A dear neighbor has asked me to join this club and that club with her.
She is a wonderful friend. She is retired and a bit more than a decade older than me.
I enjoy these events however I am normally the only person that isn't retired.
I find these people old. Not my neighbor though. She is fun, kind and oh so smart.
But she has all the time in the world to travel and play. She is single and retired.
I enjoy her company, the others not so much.
The other women at these events feel like Grandma or my mother to me.
Their topics of conversation are old. They are frazzled and or frightened by everything.
Why is it that someone of 35-55 is more interesting to me?
I know, it's because I am immature.
I don't want to wear orthopedic or sensible shoes
I don't want to have a shampoo set
I don't want to only listen to elevator music
I don't want to eat dinner at 5p
I am not afraid of everything.
I am not into playing grandma games.
My idea of fun is the same as when I was younger. (I'm just slower)
I like a lot about being my age. Aging isn't one of them I admit.
But the rest is okay with me. Except I would rather not spend time with a lot of people I meet my age because they are so much older than me. Rick and I have decided we are just damn immature. Because what else could it be?
I can't imagine them dancing to Shook Me All Night Long in the kitchen with their hubbies like I did the other night. AC/DC would probably send them over the edge. But that is the music I grew up with. Why wouldn't I still like it? Why must I be sedate now that I am older? Why must I be a blue haired lady and wear sensible shoes? I don't want to dress like I'm 25 because that is all kinds of wrong. It's just that I'm not that kind of old yet.
Any one get what the hell I mean here?
I'd rather spend time with someone 35 than 55 most days.
The whining I hear from these old people is mind numbing and not even funny.
This woman went on about having to wait 10 minutes for a table.
10 minutes people. That isn't much time at a busy restaurant.
I said, "couldn't you just wait at the bar and have a glass of wine or your favorite beverage? When I've been there they have always been so nice and walk us to the bar area with tables etc and you can have a coffee if you don't drink"
"I shouldn't have to", she said in her bitchy sing songy voice.
I said, "ah, but they have great cocktails there. Their house margarita is out of this world as are their cappuccinos." She made a sour face and turned her back to me.
Okay then -Nice talkin' to ya lady!
I was asked to join a red hat club by another woman at this club event- although I would only be allowed to wear Pink because I am not old enough to wear the red hats just yet.
Dear Lord I will NEVER EVER join that crap even when I am old enough to wear the red hat. It's so incredibly queer, for lack of a better word, to me.
I don't want to play canasta or talk about grand kids for hours on end.
When I told her I wasn't the least bit interested she looked at me as though I had a 3rd eye.
She asked, "Really? You wouldn't? Well we do a lot of day trips and it's fun"
I said, "I work during the day so I wouldn't be able to join you."
But to be polite I continued conversation by asking, "What type of things do you ladies do and do you wear your hats all the time?"
She said, "Oh yes, you must wear your hat at all events."
I stifled laughter.
She then said, "We play bunco and we go to museums and we go antiquing"
Okay I don't know what the hell bunco is but I imagine this is like mahjong and canasta and all the other old lady games. And while Rick and I enjoy going to the museums in the district we have been known to cap the day off at a great place for lunch or dinner with a few cocktails. (God I'm sounding like a drunk here) But something tells me with these old biddies it wouldn't be fun.
So another woman I met, who I might add is my age, asked me to go to dinner Saturday night. Rick is playing poker so I thought okay.
When I met her at the fashion show she seemed normal.
Then I spoke to her on the phone. She too speaks "Whine"
We are meeting at a local place Saturday. She wants to eat at the early bird special time.
Oh brother. I tried talking her into at least an hour later and she said, "Oh no I can't eat that late I won't feel well" I wanted to eat at 7p it's not that late.
Oiy Vay I'm having dinner with my Grandmother.
She told me not to be late because she is uncomfortable being alone in public.
I said, "You are single you must go in public all the time don't you?
What do you mean exactly that you don't want to be alone in public."
She whined, "OMG I can't wait at a restaurant alone!!"
I asked if she ever went out to eat alone or the movies?
"Only a drive through and never ever a movie alone", she responded.
She asked me if I ever ate alone or went to movies alone..
OMG all the time I said. Sometimes going to the movie alone is best of all, don't have share popcorn, don't have to compromise on the movie you are going to.
When I traveled for work I went out to dinner alone all the time.
I met great and interesting people that way.
I told her the story of meeting this stranger in NYC and we went to a play together and all the exciting things that happened to us that evening.
She said in her whinny nasal-y voice, "Oh that would be too scary. I would not leave my hotel room alone in NYC."
I said nothing. What the hell do I say? You big wimp you?
Seriously if I were single I would do everything alone. I wouldn't be a hermit because I was alone. I'd be a hermit because I don't like people not because I am afraid to be out among them alone. What the hell kind of life would I have?
When I moved around in my career each city was new. I was always alone. I joined things and met people. How odd this all is to me.
So now I am having dinner with a weak spineless whiner.
I am counting down the hours.
Thank God the new restaurant is in my development so I can have a couple of drinks and if necessary walk home! I may have to turn on my record button on my phone so I have a transcript to come home and blog about.
She would die to know what we did at our house yesterday.
I made a bet with Rick last night when we saw Celine Dion on TV.
I was putting some alcohol away and I was holding the Cabo Wabo (tequila) when I said, "Hey, I bet she'll pound her chest."
He said, "I don't think she does that anymore."
"I'll bet ya - for each time she does it you have to have a shot of what I'm holding."
He looked over at me and saw the tequila and said, "You're on!"
She never hit her chest.
So I put it away.
I think these old biddies would be mortified of the old people in my house.