Monday, November 30, 2009

I'm baaack

I'm groggy and out of sorts today.
It's Monday.
It's Monday after a very long time off.

Going to the lake house was great.
No land line and you can turn off the cell phones.
No computer....left it at home.
But oh so difficult to get back in the rhythm of things today.

It was just the dog and us. It was wonderful.
It took us 3 hours longer to get there due to holiday traffic. I don't deal well with traffic.
I don't have a boat load of patience to begin with and add traffic and I'm bonkers.

We pulled into the driveway and I immediately saw a tree that had fallen down onto our fence and deck from our neighbors empty lot next to us . The tree broke the fence, lay across the driveway and some of the top was over the porch deck. Welcome home Margaret!

But that was nothing compared to trying to get the dog to stop wanting to go swimming.
Se was an absolute spaz.

We unpacked. We got all the food into the empty fridge. We got into our pj's and poured ourselves a glass of wine. The dog was antsy. She kept pacing. She sat by the doors onto the back deck overlooking the water. She knew where she was at. She wanted to be outside and not in the yard but in the water. She would stare out it the back door to the water. Then she began to whimper.....like Please let me swim, please let me swim. So we all went onto the deck with her. Thinking that may help. Noooooo.

The deck wraps around the whole house. We closed off the sides so she could only stay on the back deck and not get down to the water at 10pm at night. She stuck her head through the railing and stared at the water....longingly. It was so funny to me but at the same time a bit sad.
There I am in my super big & 5 inches too long PJ's next to her in the pic. (yea, I'm short!)

She wimpered awhile longer and I wished that I could reason with her but there was no reasoning with a dog.

Come morning she wanted nothing more than to swim. Rick took her down to the dock. The water was only 57 degrees. Brrr......

see that brown dot? it's the dog swimming/retrieving a stick
taken from up at the house

She did not care and swam until Rick's throwing arm couldn't take it anymore.
She swam all weekend.
She was happy as could be.

He and I on the other hand were lazy! Incredibly lazy. We drank wine, ate and watched movies.
We did PPV. We had 3 that we thought looked good - we were looking for upbeat and funny since our life hasn't been like that a lot lately. We decided to go with the 1 that was 3 stars. I really wanted to see the one that was 1 star but I realized even if my boyfriend was in it I would probably be better off with the 3 star movie. WRONG.

We watched Funny People first. Now you would think with a title like that it would be funny.
Oh no it's not. Not even good. So much for 3 stars. The next evening Rick suggested we watch the 1 star because if we hated the 3 star why not just do the opposite of what we think we should do. Okay let's give that a try. So we bought The Ugly Truth. Now I would not say this was a work of art, by any means. I wouldn't even say it was great. But it was far better than Funny People....and my boyfriend Gerard Butler was in it. C'mon that gets an extra star right there for me. We at least laughed during this movie vs. the first one.

All in all the weekend was nice. Calm. No talk of bills, business and other things that cause us stress these days. I need to find my Zen like my dog Izzy. I wish I could be that happy right now just staring at the water. When people used to tell me that they would like to come back as their dog I would laugh. Now I think I get it.
















Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful I don't have to eat turkey!... ick!


I am thankful that I will be doing a lot of this!

and this....



I am thankful for all the blessing in my life. And I know I have many.

But if "you" could give me a smaller waist & a large lottery wind fall

I sure wouldn't complain.

Have a wonderful holiday & see you all soon.

My C.A.D

.... Crazy Ass Dog, is nuts, strange, goofy.... all of the above.
So now you have figured the right owners have her for sure huh?.

She has a thing for delivery people, especially men in shorts. It started as a pup and the UPS man would come to our home. She just would stare out the window at him and his truck. Then on her walks no matter what she was doing and I mean no matter what!.....she would stop, yep stop that too….to stare at the delivery men. I would crack up laughing. God forbid she be disturbed or distracted while it’s time to poo. She is truly a Crazy Ass Dog.

As she got older she loved sitting on my neighbors stoop. We would walk and on our way back to our house she would stop at our neighbors stoop and sit at the bottom of the last step. She would sit there all regal and just want to watch people go by. So I began to sit on the bottom step and she would sit between my legs and we would watch the world go by together for awhile.
She won’t ever sit on our stoop. I assume it’s because she doesn’t have as good a view.
Our neighbor is on the corner – Izzy can see everything from there. Even those bunnies she loves to chase on the grassy knoll across the street from this corner house.

One day as we sat there and watched the world go by the neighbors across the street had new appliances being delivered. Izzy thought she hit the jackpot because there were 3 men in shorts unloading this truck. She sat straight as could be and just stared at them. Never barked. (she rarely barks it’s odd) The guys across the street looked at her coming out of the house and they asked how old she was and other niceties. They thought it was funny that she just was staring so intently. As soon as they left she was ready to go home.

I tried to tell her to play hard to get but she is having none of that. She was sure acting easy. She will stare them down until they play with her, come over and love on her or both.

Last week on her afternoon walk the Fed Ex man pulled his truck over to the curb and parked to get in the back and rearrange boxes. He was back there for the longest time making all kinds of noises….but you couldn’t see him, you could just hear him and boxes being strewn about. She stopped dead in her tracks and had to watch him. I couldn’t get her to budge. This time she didn’t sit. She just stared. I don’t get it. She doesn’t get excited, she doesn’t bark. She only stares. What is her fascination with delivery men and trucks?
As soon as he got back up front and drove away she was ready to continue her walk.

Rick thinks it’s really me that has the hang up with men in shorts and I am using Izzy as a cover. But I don’t need no stinkin’ cover!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Blog Negativity

I read a good deal of blogs. Mostly women.
Funny, poignant, warm and interesting sister friends in my blog world.

But I am beginning to notice something weird happening.

Nasy comments and too many of my blogger friends having to defend themselves.

I have read some blogs where I thought the person was full of shit.
I thought what was said was either mean or so off the mark.
But you know what?...it's their friggin' blog so they can say, write, express, whatever the hell they want to. If you don't like it - don't go back. Or better yet, ignore it. It could just be one area where you don't agree for pete's sake. Don't you have friends that disagree with you on a topic in your life?

Pretty simple concept don't you think? You don't need to reprimand them or leave negative remarks. Walk away and make an adult decision that this may not be someone you want to play with.

It's like TV, you don't like what is on this channel, then change it!
Real simple people.

I have been reading this one blog for a few years. It was well written, extremely funny and sometimes down right sad. I felt badly for this person a lot of the times. But I never left comments there because I really had nothing to say that could add to her journey. Sometimes I felt that reading her blog was like a train wreck, you know you should look away but you can't. Some days her stories would haunt me for a long time.

We all have a "feel" of someone when reading their blogs for any length of time and this young woman seemed a bit tortured, very warm, loving, incredibly honest, hurt and very loved. People would leave her such horrific & mean comments and they would hurt her deeply. It appeared she wrote to let out her story for her comfort and her growth. I would read how she would try to explain herself to them after they would talk such smack to her. Why? Let those people go or better yet don't give them a forum to spew their toxic shit.

So finally she has had it. She closed down the blog. Apparently not to everyone though if you go to her site it will either let you in or it won't. It states that if you were not redirected then she doesn't want you back and you can contact her and she will make that decision.

Now I never left her comments so I know that I wasn't rejected for being a mean one. I assume because I only read her she doesn't know I exsist. Since I have no way of reaching her I can't ask to continue reading.

But my point of all of this is that I am saddened by how it can get so ugly.
Not surprised but saddened. Especially disappointed.

We are all different. We can choose to get along or move along.
I have had to move along a lot of times. No need to get nasty. No need to change someones mind. Move along and let the toxic people all play together.

And if you wish to leave me a nasty comment - go ahead you won't be the first one. No one is going to see it anyways and besides if you're little brain needs to make someone else feel badly in order for you to feel better about yourself then go for it you little shit. I'm a big girl and can take it.

Friday, November 20, 2009

....Tee Hee

T.G.I.F.

Everyone is in an uproar on the "new" guideline for cervical & mammogram tests and rightly so.

The new guidelines state that you can skip a year for a pap smear. You don't need to have a mammogram until you hit 50! They may consider you before you are 50 if there is extensive family history. But you and I both know that will flag your health care provider and you'll be lucky if anything is covered!

I have a friend who is in her early 40's who had a mammogram and they found non hodgkin lymphoma. Imagine that surprise. That was earlier this year. Her mammogram saved her life because it was caught so early.

I have another friend that had her annual mammogram and she too is in her very early 40's. They found a small tumor. Thankfully she didn't need chemo but she did have to have it removed and some radiation I believe as well as a host of other protocols. Both women have had a slow and steady continued progress.....thankfully.

And didn't Fran Drescher have cervical cancer in her early 40's? It took her years to get doctors to even do the tests because she was "too young"

We, as a country do not take care of our elderly, our children and our people period.
Oh we worry about who can or can't get married and the rights of those who can own guns, we worry about telling people what they can and can't do in the privacy of their homes, who can smoke & where. But if you mention taking care of our society in any way people scream hell no.
For the life of me I don't get it. It's so short sighted.

Not allowing these test to be covered until one is old will kill a lot of young people. A lot of young mothers will die and for what good reason? Oh sure it will save insurance companies billions of dollars and isn't that what we are all about now? The corporate jet the big house and cars and trips? Making money and greed for CEO's and big insurance lobbiest and companies is the American way.

My mom died from what started as breast cancer at the age of 44. I always feared I too would have an early death. I found a lump on my breast that was new and large which came out of nowhere when I was 31 years old. I had to fight like hell to get a mammogram. The doctors wanted me to wait for a year and see if it changed. I was livid given my history. So instead of stage 1 perhaps we'll wait until you're stage 3? Is that common sense? More treatment, more money for me and my insurance to pay out?

My insurance did not cover it so I paid for it myself. I was even lectured by the man doing the mammography that I was awfully young to be having a mammogram. Honestly if it were his nuts with a newly discovered lump I would like to see how he would feel if they told him to wait a year!
I had no intention of losing my breast because of some stupid insurance adjuster sitting in a cubicle making life decisions for me given my family history.

Thankfully it was nothing. I still have that "lump" that was nothing to fret about.
I am thankful for that. When I passed age 44 I let out a sigh of relief knowing that I already have lived longer than my mom got to. Her sister died from breast cancer as well. So I get my annual squishing of the boobs every year on my birthday. This year I missed my birthday so I am going next week. I am sure I will be fine but it will be nice to know that for sure.

I hope this gets young women in a uproar because it should. Young children will be left without their moms and partners without their loved ones. And needlessly don't you think?

Yea, it sucks to get your boobs squished annually but it's a small price to pay to be alive to see your children grow, to grow old with your partner, and to live a long productive life.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Random Ramblings

Am I the only one who doesn't give a rats ass about vampires and tween angst?
Am I the only one who thinks that this English Pattinson boy needs his hair washed and a shower? Yea, it seems that way.
I guess this is yet another sign of being old cause I sure as hell don't get this not even a little tiny bit.

I also don't get the people who buy Sarah Palin's book. God I couldn't give her my money!
She is scary to me in a whole lot of ways. Dick Cheney scary only dumber.....which can be even scarier if you think about it.
I tivo Oprah but deleted the episode with her without watching it. It would have only angered me and why do that. Beisdes Oprah doesn't ask good questions anymore and I would have been shouting at the television.

And speaking of Oprah. What the hell is going on with her show? It stinks anymore.
Karaoke contest? Really it's come to that? I am seeing signs that it is time for her to change directions or move on if that is the best adult topic they can come up with. Wow.
Apparently it is a very slow news day in America. wink, wink.

Do you realize how hard it is to get a dog to diet? Oh my this has been the most difficult thing ever. For 2 weeks Izzy has been a pyscho since not having as much food. She actually brought her food bowl up to the 2nd floor to bring it to me as I was in my office. She dropped the bowl at my feet and then sat there looking at me with those sad puppy eyes. Then a couple days later she sat in front of the pantry door and every time I would look at her she would tilt her head towards the door where her food is kept. That made me laugh out loud but honestly it was sad. She then began to circle for her tail - constantly. She was acting weird. I finally couldn't handle it and gave in and gave her the food. She is back to normal now but I think she is getting a bit over weight and she is only 8 months old.

I called the vet and the vet assistant told me that since she has been spayed she shouldn't be on puppy food anymore. Gee that might have been a good thing to share with us when we picked her up!! She told me that puppy food is high in fat and for growing dogs. She is no longer growing because she has been spayed so we should slowly more her to dog food for a leaner dog.
So we will be trying that and see what happens. I thought dieting for myself was tough - HA!

Friday, November 13, 2009

May I have a vowel please?

I always wanted to be tall, blonde and flat chested.
I figured my life would be so easy if I had all of those things.
I also thought it would be wonderful to be a WASP.
I wanted a last name like Smith or Jones. I wanted to eat fried chicken and meatloaf.
To me that was like Leave it To Beaver, The Brady Bunch and all the other shows on TV whose names did not end in a vowel.

I grew up in a loud Italian American Family.
My friends and play mates growing up were my cousins and that to me was normal.
My fathers parents were from Italy and my dad was the youngest and he was fortunate enough to be born here in America. My mom’s parents were Italian as well and my mom was born in America. I had no chance in hell of being tall, blonde and flat chested. Sigh!

Sundays were always the same. After Mass there were the big family dinners. Pasta of course. Only we didn’t call it pasta. My family called it spaghetti or macaroni. Unless it was ravioli’s or gnocchi or some such thing. My dad’s brother, my Uncle Angelo, and his wife lived with their 5 children and my dad’s Mom. They would come over on Sunday’s or we would go there on Sundays. Either way it was always so much fun! Afull day of food, laughter, playing and fun.

It was a fabulous way to grow up. I loved all my cousins and I so looked forward to the weekends when we were at Uncle Angelo’s or they were at our home. It normally ended up being the whole family of Uncle’s and Aunts, and cousins. There were a lot of people in a small house by today’s standards and lots of kids. You know those crazy Italian Catholics and birth control.

We moved to the suburbs when I started school. I still was ensconced in my extended family. The only time I ever felt different in grade school was when a kid asked to trade sandwiches. I usually had Genoa Salami or Prosciutto or Capocollo. For some crazy reason my mother felt that peanut butter and jelly was not a proper sandwich of nutition. Which is hysterical really since these luncheon meats she fed us were so much fat. But anyway this kid looked at my sandwich on hard crusty Italian Bread and looked at the meat and said, “what is this?” as he gave it back to me. (it was Capocollo and provolone) I really wanted his PB & J but he wouldn’t trade so I ate my sandwich and didn’t think much of it at all until junior high.

Living out in the suburbs was a whole lot different than living in the city with the rest of my extended family. This exposed me to all the wasps. I never knew people who’s last name didn’t end in a vowel. I suddenly realized my family was different….really different. Short, dark, loud, funny, talked with their hands and were very very expressive.

My father was a master plumber. He owned his own business. He was successful and I never wanted for anything. But living in the suburbs I realized I didn’t have a lot of stuff and certainly wasn’t spoiled in comparison to my school mates..
I was in school with doctor’s kids, and executives and CEO’s children. I didn’t have name brand clothes or expensive cars. Our home was big compared to my relatives in the city but by suburb standards it was on the smaller size.

I began to notice all the differences and I was embarrassed. When I went over to someone’s home after school it was different than mine in little ways. After school they ate Oreo’s and I ate homemade pizzelles or biscotti. They would ask what they were and smell them and say, No thanks. I begged my mom to buy Oreo's.

The last straw for me was when I went to friends home after school to work on a school project. The week before she had come to my home as we started the project. I was to eat dinner with she and her family as she did the week before with mine. Her father was the CEO of Hammermill Paper. I didn’t know what a CEO was back then.

When we came home from school there was a woman ironing in her house and I knew that wasn’t her mom so I asked her who that was. She said she was a housekeeper. WOW……That was my first and only thought....WOW. Then she told me her mom was playing tennis and would be home later. Okay stop right there. My mom never played tennis in her life, she was our housekeeper and what kind of world is this? I suddenly felt very self conscious as you do when you are a young kid in junior high.

By the time dinner rolled around and their 7 kids and myself went to the dinner table I was completely overwhelmed at everything at their home. The size, all the nice things, the housekeeper, the tennis outfit her mom showed up in and then her father who sat at the table in a suit and tie. That was Sunday Mass clothes to me. My dad came home in “work clothes” Got cleaned up and then sat down in a clean shirt and slacks but never a suit and tie during the week. For some reason that too was intimidating to me.

We all sat down at this big wooden dining room table with a spinning lazy susan in the middle of it. I had never seen anything like this table. Again I thought they must be rich! We all said grace and then their lazy susan began to spin as 7 kids and 14 hands were grabbing at bowls like it was feeding time at the zoo.

My mother would have been horrified if I did that so I sat there like “a lady” as my mom would say and waited. My friends Dad speaks up and welcomes me and says, “Peggy your dad came out to fix our furnace this past Christmas Eve, he was such a nice man. We couldn’t find anyone to help us. He was a God send. He was so jovial and wonderful and it really made our Christmas.”

I am now completely and utterly embarrassed. Instead of being proud of my father with the wonderful words this man has just bestowed on him I wanted to crawl under the table. I remember that call on Christmas Eve when we were all so upset that Daddy had to go out to fix some family’s furnace. I remember him telling us that he couldn’t let a family not have heat on Christmas. He hugged us all as he left in his Santa hat. ( I later learned he didn’t charge extra for a holiday rate - he just told them Merry Christmas)

So my friend speaks up and says, “You wouldn’t believe the stuff we eat when I go to Peggy’s house. I can’t even pronounce the stuff we ate last week’
Honest to God I was praying for a trapped door under my seat. Now all eyes are on me.
My Friend’s Mom asks, “What ever did you have dear?”

Oh. My. God. Please take me away from here. Please. I couldn’t even look up from my plate, which gave me anxiety because I knew my mom would be mortified that I did not look someone in the eye when speaking to them….but I just couldn’t.

I mutter that we had braciole and rigatonis. (I left out the antipasto & daddy’s homemade wine) To me that isn’t exotic for heaven’s sake. Oh, but they have to ask for me to speak up so I look at them and try to act as though this embarrassment isn’t killing me and say, “We just had braciole and rigatoni’s”
All together now, “WHAT IS THAT?” I so wanted to cry. I think my friends parent’s picked up on that and had the kids shut up. They both just said it sounded wonderful and asked how our school project was coming along. I was so thankful they changed the subject.

I went home that night and cried to my parents. Why did my father have to do work for my friends family? Why can’t we have meatloaf like normal people? Why do we have to be so different? I ran to my room telling them I didn’t want to be Italian anymore and cried. My parents were hurt. They didn’t understand. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be blonde and be named Susie and eat meatloaf. I just wanted to grow up and eat macaroni and cheese from a blue box and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like “normal people” what's not to understand?

I’m now grown up and I would give anything for my Mom’s braciole, her homemade biscotti or her homemade pasta that she made without a machine I might add. I now cherish that upbringing as crazy and loud as it all was.

Mangia!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

In a Funk

It's cold, wet, dreary and just plain shitty around these parts today.
Money is tight and baseball season is over.
I'm in a Funk.

Someone sent me this link (http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays) and I have to tell you this guy's father cracks me up.

Apparently this 29 year old writer wanna be had to move back home with his father.
His father says some funny things - never meaning to be funny mind you- but this kid thinks they are hysterical and he is correct.....and he writes them all down verbatim.

He then started a Twitter account and he writes them daily.
I was sent the link and haven't been able to stop reading them ever since.
Some make me laugh out loud. I can hear my father saying the same things!
Especially the 1 about the kids new phone.

Now this kid got so much attention for this that CBS announced that they'd signed him to write a family sitcom based on the Tweets. The series will be overseen by "Will & Grace" creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick. He's in the money$$$$$

To think all the dumb ass things my parents have been saying over the years that I could be making a fortune and not having these financial headaches right now.

How dumb am I?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Some Life From The Past 7 Days

Here is our gal Izzy lying on the floor looking like she's drunk from a bowl of candy.
We were so worried she would be difficult as the trick or treaters came up to the door.
This being her first Halloween and all. As you can see she was thrilled.

It was warm so we pulled up a chair and sat at the door with the door opened. She sat and watched a few and then just laid down and fell asleep. The real little ones got a real kick out of it. The older kids asked if she was okay. I think they thought she was hurt or dead. Some asked if she was real. I guess they thought that was our scary Halloween bit - a dead dog in the foyer. That made us giggle. We even tried to get her to move but then she started snoring so we figured the kids would realize it was a real live breathing snoring dog.

This is our gal who can't let a delivery man or truck allow her to move. She will stop dead in her tracks if there is a delivery truck near by. She will stop and stare until they leave. She does not move, bark or annoy. She will just watch. She will watch the men like they are food. It's funny. This one just pulled over to the side - got in the back of the truck and moved boxes around and made a ton of noise. She just stared. He got back up front and drove away. Then, and only then, could we continue on our walk.

I've been up since 2:30a.m. It was a long, stressful, and ultimately good night/morning.
NINE (9) Long Years I have waited for this.... I love these guys!
2009 World Series Winners.




Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Part II

Rick walked into her home and she greeted him like a little kid.
She was jumping up and down and as he described it…..she is off her rocker and I couldn’t figure out why she was doing this. He still has no explanation of that behavior. (It just makes me laugh)

She told him that she will be downstairs if you need anything, anything at all. Just call me or come downstairs. He told her this repair wouldn’t take long and he went to work.
Because he does not mix chemicals in a customers home he does a lot of going in and out of their homes to his van to mix the chemicals.

Every time he went out the door she was standing at the side of the door when he came in with a barrage of questions. Do you need anything? Do you want a cup of coffee? Pop? Can I make you lunch? To all of these questions he said, “No thank you Diane I just need to work so I can make my next appointment on time.” (like that would make her back off)

He goes to work and as he is kneeling in front of the tub he turns around to get something out of his box of tools & she is standing there. Stealth Diane he called her.
It startled him and he asked her to leave because she should not be in the room when the chemicals are sprayed. To which she stated it didn’t matter she didn’t mind the smell.
He told her it mattered to him, so you will have to leave the room now. She said, “Gosh you are so kind.” How he doesn’t laugh I don’t know but then again being scared may have something to do with it. He closed the door and locked it.

He went in and out a couple more times to his truck for things and for mixing. She was always at the side of the door when he returned. Just out of sight enough so you couldn't see her when you opened the door at first. He said he actually had goose bumps he was so creped out.

When the job was completed he gave her the invoice and she held the check. She kept her hands over her mouth and acted as though she was horrified. He asked if it looked okay. She said it was wonderful, "You are such an artist".... and then she said, "Working with you has been shear joy." Shear Joy??? Oh c’mon who the hell says that to their contractor I ask you? Try to read that sentence and not laugh your ass off.

He said he literally grabbed the check from her hand since it didn't appear that she was going to fork it over. At that point he said he didn't care about being professional and then he ran out of there before she could try to hug or touch him. He called me from the truck and told me he does not ever want to go back there and if she calls please, please, please tell her we have no room on the schedule….EVER.

So last night when he went into the bathroom to pee I quietly walked in behind him and startled the shit out of him and I said, “You are such an artist when you pee and watching you gives me shear joy!”

Oooh, how that made him jump.
He didn’t find that funny AT ALL....Bad Wife.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

My Favorite Expression

Two weeks ago I had a woman call our office for our services. Rick did the job and she wrote me an email saying that he did a fabulous job and thanked us again for getting she and her husband on the schedule so quickly (had a cancellation) and then all these niceties.

Now I don’t get those (niceties) often so you would think I would just love them and not complain. But something about this woman was a bit creepy. I thanked her and thought that was the end of it.

Then she wrote to me on Thursday and asked if she could speak to Rick.
I said he wasn’t in the office but I could help her.
She said, “No I need to speak with him.”
I told her I would page him and have him give her a call when he was able.

Now remember I do not tell people that I am Rick’s wife. They think I am just an employee who works here. I even go by my maiden name here. So keep that in mind.

Rick called her and then Rick calls me from the field to tell me that she is psycho and he thinks she is divorcing because she kept saying she wants this job done before her husband gets home and “that everything has changed in my life in the last two weeks”

He asked me if I could fit her in somewhere so he could drop by and see what needs done and get her on the schedule. "Why the hell couldn’t she just ask you Margaret? “
“Cause I think she’s hot for you “and we both laughed having no idea really.

I told him that his schedule looked like he could swing by there Friday afternoon in between appointments to see what is involved and if it’s as small as you say it sounds you may be able to do the job on Tuesday afternoon. So he told me that when she calls see if that will work for her. "I am not talking to her again - please deal with her for me okay?"

She did indeed call me immediately after I hung up with Rick.
I squeezed her in for the estimate on Friday as Rick and I talked about.
She was thankful I could do this on such short notice.
She thanked me over and over again and then went on a tirade about her hubby, complete with crying. Apparently he just came home one day and told her he didn’t want to be married anymore. She was surprised. He then left the next morning for California for a week. She got a realtor and she is trying to get the home ready to sell. It’s her dream home and yada yada yada…..whimper, whimper, whimper. TMI to me.

She said her husband is cheap and wouldn’t do all these things to fix up the house and she wanted them done before he came home to avoid him bitching a fit. She said he would complain to have to do it but if he doesn’t know it’s been done all the better.
I wanted to scream – I REALLY DON’T CARE LADY..
But I just muttered, Mmm, yes, etc.

Now on Friday Rick goes to do the estimate and then she calls me immediately upon his departure. (in the mean time Rick gets in his truck and tries to call me and gets voicemail because I’m on the phone with her!)

She wanted to book this ASAP and it must be before the dreaded hubby comes home from California. Then she went on this whole tangent on how wonderful Rick is. He is so sweet and handsome. His wife is so lucky. I wonder if she knows how lucky she is to have such a wonderful man in her life. He seems to be such a warm person and he is so good and kind that I know he will be rewarded. (Okay I am stifling a huge laugh here and it’s killing me!)


She then said, “I asked him for a hug and I think I scared him a bit and I just went for it.”
Now I am thinking, do I tell this nut job that I am his wife or what do I do?
I say nothing.
She repeats that he sure is sweet and cute. Okay already I get it!
I book the job for Tuesday – today.

Rick in the mean time has left me a voicemail while I’m on the phone with her to tell me to call him as soon as I get off the phone. I do.
He said, "OH MY GOD this woman is nuts. She started to cry and I put my hand on her shoulders which I know I shouldn’t have and she went in for a hug. I was standing there with my pen and invoices and my tools and I didn’t put my arms around her just stood there with my hands full. She is telling me stuff like I could give a shit. it was so odd and awkward you have no idea.....she's creepy man"

I am now laughing at him.

"I need a shower Margaret this isn’t funny."

He asked, “You know the worst part?”

“That you’re married?”

"No, Margaret that she is gross. Why don’t good looking young ladies do this to me?"

That is what you think is the worse part? Oh brother Rick.... What is wrong with her?"

"She’s been ridden hard and put away wet ya know?"

Ah, there it is…the expression that I had never heard of until I met him and it never fails to make me giggle.

“And she’s old.”

“What are you calling old, old man?”

"Well 60 is my guess.....maybe late 50’s but looks terrible. She has black hair that is like Elvira.
Not a shade found in nature you know? A smoker so her face is all crinkly. And no big boobs like Elvira or curves– she's just a scary homely stick!"

"Okay so what you’re telling me is if she was 25-40 and good looking I would have a reason to be worried."

"Well Bubbaloo…..not worried exactly….and he trails off like I won’t notice."

"Ah, laugh now funny boy she could be dangerous!"

"I know and that is what I'm worried about. I'm telling you she gives me the creeps and it's not becuase she is not nice looking but because she is just creepy."

So today he is at her house working on her master bath.
I called him and he sounded odd. It went like this…..

"Is she standing right there with you in the bathroom as you work?"

"Oh Yes, that’s right I can probably do it on this Saturday."

"Do I have to worry about finding rabbits or my dog boiling in my pot on the stove?"

"You may! I will call you when I leave here and head to the next job and we can figure the schedule as well as the proper top coat?"

"Sure, you’re making me laugh you know, like I’m a stranger."

"Yes,I know but I believe the low VOC top coat will have a lesser warranty."

"Are you scared?"

"A little bit. I’ll talk with you soon and we can discuss it then."

So blogger friends I’ll let you know what happened tomorrow.
I can’t wait until he leaves her house I know he will be calling me immediately.