Thursday, October 16, 2008

Tall, Gorgeous, Thin and Rich

I've been noticing that if something is said enough times people begin to believe it no matter how far fetched it may be.

I am tall, gorgeous, thin and rich I have noticed that with all the talk of a recession, which should not be news to anyone, American's are in a panic. I am tall, gorgeous, thin and rich.
The housing market has been in the toilet for over a year. A year ago the job market took a nose down - at least where I live. But no one was saying the word, recession. When a pundit did, it was poo-poo'd. I am tall, gorgeous, thin and rich. But now it's being repeated ad nauseum so everyone has closed their purses strings so to speak and stopped spending money. This only makes matters worse....but no one has told them that so they are clueless. I am tall, gorgeous, thin and rich.

The day discussions began with a bail out our phones stopped ringing all together. The day before we were busy as all get out. Nothing has changed except that people were told to wake & smell the roses. I am tall, gorgeous, thin and rich. In essence people were told how to think. We crazy American's were too self involved to notice things were not great a long time ago. If they heard it randomly before then they just told that person they were nuts.

So that you won't be confused later in life it's important that you know that I am tall, gorgeous, thin and Pass it on!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Mad Men.....and Women

I am hopelessly addicted to Mad Men.
I love the nostalgia, the clothes, the era. I am always in such surprise yet delight in the fact that they get even the smallest of detail spot on of 1962. It's a hoot in so many ways.

Last night had me going a bit nuts. What the hell is Don Draper doing? And Peggy, my God she's wound so tight man, when she blows - look out. How funny was that scene with her getting her hair cut from Kirk? I mean really, what a stereotype.....but funny as hell none the less.

Okay are there any other addicts besides me out there? This show is too good not to be watching is all I can say!!

I have these love/hate feelings for Don Draper/Dick Whitman -who ever the hell he is.
It reminds me of Tony Soprano. You hate him for the dispicable things he does to people and to Carmela but there is something about him that you love. Same goes for Don Draper.....only he's pretty too. hummina, hummina, hummina.

Friday, October 10, 2008


I love  Halloween.
I may be a Grinch at Christmas but I am a lover of Halloween.
Today, I just love opening the door and seeing the little ones in their costumes and all that goes along with it.

I have great memories of halloween as a child. 
I have great memories of halloween parties as an adult. 
One of my favorite costume as an adult was a party we were to attend as a famous couple.
Everyone we knew were choosing celebrity couples. We went a different direction instead as a cartoon couple. We were Fred and Wilma Flintsone. 
It was such fun to see who was walking in the door as what couple.
But that was the last halloween party I enjoyed.

I was living in the suburbs of Cleveland Ohio at the time for my career.
I was dating my husband who lived exactly 2 hrs east along I-90 in PA.
He called and told me about a big Halloween party his friends were having on Friday night the 30th. He asked me to come into town and go to this party on Friday night with him.
I explained that I would be in Houston on business and not getting back until at least 5pm if the flight was on time. I wasn’t sure I could get home and repack, put on a costume and be there in time.

I looked at the calendar and said to Rick, “Gee Halloween is on Saturday, are you sure the party is on Friday night and not Saturday?”
He said he was sure they told him Friday. But I didn’t stop. I begged him to call his friends and be sure about the date and then let me know and I’d see what I could do.

I had a plan but honestly this was not going to be easy for me.
I thought I’d have to hurry out and get a costume before I left for my trip, which honestly I didn't have time for. I planned to have my bag packed with my costume and leave it in my car parked at the airport to avoid going home after the airport. Then as soon as I landed I’d drive to his place and change there and off we’d go…..maybe being just a bit late. It just was too close for my comfort.

He called me 2 days later to let me know that he called his friends about the party.
What he neglected to tell me at that time was that his friends were not home.
Their teenage son answered the phone and Rick asked a 14 yr old if his parent’s party was for Friday night?
The kid says, “yeah”
Now we all know a 14 yr old, a boy to boot, has no clue of what is going on in his parents life.
He barely listens to his parents. So he may have heard that a party was going to take place but you can't rely on a 14 yr old boy for the details of such things. For that matter you can't depend on a grown ass man to give you details.....But apprarently that point was lost on Rick.

So I buy my costume now at the last minute with barely any choices to choose from.
I pack my car with an extra suitcase. One for my trip to Houston for business and the other for my trip to Rick’s place for a Halloween party. Flying back to Cleveland my plane is 20 minutes late getting me home. I run through the airport like I'm on fire. I get to the parking garage and drive like a crazy woman across Interstate 90 and make it to Rick’s home in 80 minutes. (that was my record!)

We put on our costumes. I am a nun and he is a priest/monk. We look good. We have a good laugh about the unholy things we'll be doing later and take a few pictures of ourselves and off we go to the party.
As we drive over to the party Rick is telling me about his friends notorious Halloween parties, the dry ice, the costumes, the fun and craziness. I say, “I can’t believe a few hours ago I was in Houston and now we’re actually going to be on time.”
I was so frenzied that I was now feeling like I could finally exhale.
I couldn't wait to have a drink and see all that he was telling me because it sounded like fun.

We pulled up to the house and it is very dark.
Rick tells me it’s dark because of the party and again he goes into stories about how the lights are out and the wild and elaborate decorations this couple goes to for their parties.
We are sitting across the street from the house and I mention that I don’t see a lot of cars. So we agree to sit here and wait a bit so we aren’t the first couple inside.
We waited for 20 more minutes and no one was showing up.
I am having a very bad feeling which I share with Rick but he is poo-poo-ing me as we sit and wait......and wait.

After what seemed like a long time Rick suggests we go inside.  Rick knocks on the door.
We are both just standing on their porch with our costumes on the day before halloween waiting for someone to answer the door. But no one answers the door.
Rick knocks and rings the bell again. Finally someone comes to the door.
It’s Trish, his friend’s wife. She looks groggy. She sees Rick and it takes her a minute to realize what she is looking at and then begins to laugh hysterically.
Rick says, “did you guys cancel the party and not call me?”
Trish tries to speak but is laughing so hard she can’t get anything out.

Apparently Trish’s husband took her sons to a football game and she fell asleep on the couch. We woke her up. She finally gains her composure and says to Rick, “oh my God you ass! Rick, the party is tomorrow, tomorrow is Halloween you big goof ball not today. Why don’t you come in anyways and have a drink with me.”

I am mortified. I have never met these people before and here I stand in front of her in a nun's costume. I say hello and she just can't stop laughing. We decline the offer of going inside for a drink.  He tells her that we’ll just see you tomorrow. We walk off the porch as this woman is holding her abdomen laughing hysterically.

When we get back to the car he says to me, “I know, I know you told me it would be on Saturday but I swear their kid told me it was today!”

"THEIR KID? I thought you said you called Trish and her husband?
So now I get the truth. I was so mad at him and I was embarrassed.
But at the same time I found this funny. How damn ridiculous we must have looked standing there out of context to her?

Nothing has changed sadly. Rick doesn't always pay attention to the details. 
Details are what he calls minutea, as though unimportant.
I think that is why he married me. I know that it is why he begged me to run his business when I was downsized.  He could trust me and he knew the "minutea" would be dealt without bogging down his pretty little head.

We never did go back to the real party on Saturday. I just wasn’t up for the humiliation and my heart just wasn't in it.

But we still have a halloween memory don't we?

Friday, October 3, 2008

The Things I have to look forward to....

My poor husband can't find anything. How he even gets home at night is a mystery to me. He's directionally impaired and he has now added the inability to find a friggin' thing that belongs to him. I think the only reason he got married was to have someone find his stuff.

This morning he went out to his truck and then he came back in. I asked him, "forget something?" "Yep my GPS" he replies. (he takes it off the stand and brings it in at night because we've had them stolen in our own driveway.)

So we are looking around the kitchen & island where he drops all his stuff after work. It's not there. So now he is upstairs in the bedroom. I yell upstairs, "You couldn't find your way to the bedroom?" "HA HA Margaret - I just thought maybe I carried it up here - are you even looking down there?" Hey I'm looking but it's not here so he thinks because I didn't find it I'm not looking. Honestly! So he goes back out to his truck and it is in there. Viola. Magically appeared. He comes back in laughing as he tells me "it's in the truck" So I give him another kiss goodbye and off to work he goes....or so I thought.

A few minutes later as I am sitting at my desk I hear our door open. I yell downstairs, "Rick is that you?" "Yea, now I can't find my cell phone." So we begin this dance again. I go downstairs and say, "should I call you to help us?" Then I point to his belt - he's wearing it for heaven's sake. He shakes his head, "OH MY GOD, what the hell is wrong with me today?"

Last week he couldn't find his wallet. It was in his pants that were hanging on the back of his closet door. Now wouldn't you look there first?
Then he couldn't find his favorite pair of khaki shorts. He asked me if I've seen them lately.
"Did you look in the drawer?" "Yeah I looked in the drawer, don't get smart." So I said, "no I haven't seen them lately but the bigger question here mister is where the hell are you taking your pants off these days?" He rolls his eyes at me. So off to search for his favorite pair of shorts which were washed, folded and put away in his drawer by his loving wife.

A few weeks ago he kept forgetting his cell phone. He very much needs this for work. So I put up a sign in front of his truck that reads, "Rick do you have your cell phone today?" You can not miss this sign once you sit in the drivers seat unless you are legally blind.
But numb nuts still forgot his cell phone - twice.

This morning as he left for the final time I gave him a kiss and said growing old with you sure is an adventure. "No, he laughs, more like a scavenger hunt and who better to help me find my teeth when I'm really old?"

Thursday, October 2, 2008