Holidays

I am seeing the holiday flyers and commercials and realize that it's upon us and I have no money or time and it's already stressing me out. Baa Humbug is the mantra this time of year.

Thanksgiving isn't so bad but since the majority of my family is all over the country we don't get to all sit down to a meal together anymore. Everyone has their own family and they do their own thing and have their own traditions. I do miss our Thanksgivings I must admit.
And unlike most people our Thanksgiving included Lasagna.

Growing up I didn't know that most people did not have wedding soup, lasagna, antipasto, meatballs along with their turkey, stuffing, candied sweat potatoes, mashed potatoes,rolls, cranberry sauce, green bean cassorole and pumpkin pie and other assorted desserts.

Honestly my life growing up was so insulated. It was family. Period. My playmates were cousins and my sisters. Until I went to other peoples homes in junior high I didn't know that others didn't have 2 sides of the table. Whether we ate Thanksgiving at our house with relatives over or we went to a relatives there was always wedding soup, lasagna etc. So to me that was normal.

One day when I was in the school cafeteria around the holidays we had turkey for lunch. I HATE turkey so I did not eat mine. A friend at the lunch room table said, "if you don't like turkey what do you eat on Thanksgiving?" I looked at her curiously and stated that "I just eat the lasagna." She laughed along with everyone else at the table. And there it began; I was embarrassed that I was different and so "ethnic." I remember going home and asking my mom after school if she was aware that it wasn't right to have something other than just turkey for thanksgiving like everyone else. I don't remember what she told me but I do remember that she was upset that I would be embarrassed. That was the beginning of having to explain to people what I began to see as my weird family. Now I find it funny because who wouldn't want everything that was on our table?

But now years later I love having lasagna because I still do not like anything about the traditional Thanksgiving dinner except the green been casserole and the pies. Oh candied sweet potatos are great but really I would rather have the pies.

Ah, but Christmas is a whole other story. Oh it's not the food, or the gifts, or the enormous family and dysfunction that causes me the most stress though - it's my damn neighborhood.

The first year we lived here. (2000) I was traveling 3 days a week or more for work. My husband was traveling the same. On weekends we could barely keep up with the house and laundry and errands etc. We were spending all weekend getting caught up on things that normal people do during the week while they are home. Decorating the outside of my house for Christmas was so low on my list of priorities that it was off my radar all together.

I got the proverbial knock on my door and it's my crazy neighbor named Peggy, holding a bottle of wine. She bugs the hell out of me but what the hell she's holding a bottle of wine so I invite her in. After having a few sips of wine she proceeds to interrogate me on why I have not done anything outside. "what do you mean by DO ANYTHING?" She said you are the only one on the block who has not decorated and don't you think it's getting a bit late? I asked her if the Home Owners Association made this mandatory & I didn't get the memo. She laughed and said, "Oh No, but it just doesn't look good for you and we've all been wondering..." I wanted to scream at this nut job but instead I suggested, "if you would like to help yourself to the outside of my house while you are home all week please feel free to do so because I have not had the time or the inclination to do so." A snide comment from her followed and she drank up and left.

Oh I got the looks from all the snotty women. That only made me more defiant in my stance that now I was NOT going to do anything to the outside of my house. This Peggy woman was a nut job and she didn't work outside her home. She had no kids, she had a cleaning woman, and a personal chef who made her meals and put them in her fridge and freezer and labeled them for her for heaven's sake. She had a person do her yard work & landscaping. She went to the gym or shopping every day. I did not have that luxury. Why the hell didn't she have the time to decorate my house outside if it bugged her so much?

The following year I bought a Menorah and put it in the window.....that kept them quiet and off my back that year. Not a single snippy word, not a nasty glance or a Merry Christmas, but a Happy Holiday! (that cracked me up) These Stepford Women were all confused now and being politically correct no one knew what the hell to say or do. I have to admit that I got immense joy from that.
My husband laughed like hell but as always he just shook his head and laughed at his crazy wife.