Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Hey Women - Enjoy this holiday story!

This cracks me up! Yep, it's long but so worth it.
Listen to the PA system in the background while the men are in the "dog house" the subliminal messages make me laugh my ass off. I hope you enjoy too.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Oprah's press announcement

So Oprah is fat and that deserves a press announcement.

I read the following, "I'm mad at myself," Winfrey writes in an article provided early to The Associated Press by Harpo Productions

Now here is what gets me about this sentence above.
“An article provided early to the AP by Harpo Productions.”

So Oprah sent this out as a press release before it appeared in her magazine for what reason?
Generate more people to buy her magazine?
To just share with the world that she’s fat in case any of us hadn’t noticed?
To take the heat off the rest of us for the holidays?
To tell us more stupid and misinformed thyroid information?

Why pray tell would you do this?

I am guessing it’s to sell magazines because magazines are closing across the board and she can’t afford to have her magazine fold. She may have to sell a home, a rolls royce or worse only be worth 1 billion.

She is Teflon. Nothing sticks to this woman.
Don’t get me wrong I like Oprah.
I tivo Oprah.
But between this weight thing and her thyroid I want to smack her upside the head.
Her information is so inaccurate and harmful to most of us with a thyroid issue that when she speaks about it my head could explode.
The day she had on some nut job Dr. telling women that the reason this is more frequent in women is because it’s near your throat and women tend to “hold in” their voices and not express what they really feel. If they didn't do this they would be free of thryoid disease.

OMG! People believe this shit. It's great if you are timid and don't say what's on your mind and it makes you say whats on your mind. But by God if you are sick you can't possibly believe that is the only reason.

Case in point....I am not that person! Do I seem like someone who holds it inside? I vent, I rant, I bitch, I write. So then why does my thyroid not function properly? PLEEEEASE!!!!! Who believes this shit?

No one dares corrects her because God forbid, she’ is the all powerful Oprah.
Even Dr. Oz has sat there like a dope when she states the most inaccurate thyroid information. The last time that happened I threw things at my television smacking her upside the head.
The Yankees could only wish for my accurate arm!

Now don’t get me wrong. I do believe in a mind/body connection so don’t write me an email telling me I am not being open minded. I do believe that holding in your feelings can make you sick but I don’t think that is the only reason your thyroid stops functioning properly.

I don’t think I have ever watched a tv show and was so angry before in my life. But if that so called Dr. was correct then I should be cured. If you doubt me ask my husband. I think he can verify that I have not “held in” my voice AND I am not cured.

I know for a fact that a woman who has written several very successful books on thyroid health and who is a leading advocate in DC for thyroid health and information has requested to be on her show to be heard. But she never gets to be on the show. Because then Oprah would see that her info is so wrong and she would actually have to believe that “holding in your voice” isn’t the cause of an “unbalanced” thyroid as she calls it. She would actually have to do the work and it’s not easy and it sucks.

Also I read in the same article that she claims having an “unbalanced” thyroid made her fearful to exercise” And this is smart woman huh? Or is this an excuse like, “the dog ate my homework.” I’m thinking the latter. What does one have to do with the other? It's not like your thryoid doesn't let your feet onto a treadmill or a pilates machine? Last I looked I could still fit my fat ass into my sweats and work out - I just didn't want to. I did not use my thryoid as an excuse to not exercise......I have tons more excuses better than that!

Well now that I got that off my chest I imagine I will be able to stop taking my thyroid medication forever because I did not hold it in. And I will be a skinny bitch in the new year.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy

or in other words, Hummina, Hummina, Hummina!

If you have ever read this blog you know I LOVE Gerard Butler.
I love the romantic comedy genre and here we are again with the 2 of 'em ........


Okay I have to go take a cold shower now.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Holiday Shopping

I don't like to shop. Never have.....probably never will.
I don't get how my sisters or friends can spend hours just browsing at clothing and trying things on.
The idea of undressing and dressing again makes me want to scream.
I love clothes but I just want to have them magically appear in my closet.
That is why I love catalogs.

Which brings me to the holidays.
I have talked to ya'll about the peer pressure to decorate elaborately around here.
Well don't tell anyone that you don't like to shop let alone do not shop on Black Friday.
Honestly if I did that they would officially kick me out of the neighborhood or as my husband says take away my female card.

I am not only the heathen who hates to decorate the outside of her house to look like a cheap amusement park but I also apparently hate to help the economy with her early morning attendance running a sprint into a damn store. Why can't these people walk into the store?
I don't understand the behavior.

Honestly the need to run anywhere at my age is just plain unnecessary. If I walk into the store at 5 or 6am isn't that enough? Will it really make a difference if I run and pull a hamstring or worse yet, tobble an old person to the ground? (said old person could even be me!)
Will I really miss all the items that are loaded on the shelves? I think not. I can walk and I will walk at a decent hour. I am not going to be there at 5 or 6 am or sit overnight in a parking lot. Have these people no lives? I bet these are the same people who sit in line for a month or more before the opening of a Star Wars movie aren't they? The damn nerds.

So you've now got me running and shopping. Ooh two of my favorite things all in one.
I did not help the economy by purchasing items in person. But I sure as hell helped the economy today on cyber Monday. I am now all but 2 items away from being done shopping.
I didn't even have to break a sweat! (or get dressed!)
It doesn't get any better than that. And all with free shipping!
And for all the procrastinators you'll probably spend less because they will have more inventory left and the prices will be really cut. So take that all you nut jobs who ran like hell to get there at the wee hours of the morning. You lost money!

Now if only the liquor store would deliver.....what a great season it could be!