Not feeling like myself of late.
Kind of depressed....oh not the big dark place I lived in years ago when dark ugly thoughts entered my head.
No not that depressed, just off my game I guess you'd say.
In other randomness....
Tuesday I have to have a small little surgery on the inside of my bottom lip.
I have this cyst thingy that is getting bigger.
It didn't bother me but it's grown and now it is bothersome.
I feel it all the time and it is ugly!
The dentist said it must be removed. I will have it taken out at 8am on Tuesday and I am told I will have a fat lip for a few days. Great I have to talk on the phone for work. I imagine I will sound like a drunk.
Hell, maybe I should just get drunk and be done with it.
I feel like since I turned 50 all I do is go to the doctors. I don't much care for this.
Speaking of medical issues - they found something on my fathers spine .
His issue is much worse and larger than my little lip that is for sure.
I call my parents once or twice a week and have ever since I moved away 26 years ago.
Dad is funny, he always says hello and then hands the phone to my mom.
He can't chat on the phone. So my mother fills me in on the goings on.
I worry about them and like to keep abreast of all they're doing.
What my mother says and how she says it tells me a lot.
They are not always the same thing.
She has been telling me this summer that the great big Wal-Mart greeter known as my father has been going to his chiropractor for back pain.
Mom has the summers off (works in a school) so she told him that they should go to see his "real" doctor while she is off for the summer. Stubborn old coot known as my father said, "Oh no it's getting better and besides the chiropractor told me it would take a while."
Now my father thinks Wal-Mart won't survive without his 85 year old face at the front door.
So he goes to work in a great deal of pain. This man has a work ethic like no other.
Then it got so bad he was walking with a cane due to the pain of standing.
For God's sake call in sick George!
But no, the doors will close without him there and he would never ever even think to do that.
Mom is 2 weeks from going back to work at this point. Dad is now in so much pain he can't stand,walk or lay down without excruciating pain.
Mom insists he go see his regular doctor. The doctor insists on an MRI.
The doctor calls them the day after the MRI and says they found a "cyst" on his spine.
I asked mom how do you know it's a cyst and not a tumor or mass?
"well honey I don't know."
"Mom is it pressing on his nerve? could it be the bulging of a herniated disc? Did you ask the doctor any questions at all?"
"Oh no he knows what he is doing"
I swear to you all if the Pope or a Doctor told them to drink the Kool-Aid and put on their Nikes they would just blindly do this shit. They drive me bat shit crazy.
So my fathers doctor tells my parents that Dad needs to see a neurosurgeon and he recommends a doctor.
Mom calls the doctor and they can't get in until Sept 9th.
(at this point in time that is just over 2 friggin' weeks away)
Mom calls to keep me abreast of what is taking place up there.
I ask calmly even though I know the answer, "When you made the appointment did you tell them how much pain dad is in? I mean he's no longer going to work. That is a sign of how much pain he is in. He is taking drugs. We all know that means he is in excruciating pain. They may have tried harder to get him in sooner than 2 weeks from now if you had asked"
She tells me that "they know this Peg".
"How the hell do they know this if you didn't tell them?"
She does not mention this to them. She does not press them on this or tell them to call if a cancellation opens something up sooner for them. Nope she says nothing.
My parents believe a doctor's word is God like. They never ask questions they just do whatever they are told like sheep.
So now my mom is complaining that she will have to take off work because "my damn father" wouldn't go to the doctor this summer when she had time off.
Honestly I listen to my parents and I wonder, Will I be like this?
Will I get angry like this at Rick all the time?
Will I blindly do whatever anyone in authority tells me to do?"
Does this come with age? I sure as hell hope not.
My step mom is a great deal younger than my dad, 14 years I believe.
So she is pretty spry and a young 71 at that. Dad, not so much. He will be 86 in February.
They used to seem like the same age when Dad was 42 and they got married, but now not so much. You can see the age difference now a great deal.
Rick and I are only 9 months apart in age. He being older of course. :-)
So we will be deteriorating at the same time. Kid-less and deteriorating together.
Should be a helluva ride huh?