Wednesday, February 29, 2012

R.I.P. Davy Jones

I am a child of this era.
I grew up loving Davy Jones. (although Mickey Dolenz was my big crush)
I had to sneak watching The Monkees when I was 12 years old because my father thought it was "garbage" and besides his Gunsmoke was on.
This was before the age of TV's in every room so that everyone could watch their own shows.
Nope we had to watch TV as a family. And there was no way my father was going to let me watch those long hair hippies.

I loved The Monkees. I read Tiger Beat. They were on the covers for years!
I can still sing the theme song by heart. (okay that is a talent of mine. I can sing you most theme songs from the 60's and 70's...more on that later)
Here they are orginally back in the 60's.

So today when it was announced that Davy Jones of The Monkees had died from a heart attack it made me sad. I know you are all mourning Whitney. I didn't feel that. Sad as it was it didn't affect me one way or the other. Another celebrity, it's sad, move on.
This I feel. He was of my generation and we are dropping like flies. Oh sure he was older than me but its still my generation. And the mortality of it all bitch slaps you in the face.

I last saw him on Dr. Phil a little less than 1 year ago. I happened to be flipping channels one night when I had my ever present insomnia and Dr. Phil was being repeated locally. I saw he was on, so I stayed on the channel. He and his young wife were on. He looked great, he sang and sounded great too.
Several years ago when they began to make the rounds as an old act touring again. (probably because the money was running out) I met them.
They looked like this then.  (Nice mullets.)

I was working at the ticket counter of an airline at the time (very early 80's) and they came up to the ticket counter like any customer would. Now granted there was only 1 gate in this little town and it was before 9/11 so there wasn't a big deal on security.
I looked up and it was Mickey Dolenz. I turned into a 13 year old girl all over again.
I smiled like a big ole dufus and said, "Hey, You're Mickey Dolenz."
What a horses ass!  I wanted a trap door as soon as it came out of my mouth.
He so kindly said in a surprised tone, "oh my God I am!"  He then laughed and asked my name. (apparently unable to read my name tag)
They were all very nice and I tried to refrain from being a total giggling drooling 13 year old girl. Inside I was dying to scream and hug them.  Inside I remained cool (or so I thought) and checked their bags, gave their tickets and left them with, "so nice to meet you. I have enjoyed your music for years." 
OMG what a profound dope!!!!!!!!!  Who says that shit?!
The airport was abuzz and people were pointing and looking at them but no one came over to them.  And when I say people there were never tons of people.....think the terminal on the tv show Wings.

So that was my brush with Davey Jones and The Monkees.
I'm sad he passed away so young.  I feel so damn old.

Leap Day

I used to have a lot of magazine subscriptions but now the only one left is MORE magazine.
I used to love More, more than I do today.
I still very much enjoy this magazine but it's changed.

When they got a new editor it took a different turn.
It was subtle but it's just different today.
I am on a More board of sorts.
They send me a questionnaire about each and every page that I am to answer after each new month comes out.
I know it's different but I can't seem to pinpoint or articulate exactly where that left turn was made.
It continues to address issues, articles etc of woman 40+.
Of late the articles don't thrill me.
I wish I could figure out exactly where it all went wrong for me but I can't seem to do it.
I would prefer the old editor but I'm sure that is not in the cards.

The things I enjoy about this magazine is it isn't mommy centric, it's about the next chapter.
It's about women's issues that run the gamut. They can be about career changes, career moves, empty nest, relationships, friendships, political, books and the frivolous like clothes and makeup for the 40+ group.

I don't enjoy it as much as I used to but they did publish a post of mine and that was nice.
So then I have that guilt because I don't enjoy it as much and they were nice to play with me.
Do any of you read this magazine and have you noticed the slow shift in the magazine?

In other news......
It's Leap Day isn't it?  That means we get an extra day.
So if I have an extra day why must I do everything I do on regular days?
Why can't this be a day off?  A day to sleep. To do whatever you want to do.
To rejuvenate yourself.
Instead I am working on taxes today.
I don't think that is what anyone had in mind for an extra day.
Woo-hoo an extra day of stress!
Argh.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

School Shooting

Another school shooting.
What could be worse for a parent than to send your child to school and get that call that he/she has been shot and killed? An environment where you thought your child was safe.

I lived in an eastern suburb of Cleveland. I had a big territory of eastern and south eastern ohio. Chardon where the shooting took place was in my terriotory. 
I had to go there for 2 clients.  It's a small enclave. It was about 15 miles SE of my home.
It was a cute little place of probably no more than 5,000 people.
I enjoyed the fall there where they had a sugar maple festival. I went every year.
I'd watch them make maple syrup and of course buy maple sugar candy.
I would also buy a vat of maple syrup. I'd eat pancakes and waffles for weeks after. 
It was held in the town square. The place was right out of a Norman Rockwell postcard.
The colors of fall, the steeples, the town square. The whole thing.

I imagine that a small town like this doesn't have metal detectors at the front door to have the children walk through to enter their school. They probably thought they were safe.
We aren't safe anywhere today.  I imagine that will now change.
To think when I was in high school brass knuckles were the worst thing a kid brought to school. That is actually funny to me now.

I remember when my parents were all up in arms because kids were smoking pot.
The 70's were evil to them. I'd take pot smoking over today any day of the week.
At least with pot people are mellow, laughing and probably the worse violence that would happy would be to tip over a snack machine in the cafeteria to take care of their munchies.
And seriously someone smoking pot would be too lazy to do that anyway.

I am thankful I am not growing up now. The world is too violent for my liking.
My heart goes out to this town and the families.
All of these kids will never be the same.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Monday Mornin'

I'm draggin' today. Hence the creative title.

Here are some of the highlights of my boring weekend.

** Izzy turned 3 years old. She got to swim her little heart out for 1.5 hrs at the Middleburg equistrian and canine rehabilitation center. It was Labrador central yesterday and she had more fun than anyone should be allowed to have. So I think she had a nice birthday. In my next life I would like to come back as my dog. Spoiled and loved. What's not to want?

**I had one of my infamous "goofs" while I was trying to tell Rick this story.
 I reverted to my 7 year old self and lost all the R's in my vocabulary while saying a phrase.
I also had a bit of a stammer/stutter. Yes I went to speech class for 7 years for this as a child. I don't normally fall back to that unless drinking but for some reason stone cold sober I did it Saturday. My husband began to laugh and imitate me.  I pleaded, "Please stop mocking me Richard."  He responded with, "Oh Hon I'm not mocking you I'm making fun of you." 
Oh well then that is so much better then, how silly of me.  The ass.

**The Oscars were a snooze fest. Viola Davis was robbed!
And it all felt old and boring to me. And what the hell happened to Tom Cruise's face?
I do not like the man but his face was fine before.  Why????  It looked overly injected.
Oh please not another Bruce Jenner who looks more female now than male.
People our men are turning into woman physically and it's so all kinds of wrong. Listen up George Clooney,  don't you even think of injecting or cutting your face.
You look great with gray hair, facial lines and a face that moves!
Angelina Jolie had an interesting stance didn't she? How odd.
Seriously she needs to eat a cheeseburger.
My goodness her arms were like sticks I could snap like a dried twig.

I received an award.  yipee me!
While it is much appreciated I feel odd having to do what is necessary because I feel it will bore the hell out of all of you. Because seriously haven't I laid it all out here already?
But I will play nice because it was such a nice gesture from our Queen Bee.
So without further ado, 10 things you don't know about me.
(play along I know I've told you everything by now)
1. I HATE cats, okay it's really a fear, a big ass strange fear of them but dislike is in there.
2. I tried being hypnotized to help with this fear of cats. (didn't work)
3. I love a great sense of humor in anyone
4. Men with big hearts melt me.
5. My new favorite saying is "Bigotry wrapped in prayer is still bigotry"
6. Not a fan of organized religion. (see number 5)
7. I never regret anything I have done only things I didn't do.
8. Nurse Jackie is one of my all time favorite shows.
9. I love to paint, oh not landscapes, just your walls etc.
10. QVC is my bitch

Friday, February 24, 2012

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

It's finally here.

The signs are all here.
There are buds on the trees.
Kleenex strewn about our home.
Nasal spray on the coffee table.
You all know what that means right?
Spring.

Hubby is sneezing, wheezing, coughing and hacking.
Yep, it's spring time at my house.

The best part of Spring for me is simply this below....Spring Training has begun.














MLB Network is on around the clock and I am driving my hubby bat shit crazy.
I told him it was fair play because his coughing, hacking and nose blowing has been keeping me awake so we're even.  Seriously keeping me awake to the point of me going upstairs to another bedroom last night.

When single seats went on sale I attempted to get Washington National tickets vs. my NY Yankees in June.
They were hundreds of dollars a piece.
 I realize that all teams raise their prices when they play the Yankees because they can.
But it sucks non the less.
I would so love to have gone to these games but it is so out of the price that is feasible for me. And honestly, I am not sure I would spend that kind of money if not a world series game.
C'mon we figured after tickets for 2 at around $400 then parking and a few beers and food it would be a very expensive game. So I'll watch it on TV and be a tad bit sad that my team is in my own town and I still can't see them.  Sucks. I don't like my new life.
I know....whine, whine, whine.

We are also at the point where we are chomping at the bit to get down to the lake house.
Rick is itching to fish and I am itching to get the house open and ready for rental season and our own fun hopefully.  I know I've told you before but I hate renting our home out.
I couldn't hate it anymore but it's better than losing it I suppose.
I long for a day on the dock getting some vitamin D with a long island lemonade in my hand and staring at my neighbors across the way like this below.
Sounds good doesn't it?

I'm off to daydream now.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Cake, Wonderful Wonderful Cake.

There are 2 things I love in life.
We aren't talking my husband and dog.
That goes without saying.
I'm talking about my love of cake and of course chocolate.
Mix cake with chocolate and I'm a happy woman.

I love all kinds of cake.
I love coffee cake, dense moist cake, cupcakes, gooey butter cakes, bundt, angel food, German chocolate and on and on and on. I love cake!
I can eat cake 24/7. I never tire of cake.

From age 28-31 I lived with my sister Stephanie.
We both love chocolate and we both love cake.
I had the best of both worlds because I have a recipe of the most delicious decadent cake.
Hot Fudge Cake.
Hear that? Yes it's angels singing as I type those words. 
Aaah. Hot. Fudge. Cake.
Mmmmm.

When we lived together our cycles became in sync.
As we all know that can be dangerous.
We wanted chocolate and cake at the same time.
Made for a wonderful union.
I would make this one pan of heaven and we wouldn't even cut it.
We'd grab our spoons and sit it on the sofa between us and just devour it.
Sometimes we actually waited until it cooled.....but who we kidding, not often.
Sometimes we'd add ice cream.
Sometimes we were just gluttons in our sweats on the sofa eating this for dinner.
Dr. Oz would be so proud. Cake with ooey gooey fudge for dinner!

Oh those weeks were a chocolate, cake and chips fest for us.
I am not a chip gal but my sister was.
I was more of the cake and Oreos type of gal. 
I could put down a box of thin mints with a glass of milk in record time.
And I was thin.

Aging sucks because I don't get cake much anymore.
I eat it but then wear it on my hips. Not good.  I prefer to eat it and not wear it.
Same with my sister.
We long for those good ole cake days.
I've got a birthday coming up soon .
We all know that my favorite holiday is my birthday and I'm dieting right now.
Fuck.
I want cake.

I will have to wait until April because I am doing this diet until March 31st.
And since my birthday is 12 days away and I can't have cake I am dreaming of cake.
What ever happened to my sex dreams? Jeez. 
Does that mean I am really old? I'm dreaming of cake instead of sex.
What the hell?
Sex with cake is good, but I'm not having those dreams either damn it!

One year for my birthday my hubby bought me a cake from the famous Cake Love.
He used to have a show on the Food Network.
The cake was to die for. I mean to tell you it was a good heavy moist rich flavorful chocolate cake with a raspberry filling and a frosting that was a bit of a ganache but yet oh so creamy.
I found out he paid $50 for this cake. I about died.
Look I love cake, but $50 for cake is damn crazy!!
(back in the day when we had our corporate jobs obviously)
While the thought was so nice of him I asked him not to ever do that again.
Hell I like cheap cake too - it's cake!

Being gluten free now makes cake a thing of the past.
But I will eat it every once in awhile and deal with the bloating and pain.
Sometimes it's all worth it to me. 

I'm going up north for my step mom's 70th birthday in 3 weeks.
There will be cake. Big cake. 70th birthday kind of cake.
I know how cake is, the mean and nasty cake will be shouting " EAT ME!"
There will be liquor.
Lots of liquor.
Gin and wine will be crying things like "Peggy we miss you! come home to mamma!"

Anyone got any ear plugs to survive this party?

Monday, February 20, 2012

Damn Word Verification

We're all talking about it.
That damn new word verification.
Why the hell did they have to change this and make it even worse than before???

I have been spammed so much of late.
This damn Michelle chick keeps spamming me and it is foul and ridiculous.
Grow the hell up Michelle....or whoever you are.
You're a major twit!

I turned off my word verification last week for 24 hrs and I got all kinds of anonymous shit that was disgusting. So I turned it back on.
That's when good ole Michelle hit me.

So what's a blogger to do?
Annoy the shit out of my readers?
I know that one gal I read has changed her comments and if I leave a comment it uses my last name. I can't seem to change it either, I have tried. So now I don't comment.
Oh well.  Daphne, I'm still reading, just not commenting.

I am going to try to eliminate this again.
We'll see how it goes.
Because honestly this new verification is a royal pain in the ass.
You can't even read it let alone the pain in the ass factor.

If this were a website of mine instead of blogger I can eliminate IP addresses.
Can we do that on blogger?
If so anyone want to share?
Drop me an email and I will be forever grateful.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Friday Flashback

I have a crazy day ahead here in the ole office.
So I am being lazy and sharing a Flashback from 2009.

To all my new followers this isn't a repeat.
To my ole faithful.....sorry I'm swamped today.
See you on comments and I'll be fresh and new on Monday.
I promise.

http://straightupnochaser.blogspot.com/2009/11/may-i-have-vowel-please.html

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Post Script

Yes, they called me again.
The fighting couple called yesterday late afternoon because as Margie told me on the phone, "The dumb ass touched it while it was wet"

As she is sharing this information with me she is calling him every name in the book.
He then grabs the phone and apologizes to me.
He asks if Rick can come by and fix this.
She is yelling shit in the background and he is yelling into the phone at me so that he can speak over her loud voice.
My goodness these 2 are a Jerry Springer show.

How do you get to 75 yrs old and be this miserable in a relationship?
To me that would be so damn exhausting!
And talk about disrepect.
Rick would not live to a ripe old age if he spoke to me like this and vice versa.
But for some reason it does makes me laugh when not directed at me.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Nut Jobs

I know I have shared antics from our crazy customers before here.
These two are not only nuts but funny to both Rick and myself.

Several weeks ago an older man called me.
He was cute, he formally introduced himself to me before asking his questions.
He had a number of questions and we went over them all with in depth explanations about this remodel.  I explained to him how we are the last one on this type of job and why.
He referred to things he had read on our website and that always makes me happy because then by the time they talk to me they have a general idea and I can fill in the blanks.
He thanked me and asked what our lead time was and I explained 2 weeks.
He said he'd be calling me when the project was 2 weeks out.
I assumed that was the end of it until that time came when they were ready for us.

Oh my goodness. Later that day he called again.
This time his wife was screaming questions at him while he asked me things.
Now when I say screaming questions I am not using that term lightly.
I mean to tell you she was scream-ing.
At first I thought, oh they are older and perhaps he can not hear well.
But as I soon came to find out that was not the case.

As I was telling him the answer to his latest question she apparently had grabbed the phone and when I was done I expected him to say something but instead it was Margie.
She said to me that he was an idiot and she had to take over.
O.K. then.
I pictured this poor little man standing in the background with this crazy witch ruling the roost.
She asked the same questions as last time and the same one I just answered. I went over it all again and we ended by saying that they should call 2 weeks out in their project to get on our calendar. At this point in time they still were not sure when the rest of the work was going to be done.

I really thought that was the last time for awhile. Silly ole me.
Sadly this went on for a few weeks. Calling with questions, yelling to one another, grabbing the phone from one another and I'm left talking to God knows who.

Finally Terry, the husband, called me and made an appointment.
She was still yelling shit in the background and I heard one of her comments and I answered it to Terry. He laughed and thanked me. He then YELLED to her my answer.
I thought, "Gee you couldn't do that when you hung up?"

I made the appointment and wrote on the work order for Rick  - "Good Luck these people are loony tunes."  I didn't expel on this and I figured he wouldn't see it until he reviews everything before walking into the home.

Yesterday Rick was at their home doing the job.
When the job was done and he was heading home he text me the following:
OMG MARGARET THESE PEOPLE ARE CERTIFIABLY NUTS!!

I saw this and of course laughed.
I couldn't wait to hear his experience since mine was such a treat.
When he came home I asked how old he thought they were.
His guess was probably early to mid 70's.
As he was telling me this I was writing it down because I knew I wanted to share this with you all. I'm crazy like that.

He told me the following:
He was in their bathroom doing the work on their tile and tub and they were in another part of the house talking about a scene from a movie from the night before.
They were loud even when not screaming at one another and he could hear everything perfectly like they were in the room with him.

As the discussion about the movie goes on Terry yells at his wife, "DAMN IT MARGIE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT"

She screams, "THE SCENE WITH THE BOAT STRANDED ON THE BEACH."

Now Terry screams, "NOOOOOO, THE SCENE WITH THE BOAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN WITH PEOPLE OVERBOARD.

Margie yells back, "YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT.
THAT WAS 2 NIGHTS AGO.
YOU FELL ASLEEP DURING THE MOVIE LAST NIGHT!! YOU ASSHOLE!"

Terry yells, "SO YOU ARE TELLING ME WE WATCHED 2 MOVIES ABOUT A BOAT THAT WAS STRANDED?"

She responds at the top of her lungs with, " NO! YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!!"

Rick said at this point he assumed Terry went outside because he heard the door slam.
Margie was mumbling and Rick was laughing his ass off in their bathroom.

There were several episodes of screaming about small things like this that went on over the course of the 5 hours Rick was there.
They were swearing like sailors which Rick found amusing that these 2 old coots swore like this.  As he is telling me all of this I too am laughing. After just having to interact with them on the phone I can see this all playing out in my mind.

After the job was complete they discussed their other bathroom which Rick will be coming back to do after the new floor is installed.
As Rick was leaving he said he would be back in a few weeks.
Terry said to him, "We should still be here unless we kill each other before then."
Rick laughed and said to him, "As long as you guys have been married if you haven't killed each other by now you kids probably will make it."

That comment made both Terry and Margie laugh.
Rick got in his truck and immediatley text me
When he got home he said, "You won't believe these people Margaret!" 
I just laughed and said, "I think I would because they were nuts on the phone."

Dealing with people every day takes its toll on me.
Most aggravate the shit out of me and make me want to be anti-social.
But these kind of nuts at least make me laugh.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Let's Talk TV Shall We?

I have seen some interesting things of late that I would like to share.

There is a show on CMT called Crossroads.
I am not a big country music fan but I like this show.
They take rock icon's and add a country star and they do a one hour concert together.
The behind the scenes is interesting as well.
The latest Crossroads is with my man Steven Tyler and Carrie Underwood.
Walk This Way was interesting  with Carrie.
I saw Martina McBride with Pat Benatar on Crossroads and that one was kick ass.
Loved it!!

I also saw something on OWN that was fascinating to me.
Oprah did a 2 part series on Hasidic Jews.
She went to Brooklyn NY where the largest community of Hasidic Jews live.
It is a larger community that I thought.
It really develed into their lives.
She asked questions I was hoping she'd ask and the answers just blew me away.
Some extrememly personal about sex etc.
Why they live the way they do, how it relates to their culture and religion.
I found it utterly fascinating.
I had a lot of misinforamtion about this group of people.
This was so eye opening and really a lovely story.
One thing that made me giggle was when Oprah told them that the latest report was that children on average in America spend 7 hrs a day on technology that includes TV the 4 mom's all had their mouths drop open.
They kept looking at one another and said, "how can that be?"
Oprah explained, texting, video games, cell phones, computers and television.
The one woman said, "what about play time, reading, art/creativity, school work and music?
Oprah explained that children don't "play" anymore unless scheduled.
They found this so shocking and sad.
To see the look of sadness and shock on their faces was startling to me, yet all in perspective.
They have no outside information, no magazines, no tv, no internet, no radio etc.
They truly live a very small but very happy life it appeared.
Made one think after watching this.
There were times when they said things that I actually thought, "Oh wouldn't that be nice?"
If you don't watch this series on OWN I would suggest checking it out from time to time.
This is my kind of reality show.

Another show on OWN that I really like, well there are 2. 
One is Lisa Ling's show which is on hiatus now.
It's like a 60 minutes/Dateline type show.
Their is only 1 topic  for 1 hour and while it's news driven it's not sensationalize.
It's a very very smart show. It doesn't bend right or left.
It is factual and she's a damn good journalist. I highly recommend it.

The other show is Rosie.
It is on hiatus until Feb 27th so right now they are repeats. (7pm EDT)
It also is a 1 hour show one on one with someone.
Sometimes a celebrity, sometimes just an interesting human.
It's not a talk show like Ellen or anything of that genre.
The first one was with Kathy Griffin. It was a side of Kathy that was so raw and revealing. She talked about being bullied as a kid. Called names and even how kids would bark at her because they thought she was a "dog".  
How that to this day influences a lot of what she does. (plastic surgery)
The other celebrity that was good was Chelsea Handler.
Now I don't particularly like Chelsea. But I really saw a different side to her on this.
Rosie seems to get the celebrities to open up in a way you never see these people do.
Chelsea cried about her family issues, she was very open and honest and not as vulgar as she normally is.
Along the way Rosie will talk about something of her life that falls into the conversation and it always makes for an interesting show. My husband loves this show and that says something. It's not like he was some card carrying Rosie fan before.

And my last new show that I have been into is House of Lies.
It's not great but I can't stop watching it.
It's with Don Cheadle who I love. Kristin Bell, who I think is adorable.
And a few other actors who's names I don't know.
They are corporate managment consultants.
Which to me is a big word for bullshit artists who tell companies what they need to do to clean up their image after an issue etc.
It's on Showtime and it's on my DVR. Each week I think I don't care about this show yet I end up watching it and liking it and being curious about the following week.
Don't know that it will last for me but right now I'm diggin' it.

Now if only I could get a Nielson box and get paid for all the damn TV I watch in the winter.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Monday Morning Blue

Having Monday dulldrums here in my office today.

It is bitter cold here again today.  Just got back from a walk with Izzy. Brrrr......
Or as my husband so nicely puts it, "It's colder than a witches tit out there."
Ah, such class.
Thankfully this will pass after today or tomorrow and be back in the 50's where it belongs.

My weekend was weird and everything on my mind/list to accomplish was detoured for one reason or another.
I can't even tell you all the reasons why it was just an "off" weekend for me. 
I was off my game so to speak and I don't know why. Goofy cold weekend.

I am already sick to death of all the coverage on my radio and tv about Whitney Houston.
I watched some of the Grammy's. The first hour anyway. I thought Bruno Mars was great.
I loved Bonnie Raitt and Alicia Keys duet of Etta James music.
And I adore Adele.
I saw an interview where she was asked about her weight.
Adele said, "I'm a singer it doesn't affect what I do for a living, my job is not to be a supermodel."
That shut the interviewer up and you gotta love it. I love a broad!
And a broad with cogliones with these great pipes is awesome.

My step daughter is being nice and I am suspect. 25 yrs of never being nice.
I don't want to be suspect but it's disconcerting.  I pray this is real. 
She even invited us to Ohio for Easter. You could have knocked Rick over with a feather.
I had to tell him to close his mouth. That kind of shock. We'll see.

I need more coffee.....I wish I weren't dieting so I could add something yummy in it.
Yes I mean liquor. Hey, don't judge me.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

In My Room

You're all too young to know that title was the name of a Beach Boy Song aren't you?

When I was a young girl I used to spend hours in my bedroom with Seventeen magazines looking for the newest hairstyles and clothes. My room was my santuary away from my sisters.
I was the lucky kid with my own room. There had to be some perks for being the oldest.
Trust me there were only 2 that I can think of. I got the clothes first so no hand me downs.
And I got my own room when I was 12. So for only 2 perks those were 2 good ones.

I would spend many a cold and snowy winter Saturday in my room at my makeup table looking into my makeup mirror. I would lay out the Seventeen magazine and look at the models makeup and try different things with my Yardley makeup while staring into my Clairol lighted make up mirror.
Anyone remember these?






I would spend my cold snowy Saturday trying new hairstyles, new makeup, new remedies for conditioning like maynonaise or how to iron my hair correctly. Yes, we used a real iron.
Not one of these -


But one of these -






My mother had a fit when she saw how much mayonaise I used on my hair.
I wrapped my hair in saran wrap just like the magazine told me and put a towel around that.
 It took me forever to get all that out of my hair. It was awful. My hair is fine.
 I have a lot of hair but it's fine hair so you women know what fine hair and all that mayonaise was like.... A grease pit.
So there was my mother who was livid that I used all this mayo and then there was me feeling so stupid because it didn't condition my hair or ends, it just was gross and greasy!

All these memories came back to me yesterday while I was using my bathroom mirror.
This mirror is used for my makeup too. Only difference is it is a 10x mirror.
It's the only way now that I can see my face to put on makeup.
I've come a long way since my Clairol make up mirror to a 10x magnified mirror to see every damn imperfection. I also don't iron my hair  just my clothes.
I don't put mayo in my hair but on my husbands sandwiches.
And I don't read Seventeen Magazine.
More like AARP magazine now, who's new cover is Sharon Stone.
With stories inside of AARP members Sheryl Crow and Jon Bon Jovi.
God we're all old now.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Shiny Objects

I had this boss for a short while that was a true stereotype.

She was blonde and dumb as shit.
The regional team was all sitting around a conference table listening to her talk when all of a sudden she stopped in mid-sentence and looked around the room, she then focused on a corner of the wall. We all looked at one another like, What the hell is she doing now?
We all looked to that corner and saw nothing but she was staring like time had stopped.
She was staring like she was seeing it for the first time.
I leaned to my co-worker next to me said, “I think she’s just easily distracted by shiny objects.”
Which of course made us both chuckle.

This crazy woman never said, “Sorry I just saw XYZ" or acknowledged that she just stopped mid-sentence. It seemed like forever as we all just looked at one another and tried not to laugh out loud. She shook her head and then went on to a completely different topic while we all tried to stifle our the giggles.
She did this a lot. She was certifiably nuts.

She had very little knowledge of our industry or in anything to do with our business.
For the life of all of her team we could not figure out how she got the job.
The simplest of things were so over her head that we figured she had to have known someone, blown someone or they were easily distracted by her big blonde hair and big ole boobs. She was as dumb as a box of rocks. I have never met anyone this simple and in such a high position. She definitely was distracted by shiny objects.

The reason I tell you that is my C.A.D. (crazy ass dog) does the same thing as that ole bimbo boss. She is going along and then boom – a squirrel, a cat, a car.
She can stop going to the bathroom mid stream if something grabs her attention.
She was pooping and I am standing there waiting for her to finish so that I can scoop it up (my favorite job) and I see IT go back UP. Huh?
I look up and sure enough it’s a squirrel. Can’t poop if a squirrel is near by and off she goes.
The squirrel ran up the tree looking down at the crazy dog and Izzy is going in circles.
Okay so she isn’t as smart as Lassie. I’ll give you that one.
Squirrels seem to be her shiny objects of late.

I won the lottery – a whooping $6.00.
I was hoping for the millions so from now on when I hope for a win I think I need to be more specific on what I am asking for.
While it’s nice to win $6 it doesn’t buy much more than a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.
I also don’t think they will take that big winning at the mortgage company…..unless I can distract them with shiny objects or squirrels.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Mrs.

I had a customer today who kept saying her name was Mrs. Roberts.
She left me a voicemail while I was on the phone with a customer and asked me to call Mrs. Roberts. (she was at home so to me that was odd)
She referred to herself as Mrs. Roberts several times during our conversation and when I asked for her name for the warranty she said Mrs. Roberts.
I would never question her about this but I find it so damn odd that she would use Mrs. in place of her actual name. She and I spoke on the phone at various times today and she also emailed me and signed everything Mrs. Roberts.

Do you refer to yourself as Mrs. Anything?
I never have. In fact it never occurs to me to do such a thing so perhaps that is why it jumps out at me the way that it does.
I use my first name when I introduce myself to another adult.

Now granted had I had children I imagine I would call myself that to their friends.
But I don’t have children.
So I think I would never introduce myself to adults as Mrs.(Insert name)
I would use my first name.

While I know to some of you it’s confusing because I go by 3 of them but I would normally introduce myself as Peggy. (good friends, husband and some family call me Margaret)

What do you say when you call a company or doctors office to make an appointment?
Let’s say your name is Sally Smith.
Do you say, “Hello this is Mrs. Smith or do you say,” hello this is Sally Smith”
Do you call yourself Mrs. if you are female and married all the time?

For some reason I find it rather comical.
I thought only old ladies did this.
Old ladies who dreamt of being a Mrs.
I never did that either. So this whole thing is lost on me.
But I’m an old lady now and I don’t do this nor do my friends my age.
This woman would be around early 60’s from my guess.
She told me about how excited she was having just taken early retirement.
That isn’t that old for Pete’s sake.
Same age as Meryl Streep was what I kept thinking.

So c’mon tell me what you call yourself?

Spring are you there? ....it's me Margaret

It's that time of year that I begin to long for living the life of my blog header above.
Yep that is me in a row boat.....okay I don't have a row boat but I have a boat and you get the picture. I want the sun, the sand and the relaxation. Most of all I want the warmth.
I am really ready for spring. Crocus's are up but it's freezing cold.
My tulips have there little green tips peaking out of the ground too.
But it's still cold and I am longing for less clothes and warmer weather.

I watched more of the Super Bowl than I ever had in my life.
Not a full quarter if you add up all the times I flipped over to watch it.
But more than normally done at our house and we seemed to always catch it at the right time.
The right catch, the right touchdown etc.
All I know is that anytime a NY team can beat a Boston team I am happy even though I hate football.
Kelly Clarkson rocked the Anthem! No mistakes there. Way to go Kelly.
I can't remember anyone doing that song so well in a long time.
And it appeared to NOT be lip synching like Madonna.

I did want to see the halftime show. YAWN.
That is what I thought about it.
I have never been a Madonna fan so I imagine if you like her ilk you'd like this.
I find her boring and talentless. (let the mean comments begin)
Anyway I got happy when I saw Cee-Lo but he was a minor character in her show.

My favorite reality show was following the Super Bowl, The Voice.
To me it would be perfect if Christina A. wasn't a judge.
While Christina can sing, I mean really sing, it's just that she's so narcisstically annoying.
The woman who did the Beatles song "Oh Darling" slayed me.
Loved her voice. But there were others who were great as well.
The other 3 judges are great. 
Who knew I'd fall in love little Adam Levine?
Wow!!
Here are a couple of ones I enjoyed last night. Tell me what you think.


Friday, February 3, 2012

Food Police

I loath the Food Police.
We all get what we are to do but Americans obviously don't want to because we are fatter than ever.

They've made Paula Deen Satan.
They act so high and mighty.
Now they want to regulate sugar as a toxin.

Look our parents and grandparents were thin and ate this stuff.
But they died younger. They weren't told what food was to be eaten in moderation or to be aware of the problems that could arise. They also moved more than we do today.

But I think there were other differences with the older generation.
They grew up eating real food. No chemicals and fake food.
Rick and I know very few people who eat real food.
Hell I don't even use microwave popcorn because it is loaded with junk.
I remember having someone over for dinner and they asked if I really made that mac 'n cheese from scratch. No blue boxes at my house but if you want to eat from them I don't care. I am not going to police anyone about their food.

It all comes down to moderation.
I think if you have a butter laden dish by Paula Deen every once in awhile it will not kill you.
If you eat like that all the time, it surely will.
How dumb must one be to think you eat like that all the time?
I have made some desserts by Paula for parties and such.
Always a big hit. No one ate the whole thing. A piece. Yummo!
But you can't eat a stick of butter a day or you will be in an early grave.
So why make her be Satan? She's not making you eat like this every damn day.

I watch a lot of Food Network TV and I find recipes and make them my own.
Cooking isn't like baking. It is not an exact science. 
These are ideas and you can make them meat free or eat them as they show them.
These are ideas like the ones on HGTV.
I don't always like the designers finished projects but I always learn a trick or two or tweak it to make it my own.

So the food police want to make it so that sugar can be a regulated toxin. 
Doesn't every adult know by now that eating a large amount of sugar isn't good for you?
Haven't we all heard over and over again how spiking your glycemic levels is a big cause of weight gain? And don't we all know that obesity brings on a plethora of illnesses?

I personally will eat sugar any day over the chemical of Aspartame.
Have any of you ever read this stuff?   Or this?
It will make you think twice about aspartame.
But if you want to injest it go for it. I will not police you or point it out to you.

Rick was having a lot of the side effects from aspartame and he had to do a detox.
It was scary. But once he got it out of his system he no longer had headaches or any of the other issues. He now drinks real coke only, made in Mexico no less, with real sugar.
It tastes a lot like the coke we know from being kids. Less sweet and actually better.
He now just drinks less of them.

I have never been a pop drinker (or soda if you call it that) just not my thing not for any reason other than I just don't like it unless I had a hang over.
For some reason a pepsi or coke the morning after always be what the doctor ordered.

So I don't drink anything with sugar unless I am having a Cabernet Sauvignon or in the summer I do love my Kool aid.  But if I did drink pop that would just make me use some common sense and drink less. Same with kool-aid.  These are just my personal feelings.
If you want to drink aspartame - go for it.
I am not the police and that's my point!
I will never come to your home or eat out with you and point out that I wouldn't do it that way.
It's your life, your choice, and who the hell am I to change your mind?

Now do we really need the government to tell us what we can and can't eat?
Parents feed their kids junk all day long. Chicken nuggets, blue boxes of mac and cheese.
I don't know people who actually make meals anymore that aren't out of a box.
(I know a time thing)
I also don't know parents who give their children milk either.
It's always sugar laden juice or pop.
I find that sad but again it's their life.
I am not the police.

So if adult people want to eat junk. Let 'em.
If adult people want to feed their kids junk, let 'em.
If adult people want to be vegan's, go for it.
If adult people want to smoke cigarettes, let 'em.
By God there comes a point when people need to be adults and take responsibility for themselves.

We have all been told and told again how to eat and be healthy.
If we chose not to do it who's fault is it but our own?

So if I want to have some butter - bug off.
If I want to eat red meat - bug off.
I will not eat fat free this or that because it is loaded with chemicals.
My own doctor has told me time and time again she would prefer I eat real food in moderation.

Having said all that I want the food police to leave me the hell alone.
If I am going to put real butter on my real popcorn don't say anything.
And if you do, don't you dare ask me for a taste of mine 'cause I will not share with the food police.

I have gone to dinner with people who say things like, "Are you really going to eat that?"
I generally just smile and say, "Yup, want some?"
And the last time this happened it was from a person who left the table while we were drinking wine after dinner to have a smoke. 
See?.....Food police drive me crazy!

Mange!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I Love This Man

I read today about a newly discovered letter from a freed former slave to his onetime master that has recently been found and causing a stir.
Letters of Note explains that in August of 1865, a Colonel P.H. Anderson of Big Spring, Tennessee wrote to his former slave Jourdan Anderson, requesting that Jourdan return to work on his farm. (the coliognes on that "master" huh?!)

Since escaping slavery it stated that Anderson had become emancipated, moved to Ohio where he found work that he was paid for doing and was now supporting his family.
This letter was dictated because he was unable to read or write.
Here is his letter.

I found the letter to be both fascinating, funny and thought provoking.
I doubt his former master gave him the back wages he mentions in the letter.
But it made me smile that he was strong enough to ask & he asked it so well.
I  now love Jourdon Anderson!