Friday, May 27, 2016

Where Did He Put That This Time?

If a tree falls in the wood do you hear it?
If a man empties the dishwasher do you hear it?
HELL YES, he will tell you over and over again.

Rick made a loud proclamation, "I EMPTIED THE DISHWASHER"
okay then.

I am going to begin making big loud statements every time I do something.
I washed, dried and folded your underwear and t-shirts.
I picked up your phone off the patio floor and put it in the charger.
I saw your binder was missing some things so I filled it up for you.
I washed the kitchen floor on my lunch break.
This could go on for days. He does one simple act of removing our clean dishes from the dishwasher for the first time in months and you'd have thought he cured cancer.

If I am being honest I hate when he empties the dishwasher, because even though this big handsome man has lived in this house for 16 years he doesn't know where anything goes. So if he does empty the dishwasher no one can find anything. By no one, I mean even him. How can that be you ask?  Hell if I know.  I think it's something to do with the male chromosome. Most days I find it humorous, the other couple of days I want to shake him. I want to say, "do you do this on purpose so nothing is expected of you? Or are you really that clueless to where things have been in your house for 16 years?"

The last time he did this neither of us could find our cheese grater. Which has been in the same place for 16 yrs. I found it with the baking pans, lying IN the meatloaf pan. I asked him why he put it there. He said he couldn't remember where it went and he was in that cupboard so he just put it there. Then ask me you goof ball so we aren't playing hide 'n seek for 10 minutes.  He laughs and I just shake my head.
Can you even imagine if I did that to one of his tools in the garage?
Oh heaven help me.

He does this with the bed too. He can't make a bed. Or at least that is his story and he's sticking to it. We can get so far making a bed together and I'll have to finish.
Even I learned how to use some of his power tools.  He kept telling me, try it again you'll get this. So I think I'm going to try that line of tactics. Hey, Rick, come back over here and try it again. Think that will fly?  I know he'll say, "Oh it looks fine, and why even make a bed, you're just going to mess it up again in a few hours?"

Over the years you learn to pick your battles. You learn to let things go. But when he says to me, "It is important to me that you learn this or that. Or it's important to me that you do it this way. I do it that way or learn whatever. So I think that phrase is going to begin to bite him in the ass don't you?

I WROTE A BLOG POST.
See, I can make big loud stupid proclamations too!

Have a great holiday weekend to all my American readers!!

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Dr Seuss and Wine.

I saw this play on Dr. Seuss's work and thought it quite cute.



The long holiday weekend is upon us and we are slow here in the office.
The boys are busy but I'm really not.  I like that. It appears from what I saw on the local news, everyone has hit the road already to begin their vacation. The bay bridge, the only way to get to the shore, was at a standstill of traffic at 8am this morning. Wow. Glad I'm not going to the shore.

At yoga last night I was chatting with some women and I told them about my day at the plastic surgeons. I told them I was looking at the ultherapy and they knew someone who had it on their face but they were only 42 and it did wonders. It's something you don't see the results completely for 3 months. Great I am 18 yrs too late. The story of my life. So now I have to worry about my neck falling to where my boobs used to me, knockers tucked into my waistband and my ass is obviously tired and is now lying on the back of my thighs and can't get up.
Pretty huh?

Anyhoo, I was telling them how going to this type of office really messes with your self-esteem. I walked in there in nice clothing thinking I looked pretty darn good and feeling great. As I left that morning Rick even told me I looked nice. He doesn't do that often so that was a nice treat and made me feel good. I walked into the office with my head held high and a zip in my step feeling great.

Then you enter their office about your neck and only your neck. But they proceed to stare at you in a way that is almost creepy. They are close and then they pull back and close again. What the hell is that about?  Does this surgeon need glasses because that is some scary shit and do I want them near my neck with very sharp tools? They tell you how bad it is, how your eyes need this and your cheeks need that. But I didn't ask about those things.  Don't up sell me damn it.  By the time they are done with you, you feel ugly and you walk out of the office deflated with your head down and shoulders slumped and you then turn away from all reflective surfaces.

For some reason, the women at yoga found that hysterically funny. I wasn't trying to be funny. Rick was there and he said I sold it funny. Hmmm....
All the women were nodding and saying, yep, yep, yep.
So apparently I'm not the only one. They began to share stories.
One woman talked about how her dermatologist will get so close to her face and tells her she needs this and that. None of which she has ever thought about or for that matter even seen. She leaves feeling like shit and then when she gets home she stares into the mirror and sees things she never noticed before that the damn Dr. had pointed out. She told me her way to fix this is to never go to the doctor again. I'm beginning to think at this age that might be my best bet.

Yoga was a killer last night. But boy I sleep so well on yoga nights. I'm sore as shit that evening and the next day or two but I do like it. I hate to admit it. Rick was right. I think that makes Rick right now 2 times already this year. He's breaking records. He's got 6 more months to go. Oh, how I love to bust his balls.

I am going shopping this weekend for a dress for my niece's wedding.
I HATE to shop for clothes. Hate isn't even a strong enough word for how I feel about shopping for clothes. All dresses these days don't have sleeves.
What is up with that? I can't wear sleeveless anymore, I have wings.
I'm short and I'm busty. That does not make shopping easy.
I am a size 10 on the bottom and 16 on the top.
They don't make dresses like that for freaks like me.
So I buy a big ass dress for my boobs to fit into and then have to pay the same amount as the damn dress to have it altered. A $100 dress is actually $200 with alterations. I hate shopping. I would rather have root canal surgery. Shopping makes me very very irritable and I wish I had a girlfriend here to go with me.
My friend Susan is the best at this. Too bad she lives 7hrs away.
She has said to me, "Hell no, that makes your ass look big or Yes, this makes you look like you have a smaller waist - buy it!" And then we'd go have a cocktail.
But if I had a friend here I'd probably try to just talk her into stopping all this horse shit of trying on clothes and suggest we go to a bar in the mall. So I guess it's best to do this alone in a poorly lit dressing room with 360 degree mirrors which makes one want to cry. I will shop and come home terribly depressed. But that brings me back to my header, there is always wine to comfort me when I get home right?

Not been a great physical week for me.  Cheers!


Wednesday, May 25, 2016

I hate my neck

I know that Nora Ephron made a ton of money from hating her neck. I, like a million other women, read her hysterical book. But I really hate my neck and am not finding the funny about it anymore.

I went for a consultation for ultherapy. If you have never heard of this treatment it is a non-surgical (ultrasound) way to lift your neck.  I had been reading about this and so I thought I'd give it a try. Well, apparently I have aged too much and it won't help me. They suggested a neck lift. You know, knives and scars and bandages.  Yuk.

I hate my neck. I can't wear turtle necks or I would all the time.
I can't afford the $7,500 to just lift my damn old lady turkey neck when so many other things need to be done first. It would be irresponsible. I hate that I can't be irresponsible.

So I have chosen to make a fashion statement with a burka.  Oh, it's not a religious statement because I am not a person who believes in organized religion. And God knows I can't be subservient.  I am choosing to wear this, not a man demanding it for me.

Now as a fashion statement, I can do this. Hey, I may even be able to eat a piece of cheesecake in this outfit and not look bloated. No grooming of every inch of hair removal for summer. I can be a hairy beast in this outfit, you'll never know.

C'mon now, doesn't my neck look damn good?
Woman in full burqa, Cairo : Stock Photo

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

National Wine Day.

Or as we call it in our home, "Peggy Day."



On to other news....

The product Rick invented a few years ago is selling very well.
Because we have had a great many boat owners love how well it works on the faded vinyl lettering and/or vinyl strips on their boat we had an idea.
We bought a mailing list of boat owners who bought things for the boat and their boats had to be 5 yrs or older. We did it all after buying the mailing list. Made the postcards, made the labels, mailed them.
We just don't have time for that now.

Yesterday Rick sent emails to 4 companies to see if they could help us.
They all contacted Rick.  The first 3 were good. They would get the specifics of who we needed to reach, make the postcard, mail the postcard and we don't have anything to do. We already have a postcard made so we really just need them to get the mailing list of the particular people we need to reach and then make the labels and mail them. Easy right?

Companies 1 and 2 asked some questions and gave Rick the data he needed.
The 3rd company was superior Rick stated to me last evening.
The young man who called him asked him a boat load of questions, as a sales person should do.  He wanted to know who we wanted to reach, why these people and he gave some input about a few other avenues we never thought of.  Together he and Rick really came together as a partnership of ideas and a plan. They then worked on the price. Rick told him he'd get back to him after he spoke to all the companies. The young man said he understood and if he had any questions along the way to contact him. 

Rick and I discussed company number 3 and felt this man "got it" and he also was collaborative, not just spouting off numbers and prices and asking for the sale.  We were pretty sure at this point we were going with him. The price fell in line with the others, but $0.01 more per card from the lowest one. We could live with that if we were going to actually work with someone who wouldn't just be an order taker but a partner per se and help us and give us input/ideas.

Later that day Company number 4 called. He asked how many did we want to  reach. He said, "It will cost you this and if you give me your credit card we can move forward."  Rick said, " Whoa, we haven't discussed what my list will consist of or who we are targeting nor have we discussed who makes the postcard etc."  The young man said, "We are the best there is sir, no one can beat our price, so if you will just give me your credit card number we'll get started"

Ooh, Rick was hot now.  I was standing near him and saw his face. Thankfully for this kid he couldn't see Rick's face, or he'd have hung up.
Rick said, "I am not comfortable with your hard sell.  I wanted to discuss the marketing plan, not just price. While price is important so is the person I am working with. I am not interested in moving forward, you just want to close the sale without selling me you or your company. "  The kid was livid and said, "Your loss, we're the best out there"

Rick hung up. He looked at me and said, "How the hell do these kids get jobs and keep them?"  Rick said he wanted to smack the arrogance off his tone. That made me laugh I have to admit.

Then a bit later Rick received an email saying he thought Rick was ready to buy since he sounded urgent. (if you know Rick, nothing he says sounds urgent, you don't know how funny that is.)

Rick wrote back thanking him for the apology and said, as a former sales person may I suggest you ask the consumer their timeline, questions about their product so you know how to sell it, and what they are looking to achieve so you can help them. I wish you much success, however, we are going with another company.

I felt Rick should just let it go. But he wrote it anyway.  Here is what the little shit wrote back. Complete with the highlight he added.

I am not too worried about its good luck finding a company that will provide as accurate info has the number one data supplier in the nation. Go ahead and find another company that will provide written guarantees to protect your investment. That’s not my business but no other company does what we do.
Based on your enthusiasm, I went for the close I wouldn’t change what I did for one second.
When you go to the other company they leave you with a bad taste I can put you in contact with someone in our firm. I’m not your personal business advisor but I you should maybe get one.
Your giving up on best company in our field because a SALES REP asked for a sale I think you should revisit you thinking process on this.
So good luck with this project Rick.

Well, that got our laid back Ricky all fired up. He then forwarded this email to his boss, VP of sales, the CEO and the director of training. 
I, again, would never do this!!!  I did understand Rick's frustration with this little shit but c'mon, be the bigger man. What made me laugh was this little shit writing us and telling us to call this company later to get a different sales rep and he thinks we'd ever call this company again?  

I heard from Rick today from out in the field. Apparently he recieved a voicemail from the CEO who would like to discuss this with him. 
I can't believe Rick did this.
I am writing this as I am shaking my head.  He could have just gone to Yelp or let it go. But no, laid back Rick was poked too many times, then he is no longer laid back and is fired up. You don't want to mess with him once he gets to the fired up stage. God knows I don't want to.  This is when I duck and hide. 

Having spent 20+ years in sales I know you don't work like this if you are going to be successful. You ask questions and then shut the hell up and listen. That helps you see what they really need, value and wish to accomplish. You sell to those things, not what you want to sell. You build trust and you honor their requests. It always worked for me. Then when I need to show them something else that we now have that they may need, they were open to listen to me because I listened to them.  It's called respect. Pushy only brings regret to the person buying if they bought in the first place. How can't he know that?  Idiot.

So it should be a fun afternoon when Rick speaks to this kids boss.
Hopefully, he won't be fired, but just get some training. For the love of God, he needs training. And Rick needs to step away from email for awhile.  

(btw...that big yellow ball in the sky is rearing it's head here today.  yipee)

Monday, May 23, 2016

Fun, Fun, Fun

That was my weekend in a nutshell.

Saturday we dropped off the dog and did some shopping.
We bought the flooring for our 3 bathrooms.  Boy, Rick has a job ahead of him.
I even got him to go to Bed Bath and Beyond after our trip to Lowes. He always goes kicking and screaming and then he loves it. He keeps saying, "It's all about the Beyond"as he is throwing things in the cart. I just wanted a shower caddy. Came home with all things other than a shower caddy. Note to self: If you bring him he'll spend money like he does at Costco.

And here is a big surprise - it was pouring Saturday. I mean like it hurt you rain when it hit you. Still raining, yes indeed it was still raining. Even today as I type this, pouring down rain.
Next visit to Lowe's may be for the wood for our Ark that we will need next.

After the shopping, we drove to  Alexandria and checked into our hotel.
Actually, the show was in Alexandria but our hotel was in Arlington.
A mere few blocks away.

We had a few drinks, then went to a very late lunch or an early dinner with a few more drinks.
Then we went to the see this man.


The box office opens at 5pm and they give you a number. Then they call you in to get seats by your number. Now this place holds 500 it says online. It doesn't look that big to me but it may. We kept thinking we'd leave after getting our number. But we didn't. They had a bar there. (see why we got a hotel?) We met a great many people from out of town and everyone was fun and festive. It was a bunch of old people like us. We met a couple from Reading PA. Long way to come but they played tourist all day and they were telling us the sights they saw.

Even though we got there at 5:10a we were number D61. They had to go through the C's first. Apparently people were in line since 3p.  No, thank you. I'm too old, I don't do lines well anymore.

So our sight lines weren't great as you can see here below.


We got inside and saw a table of 3 men. We asked if they were holding these seats for anyone and they said we could join them.
My goodness, these 3 guys were fun and funny.
They said something to me about being cheap.
I said I'm easy but I'm so not cheap!
That made them buy us a round of drinks, they thought that was funny.
I wasn't trying to be funny, I am easy and NOT cheap. :-) Ask Rick.

These guys bought dinner and they were drinking their bourbon with beer.
I asked if they were driving and they said they took Uber.  Good.
They were 3 military buddies from Vietnam. They were a fun bunch.

After the show, we got back to the hotel and saw others from the show.
We all had night caps at the hotel bar. We then crawled into our oh so comfy heavenly bed and slept until 8am. No wet nose waking us at 5a to go out. It was glorious. I don't recall a time I slept until 8am.

We picked up Izzy from doggy day care where she was boarded and brought our girl home. It was still raining cats and dogs so we knew she'd be a lazy dog. She likes to sleep a lot when it rains, just like people. We all had a great lazy day on the sofa with movies. Wine may or may not have been involved.

Now if it would just stop raining because my petunias can't take much more.
They say we'll see the sun this week. I will not hold my breath.
But I am drying out. :-)

Friday, May 20, 2016

Birthday Cake

Rick's birthday was yesterday and he got to do exactly what he wanted - nothing.
He had the day off and he took 2 naps, took the dog swimming, watched awful testosterone filled movies with violence and no dialogue. (ok that is my description of the movies, there was I'm sure dialogue at some point between guns and things blowing up)  To him a perfect day.

We determined last evening that the only time 61 is considered young is when you die.
You know, He was ONLY 60 when he passed, he was so young.
But if you are just at any ole event, you're the old fart.
For some reason, that amused us.

Rick has been whining about craving a dense moist chocolate cake for a month now while he's been dieting. He lost 24lbs so far. I made him a homemade chocolate cake with choc buttercream frosting. He cheated on his diet and ate 2 pieces. One the night before his birthday to "just to make sure it's good Margaret"

I went downstairs yesterday at lunchtime to grab something to eat and bring to my desk. I found Rick in the kitchen slicing up the cake and wrapping the individual pieces and then putting them in a bigger ziplock freezer bag. I had to laugh. He said if this cake sits here it will be gone. So I'm freezing pieces to eat later when I want to cheat.  I got a chuckle out of that one. The only reason it isn't already gone is because I can't eat gluten or that cake wouldn't have a chance of being around by Sunday!

He got a text last night after we went to bed. He read it this morning.
It said, "I wanted to call you buddy to wish you a happy birthday, but I know you're in bed, I've been at the flats and now on my way home and I'm in trouble."
To Rick, that was the best text or happy birthday he got all day. He really thought that was funny. Drunk texting to say happy birthday.

I may reach out to his wife today for a good laugh. They live in another city now, used to be our immediate next door neighbors. Love 'em. This is also the man who always put anatomically correct snowmen on our porch, rang the bell and would run. They denied the things they did for years, but as soon as they moved it all stopped. No coincidence there.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

House Hunters on a Loop

It's raining....still raining.

Last evening I was watching back to back to back House Hunters.
Rick had gone to bed and Izzy was snoring next to me on the sofa.
I had coffee at 9p and it wasn't decaf....oops. Normally that doesn't bother me I can still sleep but not last night. The HH in America makes me scream at my TV. The one in Australia made me want to move. The ones in Europe make me feel like a spoiled American.  The rooms are so small, especially the kitchen. No one has heard of a laundry room apparently in Europe or large appliances. They always show the washer in the kitchen. It is so interesting to me. I know that I need none of the things I have grown accustomed to, but boy I like them.

The folks on House Hunters (America) crack me up. Now I hear you yelling, it's all fake. But even if it is, why would someone act this stupid?
Here are a few of the things that stood out to me last night.

** A woman actually said, "We can't have stairs in the house with children, we need a 1 story home."  My parents obviously didn't like me, we had stairs, we had sharp corners and we had slippery hardwood floors. They must have been waiting for me to fall or die or both. I remember falling in the living room when I was quite small, say 6 or 7 at best, and landing on a magazine rack that had these pointy parts that came out of the rack and I landed right on one with my palm. My hand was stuck and I went to the hospital with magazine rack through my palm. Yes, I went to the hospital AND I got yelled at. I was running in the living room and goofing off and I shouldn't have been according to my parents. Stairs a concern? Hell, I was impaled on a magazine rack that my mother loved. This show has made me realize my parents must really not like me.

** Another woman went hysterical when the realtor showed her a home with the master on the 1st floor and the other bedrooms on the 2nd floor. She screeched, "My children must be on the same floor as me, what if they need me?" The realtor replied, "I'm sorry I thought you told me you had older children"  The hysterical woman had a 12 and 13-year-old. Really? My parents probably would have loved having we kids far away. I remember putting a glass to the closet wall with my sister to hear my parents "doing it"  I do understand this hysteria if your child is a baby or toddler but 12 and 13? I think my sisters and I were lucky they let us in the house.

** A husband and wife liked nothing the same. I don't know why these 2 were even married. He liked the city and modern clean lines. She liked the country and country style homes that looked like my Grandmothers place complete with doilies.
In the end, after all the bickering, the woman won - they do all the time on this show. Perhaps I need to go on this show because in my life it's always Rick who is winning. Damn.

** If I have to hear one more dufus say, "stainless steel appliances and granite" I will spit fire. They whine about this all the time. First of all, it's not necessary. Granite is dated. Quartz is the new thing for countertops so by the time you spend that money it's showing it's age and will look as dated as Formica.
But granite is by the far cheapest material for countertops now. I say why put that all in your mortgage anyway?  Why not adjust the sale price so you can buy your own stainless steel hard to clean appliances and get the countertops you want for far less than paying for it on your mortgage. Negotiate and say we're offering this price because it's dated.  But hey, that's just me.

** One man threw a royal hissy fit because there was grass. He didn't want to mow the lawn. It was a very small patch of grass. He had a very large belly. I think if he got out of his recliner and mowed that grass it would be most helpful to his health. He whined about grass upon pulling up to every house. Why are you looking in the 'burbs then chubby? The house his spouse loved they didn't buy because it had a 5 x 7 patch of lawn. The size of my area rug on my patio. Silly lazy man.

** One couple kept saying things like, "I don't think the kids would like this." then -  "I don't think the boys would appreciate not having their own play space" and  "I will take a picture so the kids can see this and if they approve...."
Once again it is glaringly apparent my parents hated me. I had no choice when it came to a bedroom. If I shared a room or had one alone - they decided. I had no say what so ever in their home they bought with their hard earned money.
I just had to adapt. My "play space" was outside or in my corner of my room. A room designated for us to just play?  Yeah, that wasn't going to happen in my home. We could never even watch what we wanted on TV. That was Dad's domain unless he wasn't watching anything. I had no rights what so ever until I moved out on my own. I think they did that so we'd all get the hell out of the house.  They really hated me didn't they?

Friday, May 13, 2016

Shoes, Lures and Gamblin'

There was a blues song in the late 80's or early 90's and a line from it said, 'I used to worry 'bout rich and skinny 'til I wound up poor and fat.' That pretty much sums up my life I'd say. 

The singer is coming to town and I saw that but it was a school night. Can't go on a school night. So I was disappointed.
But then my devil of a hubby saw they added a show for Saturday and he bought tickets. Now, I had other plans for the weekend. You see it's his birthday weekend so I thought I'd kidnap him and take him to Hollywood Casino and have him play poker. Ya'll know after fishing this is his favorite thing to do, play Texas Hold 'Em. (okay, after sex, fishing and then poker)  
The other night he let it slip that we had plans. I asked how he knew. Knowing full well I had not shared with him or anyone my plans to kidnap him, board Izzy and head off to Charlestown. The look on his face when he realized what he had done was pretty funny. I said, "You may as well just tell me Rick"  So he explained he had made the reservation for Izzy and was taking me to Birchmere (venue) to see Delbert McClinton and he booked a hotel nearby so we could have cocktails and not worry about driving. And here I thought he knew about my plans for him.

Nice guy huh? Yeah, he's a keeper. His birthday weekend he had a surprise for me.  Backwards for sure, but I'm sure appreciative.  Now I must make his birthday that much more special. His actual birthday is Thursday.  He wants a special homemade cake so I know I'll bake him that. I got him a couple of gifts already but I have to say buying him gifts is so damn difficult. He wants nothing. He could care less about clothes. Shoes, yes, clothes not so much. He always wants tools or something to do with fishing. I've done that for 29 yrs, I need new ideas. When I ask he says, "I don't want anything. I have everything I need."  Aargh. C'mon you can think of something.  

Izzy loves to sit on our stoop and watch the world go by. We prefer sitting on that big L-shaped sofa on the patio. But Izzy doesn't agree. Because of this Rick spends a lot of time sitting on the stoop with her. He found a cushion a few years back down at the pond and brought it home. He sits on that.  It is now falling apart. So I thought I'd get him a comfy little seat that has a back and arms. He said something one day that he needed to get a new cushion and he said, "wouldn't it be great if they came with a back?"  I said it would but I have never seen that. 

The following week I began googling this. I found one. I know he will like that having a back. The other thing is something he has said in passing that he would like as well. Again, it's a tool. I seriously don't know why he needs so damn many tools or fishing lures but I made the mistake of asking that once. He responded with, "why do you need so many black shoes?"  Touche.  I need to think of that garage of tools as my closet of shoes. But in my defense most of my shoes are so much cheaper. 

Rain, rain, rain.

Do you remember the song we sang as a little kid? 
It went, 'Rain Rain Go Away, Come again another Day.'  
That is how I am feeling right now.
We've had weeks of clouds, gray skies, and rain. 
The petunias don't seem to like it.
I hate it at this point in time. It's been months now.
I left Seattle for a reason, I'm a wuss. (ok the people are why I left but the rain may have made them all so damn cranky)

Look I know I like rain more than most.

A rainy day is a reason to pour a glass of wine  cup of coffee and snuggle up with a book or two. To hunker down inside and do things you've been avoiding because you've been playing outside. 
But at this point in time I could have read a library of books and now I want my spring/summer weather back. I fear this will finally stop and we'll be into the 90's with that horrific humidity. Nothing in between awful and Oh my sweet Jesus it's hot.  I missed spring.  I know next stop after rain will be boob sweating weather.
I don't like boob sweat. Even the sound is unattractive.

Here's to spring. I missed you and soon it will be summer.

Don't be a stranger spring if you want you may linger until July I'm fine with that. 75 is a great temp for most people in the summer so I can handle spring weather of 75 for a few months, but not 75 and rain. 
I want it all, sunny days, 75 degrees and cool nights.
Spring please don't skip seeing me.
Don't skip my flowers, they miss you too.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

What I want.

Here is what I want.

I want the character Frankie, from Grace and Frankie, to be my neighbor and good friend. I love her. Besides, she failed her driver's exam as many times as me when I moved to Seattle. (and they have NO sense of humor in that town) I did not get high to take my test like Frankie, but if that would have helped, you bet your ass I would have tried that too.

I want to live in the beach house that Grace and Frankie own.

I want the money to own such a great beach house and it's awesome furnishings.

I want to have Jane Fonda's body and face. All right, I'll also take a great many of her un-country club clothes too.

I also want that kind of a friend living near me. All mine are far away.

This is what I have learned while binge watching Grace and Frankie.
The saddest thing of all this binge watching is when it's over you feel awful.
Have to wait another year for another season. It's like your friends fly back home and you don't see them for awhile.

I need a new show.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Wednesday

I love Wednesdays.

My routine on Wednesday goes like this.
7am - take Izzy to day care.  My heavens she loves this and gets so excited.
7:30am - home again and make another cup of coffee and go to the office.
12:00p - leave office and not because I have to walk a dog!! vacuum and wash the floors on the whole 1st floor. (includes bathroom)
Clean up the kitchen and straighten up the great room and dust etc. clean bathroom and all areas of the first floor. If time, eat, or bring it back to the office and eat at my desk.
1:00pm ish - back at desk and deal with all the voicemails during the hour I was gone.
work, work, work without having to throw a ball, walk a dog 3 times, maybe even talk on the phone with customers and do a load of laundry at the same time. Sounds awful but so much better than my dog always asking to play, bringing me a ball or needing to go out. I wear a headset, the customers will never know that while I am answering their questions as I am throwing in a load of whites.
5:00p - pick up a tired dog.  Feed her and start dinner.
YIPEE. Dog tired, not a lot of walking on this night.  Ah. Go to yoga.

Great day. But now that Rick doesn't work as much as before he is underfoot.
I don't care for this semi-retirement shit. Perhaps when I am retired it will be fine because I won't be tied to this desk and phone. But right now he is underfoot.
Coming into the office and bugging me. Adding his two cents. Yet, on Friday when he was left alone in the office to do my job while I was driving north - he screwed up everything and kept calling me. Aargh. He couldn't even sign into the computer. What the hell Richard? I got a call because "Margaret it wasn't working!"

So I have decided that I don't like semi-retirement Rick.  He is out of the office today until early afternoon. Damn it. Tomorrow he will be gone all day. Yeah, that's better.

So the moral of this story is don't let them semi-retire until you retire completely and can do fun stuff together or at the least, do your own thing and not be working and having someone else bother you.

Wait, better yet, don't work with your spouse!

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

The shower

My weekend was a success. YIPEE.
The stress of wanting everything to be perfect was sky high.

I drove up just north of Pittsburgh in torrential rain.  It was horrific.
I hate driving on the turnpike to begin with. The damn jersey walls and the narrow lanes and the big trucks.  If it was snowing it would have been easier.
I could not see the lights of the cars in front of me it was raining so hard.
It was a 4.5 hr white knuckle drive.  By the time I got there I was exhausted.
It was only 4pm.  I plopped down on the sofa in my room and just exhaled.
I was there. The worse part was over.

My sister arrived about 30 minutes later from north of Pittsburgh.
She only had a 2 hr drive.

We had a great room with a kitchen. The hotel was so damn nice.
It was a hotel chain I had never heard of by Hilton called Home2 Suites.
Very nice. And thankfully I was in Pit and it was not expensive. Nothing is expensive up there. Ah, to live in a small city/town.

We chilled and had some wine in our room and got caught up.
We went across the street from the hotel to a large plaza of stores, restaurants and the like. We went to a restaurant and had dinner and drinks and laughed and it was a perfect ending to a stressful first half.

As I am prone to do, I awake at 4:50 am. But Izzy didn't wake me so I insisted on not getting out of bed. I laid there until 5:20 and I knew I wasn't going to go back to sleep. So I got up quietly to not bug my sister. I showered and did my hair and got dressed and went downstairs to the lobby to see if they had anything I could eat for breakfast. NOTHING. Bagels, cereal, waffles, danish. Not a single protein or anything that wasn't gluten for a poor celiac. They did have a bowl of fruit.
I had a banana, coffee and read the paper until I just couldn't sit anymore.
I knew my sister could sleep until noon, but we agreed to be up and moving by 8am.

I went back upstairs and she was still sound asleep. I sat on the bed. (she was in the sofa bed) I couldn't turn on the tv. I could not make noise. So I sat in the dark until 8am. Her alarm went off and I was giddy.  Yipee, we can get moving with our day.

We left at 10a to be at the winery to set up the room by 10:30a.
Our GPS had us going in circles. She was following me. Poor thing.
The GPS told me to make a u-turn. I made a u-turn. Then it told me to make a u-turn. So basically I was going in a circle. I pulled over so we could talk. She was laughing because he GPS told her the same thing. What the hell was that about?

So we used our phones and that got us where we needed to be.
It took us to 12:15p to get the room ready and the shower started at 1pm
Then we got changed into our pretty clothes and people began arriving.
I wish I had a moment to take photos. I didn't. I did take a picture after we were done putting the chair covers and bows on and the rest of the room. Of course my centerpieces as well.
This photo is the after - you needed to see the before to see how much better this ended up looking. The wrinkles were steamed out so don't judge by this photo.

The shower was a hit. The food was fabulous I was told, by even my mother.
(aside from salad there was nothing I could eat)
Or as only my passive aggressive mother can do her insult is sure to be in there.
"Peg, the food is better than I thought it would be."
So typical that my sister and I had a discussion while we were tying bows.
I said, "wanna bet how many things will be wrong by mom?"  She said no, but remember even the compliments will have a tinge of insult in there"
We laughed. So when our mother said this to me, my sister was right there and winked at me and walked away. If you don't laugh you'd be in therapy. She's been my mom for 46 of my 60 years so I'm used to it. Now we all makes jokes about it. There have been times when the 5 of us would make a bet and sure enough she would deliver and we all burst into laughter and she asks what is so funny.

My niece was thrilled with the whole thing and is still thanking me. The wine flowed, boy did the wine flow.
The bride to be and her friends can drink like me...tee hee.
The games were played the prizes were won and there was a ton of laughter!!

My niece had a photographer friend there so when I see those photos maybe I can get some and share. I was too busy hosting and mingling to take photos.
But this will make you fall off your chair....I had only 1 glass of red wine.
I know.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Random Life Happenings

It's never fun when you receive mail that has a return address in the corner of the IRS.
I handed it over to Rick and said, "Hey look at this. Looks like a check but we are not supposed to be getting money back from the IRS"

Rick grabbed the envelope and opened it. It was indeed a check for $351.00 along with a letter. 
The letter stated that we overpaid our quarterly estimated taxes so they were refunding us $351 and taking $105 for a penalty because we overpaid.
WHAT?

We overpaid and there is a penalty? I wonder what the penalty would be if we had underpaid?  I was worried about cashing the check so I called our friendly IRS and they said it was indeed correct. We overpaid so there is a penalty charge of $105.

I want to say, I can't believe it. However, we all know the IRS has some strange ass rules so I guess I should just appreciate they gave me the $351. That's what they think so I will cash it and shut up. 

__________

I have been getting calls daily from scam artists calling themselves sales people.
If I am on the phone it will go to a voicemail telling them I'm on the phone.
They leave a message telling me that they would like to finalize our discussion we've been having regarding our loan funds.
Or the other message is that they tell me they are calling me back to share that they got a better offer for me than what we previously discussed.

Either way, I never spoke to them, I don't have a loan with them and I don't wish to have anything to do with them.

Yesterday someone called again to discuss our "capital" 
I let him go on and on and finally he stopped talking.
I asked him if he knew what a good sales person does.
He responded with, "pardon me?"
I repeat my question.
He said, "I guess not"
I said, "exactly.  A good sales person asks questions and then LISTENS.  You have called me and never stopped talking then add the fact that you are lying to me. So if I did want to get some extra capital do you think I would use you?"
He laughed. The ass laughed.  
I asked, "So you stated you want to go over my loan with me. What loan might that be?"
Ass on Phone: "Well that is just a ploy to get you to talk to me or call me back."
Me: "Gee, no kidding. Please take me off your calling list because someone who works in such a sleazy way isn't someone I wish to do business with."
Ass: "But you probably need some capital and we could help you."
Me: "Please remove me from your call list. Have a good day." (Hung up)

I wonder how many people fall for that sleazy approach?
We are a very small company who did a very big job for a large contractor.
The job was over a 6 month period this past year.  We finished in January.
We knew that we couldn't do this job and not get paid for 7 months. 
This would most certainly strap us. 
So in our contract, we asked that we be paid monthly on what was completed. 
The company said they would give us a draw monthly based on what was completed. That was the compromise. Even though we did the work and should be paid they would only give us 90% of the pay until the full job was completed. A draw of our own money was odd but better than nothing. We have a lot of expenses going out for this large job including payroll, travel and hotels so we appreciated them paying us monthly even if it wasn't the full amount.

During this time we got a call from a company called On Deck who helps small contractor type companies like us and loaning them money. You repay it back daily as an auto draft. I listened to the spiel, I asked all the questions. I then spoke to Rick about it and he agreed this may help while working on this job. So we did it. A small amount but enough to help offset things when the above-mentioned company didn't pay on time or when we had to wait for our first check after 3 months.  So much for their idea of monthly pay. We are still waiting for our last check.  It's May, job completed in January.

This company On Deck who gives contractors credit was great to work with, professional and it saved us.
Once the company paid us most of our money they owed us we paid the loan off. 
So it was quick and painless. Helpful when we needed it.
They didn't scam me with telling me they have better rates to readjust my current loan with them. (yes one actually said that to me, a loan we didn't have) It was straight forward, honest and it helped during that time.  If we ever needed to do that again I would use them. The sleazy companies calling me lately could learn a lesson.
___________________

We had a goofy customer this morning. 
She had an estimate with Rick 3 weeks ago. She asked me to call her 20 minutes before he was to be there so she could meet him at this apartment that she owned and did not live in .  I did as asked.

She booked the appointment and I told her we would be there at 8am. I sent her an email stating confirmation of her appointment and we would be there at 8am on said date. I called her yesterday, the day before her appointment, to remind her of her appointment and that we will be there at 8am. She said, OK

We get there at 8am and she is not there. We can not get in the building. We tried to call her all morning. At 8:40a I was able to reach her. She said I was to call her to wake her up and meet our technician there. WHAT? I'm an alarm clock now?
I replied with an I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I had to do this again. You mentioned it was necessary for the day of the estimate but you never said that to me again. She then said, "I didn't know you were stupid and that I'd have to repeat it to you."
OMG. I bit my tongue. I wanted her $2500+
She said she was on her way to meet our 'man'.
She gets there and Gary calls me about an issue. She is in the background screaming like a cat. What played out while I was on the phone with him was scary nuts. Her handyman was there - he installed the tiles she bought and asked him to install. She sees these tiles and flips out. She now has no recollection of telling him that so she wants this taken down and she is not paying her handyman for all this work, she screams. I hear the handyman scream that she is nuts and where did I get the tiles to install - you bought them and paid for them and told me to put them up. She insists she did not buy them or say this and will not pay for it so take it all down. He says no. He calls her crazy and he didn't buy them. She says they are ugly and on it goes. 

Gary is trying to get this all on track and about him so he can move on and start the damn job. He points out the damage that was done since the estimate by the handyman. The handyman is honest and along with Gary they show her and explain what Gary will have to do. He never said there would be a charge or anything just wanted her to see it so she was aware. No surprises is our saying here. We also weren't going to charge her but needed her to be aware.

Apparently being aware is not good for her. That just made her flip out again and begins screaming, stomping her feet and screaming some more. (Gary said she behaved worse than his toddler having a meltdown)
At this point, all I hear is the handyman and her voice screaming at one another.
She said she was just going to leave then.
Well, because people leave and never come back or pay us we can no longer allow that to happen. So Gary asks if she is coming back to which she says no, He tells her that she can leave a card with me and he will send the after photos or leave a check with him. If a card is left with me I'll charge it when he calls to tell me he's done etc. He explains the whole thing. I heard it because his phone was still on in his earpiece. He explained it calmly and professionally. That didn't help her though.
That made her scream and stomp some more. She then tells the handy man to pay us. What? Then the fighting starts between the handyman and this twit while Gary is just standing there. She looks at Gary and says, " I don't think I want to do this anymore unless he (pointing to the handy man) pays for it." The handyman is now calling her names and refuses to pay of course. She walks out. The handy man looks at Gary and says, "Looks like we're both being screwed."

Gary says, "You still there Peg? She just left so you think I should leave too?"
Me: Yes.  I hate losing money but I think we dodged a bullet here Gary as much as we both hate losing the money.
Gary: "Peg she was certifiable. You should have seen her, her face was beet red and when she stomped her feet I really had to try not to laugh. It was like XXX (a customer who played games like this and left and then never answered their phone again and never paid) I think you're right we dodged a bullet. I have a feeling nothing would have made her happy either.

So I've had a fun filled morning. How about you?

___________________

Had Yoga last night. After my shot in my knee the doc said I would feel worse before better. And boy he was right. I was actually limping into yoga. I had off the chart pain. 
I told the yogi what had just transpired with me so she would understand if I couldn't kneel on that knee etc. She was great about it.

Rick was in the first row, I was in the last row. I told you I wasn't going to be next to him. Had to keep the giggling to a minimum. He was the only man in a sea of 15 women. He likes it like that. 

Half way through class I thought I was going to die. The pain was over the top. 
I did what I could and there were actually 3 that I just couldn't do because I couldn't kneel on it. She gave me another version so she was most helpful.
The class was long and wonderful. Who knew? I enjoyed it. No farting around me this time. Thank goodness!

I can't get my head on the floor and do some of the things others could, but I could do some things that others couldn't. It is not a race except with myself so I am sure as I stretch I will get better. I honestly could feel the burn in my hamstrings and lower back last night. Those areas on me are so tight so it was a good hurt/burn. Today I just feel good.

And speaking of feeling good, my knee is better, not great but better.  Dr. Handsome said it may be up to 5 days before I feel great. I am going up and downstairs rapidly again so it worked. I don't think kneeling is going to be something I'll do until next weeks class. Don't want to jinx it. 

Off to Pittsburgh in the morning. Hate this drive.  I went to the liquor store to get boxes with dividers to put the centerpieces in. Pray they don't move or get damaged after all this work. 

See you after the weekend event. :-)