation form online.
I had Rick help me so that I sounded constructive and not angry like I was. (am) 
Being a local high school adult class I guess I got what I paid for. It wasn't that very expensive.
But that doesn't make it any less frustrating.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Hump Day

So many things going through my little head this week.
Izzy is still dealing with Lyme. We had to go back to the vet 'cause symptoms were back.
She is back on medication.  A whopping $69.52 was the Costco discount price for her medication. Jeez. That is some discount isn't it?
Within 2 days of medication we see the difference. She wants to run and play more.
I think this affects her joints and that is the reason she won't walk or run much. 
Her fever is gone. I feel badly that she will have to deal with this her whole life.
We (vet and us) feel that this is the Lyme rearing it's head because of her symptoms but they did a panel of blood work so we are awaiting the results of those. We should hear from them today or tomorrow. I just hate her sad sick puppy eyes. She puts her head in your lap and looks at you as if to say, "help me please!" But she is a lovey dovey dog when she's sick and part of me loves that. Bad mommy.
I am trying to get through a book for my book club that is an okay book.
Not a great book but not a bad one either. Just an okay book.
It's is written in a style that reminds me of a person  who just took a writing class. 
I am chomping at the bit to get started on 2 others that I have that are both highly recommended as well as highly acclaimed.
Last night while reading the required book I was so tempted to toss it and grab one of the other 2 instead. I plugged away and took a lot of intervals to look at the TV screen to see the baseball game.
There was a young girl who's blog I read for a long time. She was a feisty young thing trying to find her way in the world. She and I talked off line and developed a friendship. Then she stopped writing. I wrote to her once and never heard from her. I knew she had moved to another state and was trying to get her sea legs so I didn't persist. I wish I had.
I found out that she passed away this past weekend. It is haunting me.

I know what you're thinking, you didn't really know her.
But I feel I did. And if not then by gosh she touched my heart then.
I have said this before that the friends I have made on the blog are real.
They aren't "pretend" friends as strangers may think.
These friends send me words to pick me up.
They write me kind thoughtful emails asking about me.
They aren't so self consumed that when you ask them a question for your sake they don't turn it around and make it about themselves.
I won't link them here but they know who they are.
Tammie and Jenny are two blogger buddies that have been there for me through some dark times.  Both have read between the lines and instinctively knew I needed that call or email and just reached out, sent gifts to cheer me and to lift me when I needed it most. They knew me enough to know it was a dark time. Isn't that the definition of a friend?  So called friends who see me physically weren't as thoughtful or that much of a friend.

This all came flooding back to me when I heard about the young woman's passing.
I wish I had continued to try to reach her. I know I told her how terrific she was but oh I don't know what.... I just am having a hard time with this.
I don't have facebook and that is how others knew of her diagnosis and passing.
I have rebelled and rebelled loudly against stupid facebook but if it means I have to do facebook I may just have to do it.
Damn you Facebook.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Matty Girl.

I was never really a dog person or animal person.
I am petrified of house cats but otherwise I didn't dislike them,  just had no desire to have any pets.

Growing up we had a dog. Actually this crazy ass dog came to live with us as what my father referred to as a package deal. My mom had died and he was remarrying someone who had a dog and a small child. I loved the little sister but that damn miniature poodle was annoying to me. It wasn't an affectionate dog, it was a jumping, yapping annoying dog. I know they are supposed to be smart but Andy never really seemed smart to me. When I moved out my parents got a miserable little mean terrier. I mean to tell you it was a scary ass mean dog. I did not like it and didn't think it was far fetched that it would eat off our face if it wanted to.
My extended family didn't have any dogs so I was never around them.

Then we moved here and had a great neighbor who got a golden retriever puppy.
There is nothing, absolutely nothing, cuter than a golden puppy.
The young gal that lived next door traveled a lot. She was young and single and went out a lot too. So we watched her dog more than she did. We both worked from home at the time and would go over there for lunch and take the dog out for walks and just play with her. Sometimes just bringing her over to our house until they got home. We both fell in love with this dog. We had her dog, Matty, for a weekend and I was hooked. I knew right then that there were "normal" dogs out there and I wanted one of those dogs.

Rick trained her and when the owner would come home we would always get a call asking, "did you teach her this?"
My favorite is when Rick taught Matty to stop at each corner of the block and sit. Then when Rick would say, Go ahead, the dog would then cross the street.
He taught Matty to walk off leash and she was every bit as good at this as Izzy is today.
Once when the owner was walking her the dog just stopped on the corner and Frannie wondered why she did that. But then she did it again at the next corner. So when Fran got home she called us and asked if Rick taught her that. I suggested to Rick that if you are training her you really should clear it with her first. He went to Frannie and she said, "hell no you don't have to ask me. Just let me know what you've done because I couldn't understand why she wouldn't cross the street."

One day Rick was at the grill at our back fence that was the same fence in Matty's yard.
Matty got up on a chair that was against the fence and put her front paws on the fence and was looking for Rick. When Rick stood up and put the lid on the grill down Matty was right there in his face and it scared him and yet made him laugh. We actually thought of putting in a doggy dog in our fence for her because honestly at that time the dog spent more time with us than her owner.  Matty would put those paws on the fence and bark and look into our windows for Rick. I would yell upstairs, "Rick your furry friend is here for you"  It was adorable!!

Matty moved to Leesburg VA and we didn't see her as often. This friday night Matty came over to visit with her beautiful owner.
This was the first time Matty had been here since we got Izzy.
Matty is now 9 1/2 years old. She sure is a lot whiter than I remember, but so am I.
She also has a hitch in her gitty up as Rick calls it.
That made me a bit sad but she is such a happy dog and so affectionate.
I was rubbin' and lovin' on her and I stopped. Needed a sip of wine you know.
Oh no she didn't like that. She put her paw on my arm to tell me to keep rubbing.

She and Izzy got along fine but Iz was not happy with all the affection Matty was getting from Rick or me.

The owner took my camera and shot some photo's - some are blurry but I had to share.
She asked to see my camera and she asked if she could shoot pictures and I said sure. 
I took the 3rd one. You can see the cloudiness of Matty's eyes that is happening too.
Old age sucks for all of we creatures doesn't it?

So here is Matty Girl. The dog that made me fall in love with big dogs and get Izzy.
I think Izzy should have been nicer to her because she wouldn't be living this great spoiled life she has.

 don't ask what the hell these 2 are doing but Rick was enjoying himself.
 what is really important in this blurry photo is the crack in that bowl. It is white and dark chocolate drizzled on caramel popcorn. (Frannie and I thought it went well with red wine.)Matty is all over Rick and Rick is holding Izzy's butt.
 I took these two 'cuz I am enjoying the few flowers I have on my patio.
I can't wait until I can fill up the patio with beautiful flowers like this.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Free Shipping

I guess a lot of people have their panties in a twist over this because it will be aired at 10pm eastern time (and later) and heaven forbid their kids may hear this  If this is upsetting to you I want to know why your children are up past 10pm?   Trust me if they are old enough to be up that late they have heard much, much worse at school. Aside from the fact that it's potty humor I found it a bit clever because it got my attention. I don't normally pay any attention to KMart ads. Isn't that the point of advertising, to get our attention? Ship, I think it worked.

This also reminded Rick and I of a SNL commerical from a few years go. For whatever reason blogger is not allowing me to post it but here is the link

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Loose Items in my Head Today

**Why do all terrorist attacks seem to happen in the eastern U.S.?
Yes, Oklahoma is southern not eastern but it's not in the west either.   Just wonderin'

**My sister is coming to visit me next weekend and can I tell you how excited I am? 
I'm going to drive her bat shit crazy 'cause I am so excited to see her. I'm sure photo's will follow. She's a young 'en. She's only 39. She thinks she's old. But everything on her is up where it's supposed to me. That is my gauge you see. Pert breasts = Young bitch. 
Yea, it works like that.  When she was little, like 4 or 5 and I would take her places with me everyone thought she was my child. She would get so angry. Once at the bank they asked if they could give her a lollipop. I said sure. She told them, "You know she's not my mother."
I just smiled. If that happened today they would probably assume that I kidnapped her.

** I am thinking of getting lasik for my eyes. It's the same as new glasses for God's sake so why not just do this and get it over with. I called a place that advertised $70 for a pair and free exam. Well by the time you add progressive lenses and all this other stuff I need they were no were near $70. More like $780.  I said a polite, No thank you. 
I then began to shop around. I have tried contacts but my left eye just can't be fitted.
Sadly you can't wear just one if you wish to see things on both the right and left side. 
It seems to be harder and harder to see for this ole whippersnapper and I hate glasses so anyone out there have lasik?  Can you give me any pointers and your review? 
Someone told me to go to Canada but by the time you pay for the trip you might as well just get it done here.  It all ends up being about the same.

**On my health insurance form they asked me if I ever took or am taking currently cocaine, meth, heroin, ecstasy and a plethora of drugs that I have never taken nor do I take today. (it's early yet though,....tee hee) It also said if yes, how often?
Do people really check the YES box if they are taking these and think they will get insurance?  That made me giggle. They asked about pot too. I was not about to tell them that in 1972 I smoked  pot in the grave yard with my cousin from Cleveland. I would probably be denied insurance here in 2013.  
We were both grounded for the rest of the summer because we got caught by my father who somehow saw everything I ever did.  When my friends would call my house that summer my father would tell them I couldn't talk to them until we went back to school. He actually told them that I was grounded and to not call again until we went back to school.
I thought I was going to die and die an old maid.  Gee it all worked out okay.
But I didn't tell the insurance company any of that.

**I had a dream about my mom again. She was alive and when I went next door to my neighbors she opened the door. I was so excited to see her and she kept saying that dinner wasn't ready so come back later as she shut the door. Weird huh? 

**My baseball team is hobbling. Seriously all are hurt. I had to laugh when I read a few days ago that one of our starting pitchers hurt his back getting off the couch. I believe Andy will be 41 in June. Oh yea, the team is old and falling apart.

**We have a sofa on the patio along with the table.
Here it is.

Izzy wants on the sofa all the time. Normally there is a beach towel on the one end so she knows she can go up there on top that beach towel.
But I washed & dried it and forgot to bring it back outside for her.
Last night we were sitting out on the patio having some wine and Izzy put her chin on the sofa and looked at us. That means she wants up but she won't get up because there was no beach towel on it. So I ran in and got her beach towel and put it on the sofa and she immediately jumped up there and instantly fell asleep. I don't know how I got this good of a dog but I thank the dog god's because she is amazingly well behaved. Rick and I say this after each time she "asks" permission for something.

**Remember the glass table we had and the wind blew it over and it shattered?
Then Rick used the bottom frame and made a top from left over tile as shown here?
Well we just decided to use that table again instead of buying a new one. They were expensive and there is nothing wrong with this one. It may not be perfect but it works.
So we decided to use it until it dies. I'm sure it won't last long. Then again since it's partially homemade it may last a lifetime.  My patio will be great once we get our flowers all planted. I went to my nursery but I was told that it is still a bit too cold for a lot of flowers so I have to wait a bit.
That's okay you can drink wine or have cocktails on the patio with or without flowers.
Ain't America Great?

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

You've Been Warned....This may be boring.

I have told you over the last few years that I have had health issues.
Big ones and little ones. Add them together and they were all a giant pain in the ass.

Dozens of doctors poo-poo'd me.
Dozens more (all men) wanted me to just take anti-depressants.
I never would. 
I know women who need them.
I just wasn't one of them. I just needed a doctor who could help me.

I found my Doctor Angel and over the last several years she has helped me beyond measure. I had a parasite (oh let me tell you how fun those are)
My liver and kidneys were not functioning properly.
I was gaining weight without the aid of eating more or badly.
I had so many symptoms that one couldn't understand what was happening to me.
I was so fatigued I could only do what was necessary to do. I was sick all the damn time.
My muscles would be in constant pain and sometimes they would actually seize up on me so that I had to have magnesium intravenously to help with the pain. Yea, that was fun.

My allergies were beyond anything one could imagine.
Not just regular hay fever but everything. Today my hay fever is slight in comparison.
I was sick with colds, bronchitis and pneumonia every year.
I had numbness in my limbs, I had so many things to list it would make your head dizzy. And it doesn't matter any more because today I am healthy.
This morning she was so happy with the state of my blood work that she was giddy and she hugged me ....twice!

My doctor angel figured it all out. She got the weight off me. (85lbs as of today)
As of today my blood work was perfection. My liver and kidneys are now functioning optimally. Once I removed gluten from my diet a plethora of symptoms left me. (joint pain, numbness etc)

I have to laugh at people who say things to me like, "it's just a little bit of flour" so that I will eat their food.  Would you tell a person with a peanut allergy that it's just one small peanut? C'mon people use your noggin here. Gluten makes me sick physically on the inside of my body as well as what you can see on my outside. This blogger puts it perfectly here to make it understandable.

Today the doctor found that some adjustments still need done for my thyroid but my adrenals are working well right now. 
Aside from my inability to sleep through the night this is the best I have felt in 30+ years.

I love this doctor and if I played for the other team I would want to marry her.
I told her that as well today and we both laughed.

I think I was a real puzzle when I first went to see her.
Once she called me after a recent visit at 7:30a in the morning.
God how I panicked because I thought I was dying or she found something rare on my blood work. 
She said that while she was showering she thought of something, could I meet her at her office?  I told her I could. She had me tested for a gluten intolerance, allergy or celiac right then. This was before the craze of gluten as it is today. This was before it was a well known "thing" (For me not a fad diet. For me it's life.)

She told me that she couldn't understand why I wasn't responding and in the shower she does some of her best thinking she said and wanted me to try this right away.  I'll never forget that. Some of the symptoms mirrored a thyroid issue so that was confusing all the doctors. But she didn't give up on me. She believed me when I said I wasn't feeling well.
She never once offered me drugs. She was convinced we would get to the bottom of this. Today she did.

It's nice to feel so damn good. It's even greater to know that in my 50's I am the healthiest I have ever been ever in my life. Most of the issues she discovered have been with me since childhood. You know, what my family always called, "Peggy's idiosyncrasies"
All of them going undiagnosed for this long only made things tougher to get back to normal.
But we did it. And while she figured it out I take some credit because I had to do a lot of hard work myself. So I will pat myself on the back here as well.

I now only take medication for my thyroid. The rest are all supplements.
I have applied for health insurance this week.
They actually called to ask if it was correct that I only take medication for my thyroid at my age. Apparently in ones 50's most people take meds for everything and especially for things they could just control by eating well.  I told them that was indeed true. So hopefully my insurance will be approved and be somewhat affordable.

I did a happy dance when I got home today.
Life is good. I am healthy, Rick is on his way to healthier, my pants are too big and I am smitten with this man who adores me.
Life doesn't get any better people!

Friday, April 12, 2013

A Random Life Lesson

We had a big fat bird just hanging out on our fence and garage roof .
This poor bird was acting nutso.
I should have taken a picture/video of this bird but I instead  just stood there watching this bird going crazy with what may have been panic and/or worry.  I couldn't take my eyes off the bird and his/her antics. I am assuming it was a her but I could be wrong.

Our garage is behind our townhome.
See that door? These two birds were casing the joint for a week.
I took this with my phone one day through the windows on the back of the house.
Then I didn't see them again for awhile.

Well that door is left open a great deal of the time for no good reason, we just don't close it behind us when we go in and out of it.
When all this commotion started the door was closed.
The bird had some twigs or something in his mouth and kept flying up to the window. 
Then the bird would go to the roof, then the fence. It circled for hours. I realized this bird must have been building a nest in our garage and we didn't notice.
The bird couldn't get to it's nest and was in panic mode.

I felt badly for the bird but I really didn't want the nest in there so I wasn't about to go out there and open the door.

The problem with all this was that I have a big ole fridge in the garage and I have extra things stored in the garage cabinets as well.  I go in and out of my garage several times a day.  The reason I saw the bird was because I had to go out there. 
So there I stood watching this poor thing trying to get to her nest and thinking how could I go into the garage without her following me in.

I wanted to get the steaks from the freezer to thaw so we could grill them for dinner.
I also needed some paper towels in the cabinet out there.  (I have shit for extra storage inside my house so we use some garage cabinets) 
The bird flew away or so I thought and I decided to make a run for it.
Oh yea, I got bombed by this damn bird.
It was like a hitchcock movie!

So now what the hell do I do?  Why like any chicken shit I ran back out and into the house.
Yep I stood at the back wall of windows and watched for it to come out. Just stood there like a big ole baby.  Then I made a run for it when I saw her fly out and I shut that damn door.

I have to admit I felt like a shit but I do not want a nest in there.
The clever little bird was building it's nest on top of the garage door opener.
Which is right over Rick's work bench.
I can  just see all that bird shit all over him and the bench. While I admit that makes me giggle a bit I knew he would not be happy.

This poor bird circled the area for 2 days and gave up. Whew.
The nest is gone, the bird is gone and we keep the door closed now.
Lesson learned.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Old Lady Parts

When I was about to turn 35 my husband signed me up for an Assisted Living Facility in my hometown. Of course he thought this was a damn hoot.
Of course he didn't tell me he did this either.
I was freaking out about turning 35, which I now know is so damn ridiculous.

All of a sudden on my 35th birthday I got a welcome packet to go to live at Springhill Assisted Living and Nursing Home.  Oh they sent me pretty pictures all right.
How lovely that I can dine in this quality dining room with all my other friends in their walkers. I could go to the doctor on site.  Nursing staff 24/7. Photo's of the nice one bedroom apartment that could be mine for a small lottery win.

I called Springhill and told them I was only 35 so please take me off your mailing list.
This must be all a mistake I told them. Oh but no, they kept the marketing materials coming. I was bombarded with brochures, updates on new bingo events etc. I was invited to open house, social gatherings and "fun" events held there as well as lectures.

Rick of course found this hilarious. I did not.
I had to leave the damn state before these stopped.

Leaving Pennsylvania and going to Washington state stopped Springhill brochures but did not stop my husband's pranks at my expense.  In Seattle I began getting old lady shoe catalogs. OMG!  I said to him innocently one day, "God I wonder how I got these orthopedic old lady shoes sent to me?"  He said, "who knows you get so many catalogs."

It just didn't stop there, oh no.
I received information on reverse mortgages, funeral arrangements, tub conversions, Depends, walkers, support hose, living wills (ok that was a good one) and the best was the wigs OMG the wigs for old people losing their hair.  Tell tale signs of dementia, best places to live when retired, and  home health care. The list goes on and on
You name it for old people and I was getting samples, catalogs, phone calls. I, being a bit slow, realized it was Rick who was doing this to me and I wasn't even 40 yet. 

When I confronted him he laughed his ass off.  Not a joke funny boy.
No matter how often I told them I was only in my 30's they didn't care.
They didn't stop bombarding me with this shit.

Fast forward to now and I am an old lady.
My parts are squeaky. As my doctor so lovingly put it to me about my recent torn labrum/shoulder, "Well at your age your parts are out of warranty."  
Nice huh?

Yesterday I got an email from INOVA Hospitals telling me they are having free lectures that may be helpful to me at one of the local hospitals.
The first one was for hip replacement.
The second one was for shoulder pain.
"State of the art new techniques" it states. 
Oh my goodness this is what my life has become?
The good old days when I just got emails for penis enlargements appear to be gone.
What the hell is happening to my life?

So you all know who I figured was doing this to me right?
He swears he didn't do it. Told me he would swear on his fathers grave.
But it did make Rick  laugh his ass off because now you see one of those lectures is definitely appealing to us.  (me)

I'm still not sure I believe him 100%. 
The man has been fucking with me since April 13th 1987. 

While I am a candidate for the state of the art shoulder pain lecture I will not be attending.

I have decided that I will instead be attending an all female lecture on how to get away with murder. The guest speakers are Casey Anthony and Jodi Arias. 

Not so hilarious now is it Funny Boy?

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Spring....I Missed You!

Ah, Spring.....Daffodils, Tulips, Cherry Blossoms to name just a few.
Spring is the time you can open your windows and enjoy the fresh air after months of being all closed up. 

Yes, people dream of spring time and all the happiness it brings.

We, here in the mid-Atlantic got robbed of spring time.
We went from having the heat on one day to needing the air conditioner the very next day.
We went from walking the dog in hat, coat, scarf and gloves to the next day in 90 degree heat and flip flops.

No spring for us.
I dreamt of it for months but it just skipped by my home all together.
I longed to be able to sit on my patio with a nice cold beverage and enjoy an afternoon or evening. Now it's too hot to even sit out there. Lunch on the patio today lasted a whole 5 minutes of melting.

Oh sure a cold front is coming in for a day. A lousy day of 75 and rain.
Then back to the 80's. It's April people.
Spring is 65 - 70. Lovely weather that is warm but not hot.
We call them Peggy days in my family. I have always loved 70 degrees.
I have a cousin who will always say to me, "oh it was a beautiful Peggy day"
And I know it was in the low 70's with low humidity.
Ah, now c'mon doesn't that sound really nice?

I was begging for spring. I was begging all winter. I wasn't begging for summer.
Someone got my order all wrong, all kinds of wrong.

Friday, April 5, 2013


Have you heard about this documentary?
I am hooked.
I can't wait to see this film.

I am a sucker for a documentary.
Rick and I watched a great one the other night on PBS called Eat, Fast Live about health.
Last evening we saw this story on the evening news.
We both looked at one another when it was over and said, "we have to see this!"

This was a horrific time of our history. I find the stories compelling and have since I was a young girl and introduced to the Diary of Ann Frank. I remember being in 6th grade when I read that book. I drove my mom crazy talking about it for weeks.  Looking back that makes me laugh because I am sure she was just sick of me bugging her about this. We had not learned a thing by that time in school about this topic. It was so riveting to me. Why was this happening to humans? How could they find reasons to laugh when everything was so bad? I kept driving her bonkers with my questions until one night after dinner while I was helping her dry dishes she said that it was time for me to read other books too. To read about a lot of different topics. I know now it was because she didn't have the answers. She didn't have anything more to add and I just couldn't understand the simple why?

If you watch this clip above notice how happy the people are who came out of that year and a half in a cave ended up being? Would you?
They see the positive. They are happy to be alive and free.They don't appear to be bitter.
Granted just a clip but you can see it in their faces can't you?
They don't seem to be whiners because they don't have new furniture or new clothes.
We all need to pay heed to that, certainly me included.

I am always amazed at how those who have had such difficulties remain so upbeat and CHOOSE to be happy. My father is one of those people. He drilled it into his kids. I certainly don't mean they don't feel pain, cry, worry, stress. But they overall are happy people who know there are struggles and deal with them and move on. No holding on to the ugly and using it as an excuse for their behavior.
Dad had a horrific childhood that could be a very depressing movie but when you meet him he is all smiles and he chooses to be happy. As he will tell you he has been blessed.
He never dwells on the bad stuff.

Why do you think the average person today does dwell on the bad stuff?
Why do they all think they are entitled to have everything they want when they want it?
The instant gratification is what everyone wants.
When did this switch occur and become acceptable behavior instead of the boorish obnoxious behavior it really is?

The men and women in this movie are people I would want to meet. To talk to. To listen to.
I find them to be a lost generation who gave their children everything they could and those children went on and have entitlement kids. Of course not all are that way but as a society the shift has turned.  

Bilbo, a fellow blogger who writes a lot about history and teaches me a great deal, I'd love to hear what he has to say on this topic.  You out there Bill?

So what do you all think? Do you see the shift? For the better or for the worse?

Thursday, April 4, 2013

As The Stomach Turns

The last couple of days my posts were in the queue to post each day and I was actually out of commission.  I didn't know that when I scheduled them but while you've been reading I've been hanging over the toilet bowl.

I got this horrific stomach flu that Rick brought home.
He was sick for a week. Thankfully it was just two days for me.
As of this morning Rick told me I no longer looked green.
I think that is a good sign. Unless you are Kermit no one looks that good in green.
I am not 100% at all yet but feeling oh so much better.

Boy this was awful.
Without giving you too many gory details I will say two things.
1. this is the lowest weight I have been since 1989.
2. I thought I was dying or had an internal bleeding issue.

While hanging my head over the porcelain God it was all black.
I freaked out.
Then when I told Rick he reminded me how I ate frozen blueberries the night before as a snack.
Whew Blueberries!  I'm not dying or hemorrhaging.
That made me chuckle that I was so freaked out about that.
I'm a ditz!

Thankfully due to Rick's severe case of this flu and having to go to the hospital he had medication to help the nausea. The medication really works when you can keep it down. However, it is like a tranquilizing gun hits you. Seriously knocks you out cold in mere minutes.  But for those hours of sleep you aren't hanging over the bowl which is a much better option.

Last night when I came to I wanted to eat everything. I was so hungry.
I thought that was a good sign that I was feeling better.
I hadn't eaten in two days, only juice and water. But nothing sounded good except dry toast and I didn't have any gluten free bread. So I had some broth.  Aaah boring but food- ish.

Rick was an excellent nurse. He even brought me flowers which I immediately made him take out of the room because the smell made me more nausea.  I'm a bad patient aren't I?

I can't even begin to tell you how good it is to be upright today.

I now see why women purge to lose weight.
I think it's a lousy way to do it but my goodness it sure works quickly. 
Me, on the other hand would prefer my hips be a little more round and get to keep down my food. I like food....a lot. And I really hate purging more than anything.
Guess that is why I look like I do isn't it?

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Cake and a Little Somethin' Somethin'

When I met my husband he told me he didn't care for sweets.
My first thought was, "Hey, great more for me!"

One of our early date type nights he asked if I wanted share a dessert.
Are you kidding me?
I said NO, I prefer my own dessert.
He laughed and said, "No woman has ever said that to me."
I asked him, "did you notice what I ate?  (salad, dressing on the side)
I prefer the dessert to the meal."

As the years have turned he has begun to enjoy something sweet.
Or as he recently referred to it as, "a little somethin' somethin' "

A few weeks ago after a nice dinner and a glass of wine he tells me he needs a little somethin' somethin'.  I turned around and said, "NOW? and since when do you talk like that?"
I assumed he meant sex. Oh silly old me.

He began to laugh so hard his face turned red when he realized what I was thinking.
He walked over to the kitchen sink where I was cleaning up the evening’s dinner and he hugged me. He said, "oh you are so funny woman. I swear you dye your hair blond."

ME?  What would anyone automatically think when they hear a little somethin' somethin'?
He clarified for me that what he meant was that he was looking for something sweet.
I again said, " ME? NOW?" .
I now knew full well what he meant but I had to be a ball buster.

"Oh funny woman. I meant sweet as in a piece of candy or cake or something like that."

He continued on about a cupcake or a piece of cake.
I said, " I have jello."
He said "No."
I asked, "Would you like me to make a quick cake like a box? I have one."

"Would you?"

I said, "Okay. I'll do it." 
Hey a box cake is easy peasy so what the hell.
I just hate having a cake around because  -
1. I can't have gluten and 2. it is my kryptonite.
Also because it will be hard and dry before it is ever finished.

So as I begin to make Mr. Man a cake.  I remembered I had this recipe for a 5 minute cake to make in a coffee mug. It is the equivalent of a nice size piece of cake.

I mention to him that if I can make him 1 piece of cake instead of a whole cake, "Would that work for you? "
He responded with a happy, "Damn, that would be perfect!"

So I put pulled out that old email copy of the recipe and made him the 5 minute cake.
I put cool-whip on top and handed it to him.
You would have thought he was given the other somethin' somethin'. 
He was such a happy camper and moaning so.
When he finished the cup of cake he said, "that was perfect. Just enough."

This past weekend we went grocery shopping.
Bringing Rick to the grocery store is always a mistake but I did it anyways.
As I was looking at my list he was putting in butterscotch morsels and peanut butter morsels in our cart.   I asked him if he was planning on making something.
He laughed and said "NO!"

"So why did you put those in the cart then?"

"Well, didn't you use chocolate chips in the mug cake recipe?"

"Yes I did."

"I thought you might want to try peanut butter or butterscotch with the cocoa this time."

"This time?"

"Maybe this time you can make it yourself Rick it's simple."

"Maybe I could but it tastes better when you make it Margaret?"

"How old are you for god's sake?"

"57".....and he says this so proudly which makes me laugh out loud.

"It's my birthday"

"It is not your birthday until May."

"Bcause you love me then?"

"Not right now Bucko"

"That's okay you'll love me again later" as he laughs.

Seriously this is our exact conversation in the grocery store.
Just another reason why my husband should never ever go to the store with me.

I printed the recipe this morning so he can make himself his 5 minute cake.
5 minutes total to mix up in the cup and bake it!! 

I think at age 57 he can make this himself don't you? (ok not for his birthday!)

Stay Tuned to see if he makes this.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

My Phone

My cell has gone bonkers.

It has begun doing things on it's own without me touching it.

The other day I hit the google icon and it just began downloading pages and then when it stopped it said it couldn't open any more pages. What the hell?
I couldn't make it stop and I could not shut it off. 
I had to pull the battery out to make it stop.

The back of my phone or battery gets so hot when you are holding it that you must drop it quickly. I am not playing games on my cell or doing anything that would make it be hot.
I answer the phone. I may text but not for hours for heaven's sake. It gets really really hot.
Rick asked to touch it when I said it was hot. He was being all macho like I was being a bit ole wussy. He gave me a look like, "It can't be that hot Margaret"
He grabbed the phone from me and immediately dropped it on the sofa and exclaimed, "My God that is hot!"

My screen also freezes and no matter what I tap nothing is moving.

With the exception of the heat issue all things can normally be calmed down by removing the battery and then reinserting the battery and turning it back on.
It works for all things with the exception of the heat issue. Then the phone just has to be turned off and allowed to cool.
I have begun having my phone turned off more than turned on of late.

I get texts that are bizarre too.
For example, on Easter a friend sent me a test wishing us a Happy Easter.
We were watching a movie and it went off. I picked up the phone and I read it aloud.
I sent back a quick text.
I put ithe phone back on the table and we resumed watching the movie.
It went off again. We paused the TV and it was the same exact message so I did not respond.
I set it back down on the table and as soon as we began to watch the movie it did it again.
Rick grabbed my phone and read it aloud and said, "Holy Shit she is really happy about Easter isn't she?"  I chuckled and explained to him again that I doubt she sent that more than once it is just my phone acting crazy again.

This had just happened a week or so ago when a neighbor wrote to tell me she sold her old house.   I was unaware of this new repeating issue with my phone at that time.
I too, thought she was just damn excited about selling her home because I got the text message 5 times.  So now apparently my phone will just repeat itself.

My phone can be upgraded for free April 5th and trust me I am counting down the days.
I love my phone but the last few months it has gone nuts.

I have also begun getting spam bullshit via text as well.
While that has nothing to do with my phone acting weird it is just an action I am not fond of at all.  What is worse than email spam? Text spam!!

This morning it was an odd text because it knew my hometown.
This person actually said he was missing our family in my hometown city.
I knew it wasn't a member of my family because I would have their number in my phone and it would say their name.
I played along I text back and asked who the hell they were?
"He" told me they were my cousin Todd. That made me laugh out loud.
When was the last time you heard of a Todd in an Italian family?  Never. 
Tony yes, Todd no.  Todd Soprano. Sounds right doesn't it?
So how are they getting this information?

I hate that people can find the time to annoy one another and steal.
If they are that smart why not invent something useful to the world?
Do something good for man kind. But harass me through text?
This person has too much time on their hands.
Can you guess who got blocked from my phone?
Yep, ole Todd got on my blacklist and was blocked from text and calls.
He won't be invited to family reunions either.
Take that Todd! 

Monday, April 1, 2013

Opening Day

Today is opening day for baseball.
My team is so battered and bruised the general manager is even wearing a cast on his leg and hobbling on crutches. We are in a sad state of affairs.
If I really think about it, I laugh because it's so funny, but I also could just cry.
Oh well it's just a game.
On Saturday they played Army at West Point.
West Point even added all the extra seating so that they could accommadate the extra fans they thought would be arriving.  Sadly we didn't win by much. (10-5)  So look out Navy.

The best part of working from home and or being self employed will be today.
I can watch the home opener on television and still be in my office...no one will yell at me.

We were supposed to go to see them play the Washington Nationals on Friday.
We had planned to take the day off, take the train into the city, see the game, go to dinner and even board Izzy so we could have a full day and not worry about hurrying home.
I still haven't seen the Nats stadium and for heaven's sake I live here.
Rick got sick. He had to go back to work to accommadate his customers so we couldn't take Friday off since he had already missed a couple of days due to the flu.

We are so pathetic we had fun just thinking about the opportunity to play hooky.
Maybe next year we'll actually get to do it.

My eyes are running, my nose is running, baseball has started.
It has to be spring right?