Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Shiney Hiney

Thoughts?

Anyone watch the CBS 2 part series on the death of Jon Benet Ramsey?
I don't normally watch this type of thing but I did watch this.
The first night, only because there wasn't anything on that was holding my interest.
This grabbed me.

It was done so well. The way they reenacted. The way they had all these experts in their fields around a table discussing and some playing the devil's advocate. They broke each and everything down through science.
But honestly, they all came to the same conclusion, in the same way, the facts.

Then I saw an excerpt of a Dr. Phil with the son Burke being interviewed between part 1 and part 2 of the CBS show.
He creeped me out and I couldn't watch the whole thing. He had a creepy smile through the interview that was so inappropriate. Was it from being uncomfortable that he smiled at all the wrong times? Or is he just a creep? Just socially awkward? Either way, it was all wrong to me to be smiling while having this discussion.  I also found that on every question his eyes were darting and putting the whole face together there was something off to me.
So I didn't watch the full interview. It made me very, very uncomfortable.

But I sure did watch the CBS show. I highly recommend it. I have never really had an opinion of who did it. But after watching this I agree with these experts. It's sad that if this is true, the parents could have told the authorities and their son would never have been prosecuted. Worth watching if you can find it on demand.

To think that this little girl would have been 26 today. Seriously sad on so many levels. This has ruined the lives of a lot of people. That too was something I saw on the show. They even threw their friends under the bus. People lost jobs or quite. The DA had to be on the take. They feared the almighty dollar that the Ramseys threw around. It was oh so strange.

Did you see it? What were your thoughts?

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Got Nothin'

I know, I've been M.I.A of late.
Crazy busy with all kinds of things.
More on that later. But I had to post something today to get Poop off my header.

I saw this and so wish I could buy it for Rick.

I am sure you've all seen this one on FB but I do get a giggle from the small pickle. Yea, I'm immature. 

Saturday we got all snuggled in on the sofa. (me and the dog) and Rick in his big ole recliner. We each got our beverages (yes, not alcohol - gasp!) and hit play on the ole DVR to watch the movie Money Monster with George Clooney. I saw perhaps 5 minutes and feel asleep. Sitting upright in the corner of my sectional. Rick woke me when it was over. I didn't even know I was that tired. He liked the movie, I can't say obviously.  Then I went to bed and slept. I don't know what is wrong with me of late, I just can't stay awake. No matter the hours of sleep I get I am so tired. Not feeling like myself for about 3 weeks now. I keep thinking this will pass. Right now I just want to crawl into bed.

I have to get back to work. Very busy today.
I will leave you with this chocolate lab puppy - this to me looks like pure joy.
This makes me wish Izzy was still this young. 

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Poo on TV

We got a new hopper.
For those who don't have Dish Network, it is a new "box" .

As we were flipping through the channels to see how different the look is now, I noticed this show. Really? Do we really need this?

Of course, it made me laugh and I paused it so I could show Rick.
He, of course, said, "let's tune in and see what it's about?"

Yeah, I don't think so.



Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Wheel of Fortune

I don't watch Wheel of Fortune
I find Sajak incredibly obnoxious so I don't tune in.
However, the last couple of nights Rick has had it on while I'm doing other things. I can still hear it though. I look over at him and he isn't even watching this insipid dribble, he is on his laptop.

The contestants are bad enough. All the jumping up and down and acting so foolish as though they have never been in public before. But it got worse for me.
Each night I hear the same thing, "Hi Pat. My name is...I am married to my handsome husband/beautiful wife, I have 3 perfect children."
It makes me want to vomit!!

Just once I would love to hear, "Hi Pat. My name is Sue. I am married to a raging alcoholic who has lost all our money on booze and gambling, I have a son currently in rehab for methamphetamines and a daughter who is on the pole. I need some big money Pat so I can run away."

Now that I would not only tune in for, I'd cheer her on!!

Monday, September 12, 2016

Honeymoon Phase

Our life has been a great deal of discovery of Rick's new family.
I am the mean one telling him to cool his jets, to lay back, to not be so eager that you can see the trees through the forest kind of thing.

He is not listening to me.
When he met his birth mom there was a honeymoon phase. But by the time he spent time with her, not just a visit, he realized she was not someone he wanted to be around. We then had to make it a point to distance ourselves.

I keep telling him that story to remind him to chill out.
Out of the 4 siblings, he found he has, 2 do not partake in their family.
Too much to share, but suffice it to say, it sounded like my family and it made me laugh. Ah, family drama and dysfunction.

These 2 want to come meet Rick. They write each day and talk, ask questions, share pictures. (he really does look and sound like his father) We would prefer going there since Rick has never spent much time in California except San Francisco which he did not like (neither of us did - it was like a very dirty Seattle) 
They asked if they can come in October. Busy month for us but I feel I have no right to say no. We are going to Florida for my annual cousin's reunion so perhaps I'll have to cancel our trip.

I was hoping for neutral ground but doesn't seem like that is going to happen.
Great, meet new people and have to entertain. Didn't I just have company where I had to cook and do all this entertaining shit? Aargh.

It's funny I have wished my whole life to not have siblings. I always wanted to be an only child. As a young woman in my 20's I would say that I wanted to marry a man who was an orphan - no more family drama. And basically, I did. He is an only child and his parents are both deceased.
It shows that I am the complete opposite of Rick in this situation.
I told him he could have my sisters. Damn, he wants his own.

I hope this eventually settles into something Rick and his new found family can handle well.  I so don't want to deal with drama. I don't want more shit in my life, I'd like less. I am trying to downsize my life and here it is getting bigger.

Can I just run away and live on the beach somewhere?

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Randomn Items

Wow have I been busy. But nothing in particular.
Had a great holiday weekend. A bit lazier than normal and I sure liked that.
Hope you all had a nice holiday as well.

Let's start with deaths shall we?
Phyllis Schlafly died this weekend.
I despised this woman. I know it's not nice to speak ill of the dead.But I spoke ill of her while she was alive, does that count?
I saw the funniest quote about her death on Twitter - 
'Let's treat her like she wanted women treated:
Mrs. John Fred Schlafly, Jr died today. '
That made me smile!

Now let's start with beginnings.
Rick "met" his 2 siblings over the weekend. He's no longer an only child. Imagine that. "Met" via phone and emails actually, not in person.
The person on ancestry.com saw Rick's message and she saw that they were related 99.97% or some such crazy high number.
She knew what that meant but neither of them said anything about being siblings.

She called Rick on Sunday late afternoon our time. She said her name and Rick looked at me and said, "Cheri?" I shrugged I had no idea. She then repeated her name and this time ancestry.com. Then Rick went, Oh Cheri and looked at me with wide open eyes. At that point I remembered who Cheri was.
She said to Rick, "I don't even have a DNA match this close with my 1st cousins do you know how we are related?"  
Rick asked if she was sitting down and he told her.

She cried. He cried. It was wild. He hasn't stop grinning all weekend.
They talked for a very long time. A plethora of questions back and forth.
Then the emails started and the texting. This went on for 2 days.
It was so overwhelming to Rick as well as his new found siblings.
He has 3 sisters and 1 brother. They all have the same father.
They know that their father knew nothing about him just as he was told.
Hearing about his father was like someone listing things about Rick.
That was odd.

Nature vs. nuture has always been a discussion at our home. I see a lot of nature and nurture in Rick and I think that is pretty damn cool.

I don't know where this will go. They need to chill out for a bit and absorb all this. After she saw Rick's photos she cried. She said it was like looking at Dad again. I wish Rick had found him before he passed. If I didn't tell you, he passed from a fall at only 54 years old. 

They live in California. Couldn't be further away in the lower 48 could it?
Her father grew up in Orange County and said it was not the Orange County we know today.  They all grew up there as well. She said it was surfing and very rural and not the place for the rich and famous as it is today. All live in California but one lives in Utah. They are no longer in Orange County. They are in other areas of California. Cheri is near Big Bear Lake. I don't know specifics about the others.

I hope they get to meet. Once the dust settles we'll see. Rick surely didn't want to scare them or make them feel he wanted anything more than to know them. It was all up to them. He did not come on strong and even said as much. He will let them make the first move. They made comments about meeting so we'll see.
I'd sure love to tag along and go to CA but they may wish to meet somewhere neutral or come here. We'll see.

I spent my life wishing I had no siblings. It was always so noisy in my house. It was always chaos, drama, and I prefer calm. Then as adults, oiy vay, the issues. So I kept telling Rick to be careful what he wishes for this may be more than you want or need. But right now, it's been cool to see him so happy. He finally looks like someone. He has been telling me that since I met him. He wanted to find someone that looks like him. Well, he sure has. It's so darn nice for him.

The thing that struck me was that she went to ancestry.com on her fathers birthday to find she had a brother. Hmm...

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Would you?



If I were with Rick I know we would.
Alone...not so certain I would and that bothers me.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Story of a Stubborn Man and His Dear Patient Wife


Rick invented new swear words on Friday doing the new floors in our master. He came out of the bathroom and proclaimed, "It won. I am a beaten man and I'm so @#!$ frustrated because I know how to do this." He began to call around to contractors to see the cost of them laying this floor. All the while his patient wife is asking, "Did you look at the video on the site? Did you read the directions?" She felt he must be doing something ever so small wrong and it would make this go much more smoothly if corrected. He continued to say yes, while she knew he was lying. So she gave him a cocktail after dinner and as he relaxed she said, "Hey listen to this....as she read off how to do the floor" Something caught his ear and he began to laugh. Loudly, heartily. Today he did what his dear wife read to him and lo and behold no issues, floor going in as planned and he saved thousands of dollars so his wife could spend that somewhere else. 
Moral of the story? 
When at first you don't succeed, do what your wife told you to begin with!"

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Laughter

With the exception of when Rick spent so many months ill, he laughs every day.
We both have at least one belly laugh daily. (Thank God.)
He is either making me laugh or I am laughing at him.
I only dislike this when he laughs AT me, you know like Toad day.

Last night as I was on the 2nd floor folding laundry I hear him laughing like crazy downstairs. That makes me wonder what the hell is so funny and what is he watching without me?

I go downstairs and I see George Foreman, Henry Winkler, William Shatner, Terry Bradshaw and some young man I don't know. They are in Tokyo.
It's a show called Better Late Than Never.

He insists I watch this from the beginning with him.
I did. Yes, it was funny but not the way he was laughing. When they got to this staircase leading to Mount Fuji and they talked about their new hips & new knees that did indeed make me laugh because oh how I can relate.
I would not have climbed those stairs unless there was a boat load of money and cheesecake at the top!

Apparently, this show is about these old guy having adventures in Asia.
My husband laughed through this whole show which in turn makes me laugh listening to him laugh like that. It was far better than I thought it would be that is for certain.

Last night while on the sofa watching TV I asked Rick to rub my knee.
I put my knee over his lap.  He began rubbing my ankle.
I said, "Rick that is my ankle not my knee"
We both laughed. I said, "Please don't tell me you're getting dementia now"
Then he grabbed my boob and began groping and said is that your knee?
Nope old man it is not my knee and I moved his hand to my bum knee.
No matter how old they are ladies...no matter how old. :-)

So you can see how a show of old guys doing things was just what my old man needed.
Nothing better than laughter.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Weekend Toad

My weekend was pretty eventful but not necessarily in a fun way.

Hubby did a pulled pork in the crock pot. My house smelled amazing on Saturday.  On Sunday we ate this. But before that happened, allow me to back up and explain my scary, emotional morning.

We have been having some issues with our satellite dish and we had someone coming to our home between 10am - 12pm on Sunday morning. So for once on an early Sunday morning, I was up, dressed for public consumption should someone come on time.

Izzy was a ball of energy and Rick decided to take her swimming this morning before we got on with our day. She goes swimming every day for at least an hour and it makes her happy and it makes us happy but for a different reason. She is exhausted and will nap for the afternoon.

Rick probably hadn't even driven away from our home with this traumatic event happened. I had an empty wine bottle and a small shipment box on the kitchen island. I grabbed them to throw into the recycle bin on the porch to the left of our back door.

I opened the door and something hopped onto my foot and then my other foot and I screamed and freaked out. I do not know where the hell the box or bottle went. I just remember looking down at my feet and seeing this HUGE toad.
It hopped to what I think is under my L shaped sofa. I am freaking out. There was no way that thing was going to be in my house and me relax.
OH MY GOD I was a total spaz.

I saw my phone and grabbed it - not taking my eyes off the sofa area.
I wanted to see where that little shit was going to go next. I called Rick.
It became to ring behind me. DAMN. He never remembers to take his phone.

I know you are all laughing but I was freaking out. A HUGE toad was in my house. So I back up to grab a metal bowl. I thought if that little shit hops out from under the sofa I am going to put this bowl over top of it. No way I am touching it or picking it up.  I got a flashlight too. Again all while never taking my eyes off the damn sofa area.   I tried to see if I could see it but honestly I was too far away and there was no way in hell I was going to get any closer.

An hour of standing there watching this sofa area with no movement of a toad in site. I was praying this satellite guy didn't come early. Unless he was a toad wrangler I wasn't walking away from this area.

FINALLY Rick and Izzy come in. I was thinking Izzy would save my day.
Nope, she came over to me and rubbed her wet coat all over me and flopped down at my feet exhausted. I yelled for Rick to hurry up THERE IS A TOAD IN THE HOUSE.  He of course laughs and asks what I am doing holding a flashlight in one hand and a metal bowl in the other. I couldn't look at him, I had to be the watch guard of the toad. I said I was trying to see if I could see the toad under the sofa with the flashlight. He laughing said, "from 20ft away?"
Okay, smart boy - just get it!!!!

Rick looked under the sofa with the flashlight. He looked under the chair. He then went to the sofa table. I slowly had moved toward that area. I said, "Pick up the drapery the rat bastard could be under there"  Rick laughed at me and I begged him to just please lift the damn drape.
He did - there was the damn toad HUGE toad,  just staring at me. I screamed and said, "GOD GET HIM OUT OF HERE"

Rick took a toy of Izzy's and pushed him out and then picked him up and went outside and let him go.
When Rick returned he was laughing hysterically at me.
"Have you been standing there like that the whole time I was gone?"

"Yes! I wanted to know where he was at all times and I didn't see him leave this area so I knew he was back there somewhere."


"And why do you have a bowl, Margaret, making toad soup?" Now he is really laughing his ass off.

"No, I thought if he came out I'd be brave enough to get close enough to put this bowl over top of it."

"Oh my God, you are a nut! It's just a toad. It was a big sucker, larger than I've seen in a long time but it's still just a toad."

"I know it's a toad and I did not want him in the house Richard." I shuttered.


"Hey how did it get in here anyway?"

I opened the back door to the patio and it hopped onto my feet, Rick.
MY BARE FEET.
It was so gross. Rick looked out back and he saw the wine bottle had rolled over to the table and the box was on top of the basil plant. Apparently, I threw it in the air and it landed on the plant. Oops. I think he's still laughing at me. He found this whole thing hysterical. I.did.not.

What I wanna know is how that toad got on my patio in the first place?
That is the head scratcher.
But then again I don't want to know because I will be in fear of other critters then if I know.

I could finally sit down after I knew that critter was outdoors. But then the doorbell rings and the man is on time. What are the chances of that ever happening? But it was Sunday, maybe he wasn't so busy. It took my mind off the dinosaur  huge toad in my house.

Then later in the day Rick and I were going to eat the pulled pork for dinner.
I remembered I had gluten free hamburger buns in the garage freezer so I brought that bag into the house. I made homemade coleslaw that I must say was damn good.

Rick decided to add the BBQ sauce to some of the pulled pork he took out of the slow cooker. He then built a sandwich I should have photographed.
He had BBQ pulled pork, coleslaw and he topped it off with the pickled banana peppers he made from our garden patch.  It looked like a restaurant sandwich. When he bit in he was moaning. I couldn't make mine fast enough.

As I have said here before I don't normally eat bread much. Even GF bread. I just try not to eat the carbs. So I made myself a sandwich and it was so damn good. I don't often get to eat a sandwich and this was beyond good. The coleslaw was a perfect topping for this and Rick was right, his pickled peppers were great on it as well.

Now this is where it went bad - I loved it so much I ate a 2nd. I knew I shouldn't. Stop at 1 Peg don't be a pig.
Rick rationalized my buns were half the size of his regular bun so go for it.
At least that is what I heard because he never stopped eating... he was already chowing down on his 2nd one.
Oh hell, I went for it and paid the price.
It was just so good. If only I had a GF beer it would have been a perfect meal.
I mean BBQ and beer are a perfect combo.

But nothing is perfect, is it? Later, I felt like shit. I was watching TV and it felt like a brick was laying in my stomach. I still feel like shit this morning. Heavy and like it's still just laying there. I deserve it for eating two sandwiches but damn they were good but I won't be doing that again. (sure that is what I say now)  I was a pig and paying the price.

That was my fun weekend. How was yours?

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Adoption

Rick was adopted shortly after birth.
He was adopted by Ben and Violet.
They wanted a child so badly and with some financial and emotional help from someone Rick called his Grandma but wasn't, they were able to adopt Rick. She was a family friend not his Grandma but he always called her Grandma Rose.

Rick's family was poor. So poor that they could only afford to adopt one child.
His father was a coal miner then he worked as a maintenance man for the hospital in their little town. Yes, he had black lung.
His mother took in laundry and ironed for folks as well as doing housework for others. This so embarrassed Rick as a kid. Now he is proud of all they had with so little and how much he was given when they had so little.  As his wife and friend for 30 years I see his background come into play in everything he does.

Rick's father was an airline mechanic in the air force. But after the air force to do the same kind of work would mean moving to a bigger city. He was a bit intimated with moving to "the big city" so he stayed in the small town and worked in the coal mines. What I always found so funny is that he hated to fly. Why does one go into the air force then? I never got to ask him that because I know I would have if I had ever met him.

Rick grew up with a great work ethic and empathy for others. I love that his father instilled that in him. Since the day I met Rick he beams when talking about his dad. My God that man makes Rick proud. Stories of his kindness to others, how much he struggled and worked 2 jobs.  His love of the Pittsburgh Pirates and his mom. He was so smitten with Rick's mom. Rick didn't get that because he and his mom were like oil and water and they never gelled all that well. He loved her but there were always issues.

Rick always wanted to know his adopted mother. He finally met her but did not tell his mom that he was either looking or found her because he knew it would kill her spirit. When she was dying she told him to look for her. He then lied to his mom and said that he began that search as hoping she wouldn't be upset. He never told her he found her. He knew even though she said it was fine that this would really break her heart.

I met his birth mom and she was awful. This was not an Oprah moment as I have shared here on the blog before. So I won't repeat. After the 3rd visit we never saw her again and when we moved out west we didn't share that information. Everything went into my name so she would have a difficult time finding us. (before internet) She wouldn't remember my last name (not married at the time) and there was no facebook or any easy way to find us. This way there would be no way she could ask us for more money or have any contact with her. She was a toxic person.

I would ask Rick from time to time if he was interested in finding his dad and he would shrug his shoulders. I often wondered if he was just afraid of being so incredibly disappointed. I told him this man has to be a wonderful man because you can't be who you are if someone wasn't a good man. His birth mother was a liar, cheat and mean. So then we would discuss nature vs nurture. Could he be this kind hard working loving man from his adopted parents and how he was raised? Was nothing genetic?

It's a conversation we've had over the years. Finally about 5 years ago he thought he may want to find his dad. The birth certificate he got had his birth father's name. We've gone round and round in circles on this. Then for a completely different reason, we both wanted to do our DNA on ancestry.com
Rick went first.

He found out his nationalities and the surprise was that someone on ancestry.com who started a family tree and who also did the DNA was an Extremely High Match to be a sibling and or first cousin. WOW.  That we were not expecting from all of this. He just thought it would be fun to see what he was other than his birth mom telling him he was Irish.

This link took us to this match. Not a full name but more of a combo of names so we still don't know her name, but her family tree was there. Her father's name was listed and it was a form of the name Rick knew to be his father. The name he was given for his first name was indeed his middle. However in searching through the documents we see he was born with the first name but never used it. Only used his middle name. So that made sense to us. If he went by his middle name his mom only knew that for the birth certificate. Then we saw a photo of this man. OH.MY.GOD. It was Rick's body type, Rick's mouth, and shape face and sadly Rick's hairline. :-)

We blew it up. It was him as a young man in the 1960's. We couldn't stop staring. It was Rick. Could this be his father?  The more we read the more info matched what we knew. He was 18 and Rick's birth mom was 16. She was visiting someone in California and while living there for a summer got pregnant.
She moved back to Pennsylvania and had the child and gave it up for adoption. We don't even know if he knows he had a child.

We read more documents on her tree. Come to find out that during an inspection of a home in 1991 he fell from a roof and died of a head injury. That was a huge disappointment to Rick. I know that sounds selfish but I know he was disappointed that he got this far only to find out he was dead. He kept saying, you were right I should have done this a long time ago when you were nagging me. When I would ask about it, he would say, Ben died in 1980, he was my father.

Rick has copied the photo and he continues to look at it. He wrote to the woman to say he had his DNA done and we are family members and gave her the information without saying anything about siblings. He didn't want to scare her off. So the next time she signs into her ancestry.com account she will see the email. Hopefully, they will communicate and something will come of it. I so hope so for him.  He sees that on this family tree there are 4 kids this man had. So he could have 4 siblings.
I told him I too have 4 siblings, be careful what you wish for. He laughed.

I know he is so antsy for that woman to contact him back. I so hope and pray that she does. I hope this is a better event than meeting his mother.
He has his mother's eyes but everything else from this photo looks like his dad.

It will be interesting to see nature vs. nurture. That is a discussion we have a great deal in our home. I'll keep you posted.

Friday, August 12, 2016

My Nod to the Olympics

I know you thought after that headline you'd see me here in my leotard with toes pointed and funny hand gestures. I didn't want you to laugh so hard you'd choke so I decided against it. 





Any of you old enough to remember when the Olympics showed stories and highlights about all Olympic athletes, not just Americans?  I really miss that.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

My Sippy Cup

I am feeling so much better this morning. I am certain by the weekend I will be back at 100%.  Not that you asked. :-)

I bought these glasses that were on sale at Target right before our horrible company was arriving. There were only 4 and they were only $1.00.
You can't beat that. I grabbed them all. I thought the plastic was perfect for patio use but honestly, I use them all the time now. They proved to be everyone's favorite and they were great for all sort of beverages.

I drink from these all day long. Water only...But Saturday I poured a bit of rosé
in it. So now he is calling this my sippy cup.  I hate to admit that this is exactly like a sippy cup. The straw and everything is plastic. Just like a toddler.
I am drinking water with lemon right now from my sippy cup.
I love my sippy cup. I really am going backwards, aren't I?
Rick was saying we get more like children as we age. I think I will stop now at sippy cup, diapers are out of the question!!!