Random Items

I'm in an odd mood today.
I am sick and that surely doesn't help much.
I don't normally get sick or the flu.
I just deal with allergy issues.
But I started going to the gym - germs galore and people, lots of people.
I imagine that is how I got sick since normally I don't see a lot of people due to working from home and only walking my dog.
Damn gym, another reason one shouldn't go.
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This weekend was 24/7 of the tragedy in Connecticut.
We just couldn't take it anymore.
It's all so big, sad and heart breaking.
Sunday morning Rick and I were in tears and he said, "Why are we watching this? I don't need to cry in the morning!"
We turned on some happy music to get away from it all.
I can't fathom the pain these families are dealing with this.
They can't get away from it all.
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We had 2 pay per view certificates from Dish Network so we ordered a movie last night.
Thankfully this was free because the movie really sucked.
We heard from everyone who saw it how funny it was.
Grown up people who's opinions we respected.
It wasn't funny or well written.
The only time we laughed was the ending updates over the credits.
We kept saying, what is wrong with us? Why don't we find this funny when everyone else did?  Why do we always like movies no one else does?  Why did we want to punch Mark Wahlberg and that accent out of his mouth?
So tell me did you see Ted? Did you like it? What the hell did I miss?
Mila Kunis sure is gorgeous though isn't she?  I get why all the men are ga-ga over her.
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I start a photography class in late January.
I have always wanted to learn to take good pictures. I take horrific photos.
I admit I was very intimated about doing this but it has been growing louder and louder for me to do this over the last 2 years. I wouldn't admit it to anyone because honestly I thought I was nuts to think about doing this. And of course the cost factor.

Then I said it out loud to Rick. He thought it would be a great idea.
I was still not convinced.
Rick will support any half assed idea I have.
I can't rely on him to be objective and I know that.

The next day I got a book in the mail listing all the adult classes in the county I live in.
I was flipping through the book and saw knitting and thought, gee that would be fun to get into again. I haven't made anything in a really long time. Then right across from the knitting was beginner photography. Hmmm....it was at a school close by in the evenings.
One day a week for 2 hrs.  (Jan - April) Not much money was needed for the class at all.
I've spent more on wine.  But I couldn't make myself do it.  Fear.
It always comes down to fear doesn't it?
I have shown no talent for this what so ever - hell I have no talents what so ever.
I have just had a bug up my ass for 2 yrs about doing it.
Don't know why I was just drawn to it.
Rick has been saying to me since the day I met him, "What would you do if you took fear out of the equation?"  I know he's right but this time it was the money issue more than even the fear.  Or was I using that excuse?  

I folded over the page and left the book on the coffee table for a week.
Then as I was dusting off the table I read it again. Could I do this?
The last line of the course description said to bring your own camera.
Well I don't have one except a point and shoot and they want you to bring a DSLR.
So the class is cheap, cheap, cheap but buying a camera will not be.
So I dusted the table and put that book back on top of my stack of magazines.
For some odd reason I couldn't bring myself to toss this into the recycle bin just yet.

For a week Rick kept asking me if I signed up for the class.
I kept telling him the cost of a camera was way more than we could afford.
He kept telling me to spend the money for all the work I did on the house sale and the finances etc of this last year of juggling and taking care of everything for him. 
I tried to keep the stress off Rick and handle it all myself.
"Please treat yourself for all the hard work you did alone. You deserve this" he would say.
 Yes, I did do it all but I did it for us.
He didn't have time, nor the fortitude to deal with all the minutia.
Add to the fact that he would have told this buyer to go to hell with all the pickyune (sp?)shit.  I had to do it. Besides the stress would have sent him over the edge.
But that doesn't mean I should be spending money on a camera I don't need.

So Rick went to Best Buy and bought me a camera that was $200 less than normal if purchased by a certain day. He told me it was an early present.
I said, "We don't do Christmas presents!"
He said, "then it's a thank you and a birthday present. Margaret just say thank you."
Oh I thanked him (wink wink)
I have now signed up for classes.
We'll see how this goes.
As of right now I can't figure out much on this camera.
I finally got it turned on and took a few pictures.
How do I get them to my computer I still don't know.

The new camera makes me feel incredibly stupid.
Took me 2 days to figure out how to turn it on and take photos.
Sadly that is no exaggeration.
I hope I have a grasp before I get to class.
I realize this is a beginner class and not a special needs class.
I will at least need to know how to turn the damn thing on.
I don't worry about feeling stupid in class or any of that stuff.
I worry about never grasping this after Rick paid for a nice camera.
Not looking good right now since I can't figure out many of these buttons.
The manual is Greek to me.....I need to learn Greek quickly.